Dumb Assed things I do for shit & giggles...
I'll keep this blog runnng...
12/7... the title of this chaper is, "Microwave is NOY a sex toy!" Got over to my customer's condo for Monday clean-up duty, and he asks me what I got plugged up my ass. Pulled out my new dong that I've had parked in my rectum for at least the last 3 weeks since I've had it... got from Amazon. So he says, "Howza 'bout we coat the fucker with some Crisco and I pop it in the microwave and sit down for a cup of coffee?" So naturally, being dipshitted in the brain department, watch him do that and while he's admiring the strapless jock I just got from a friends, all hell breaks loose in the microwave with my butt plug inside. Grabbed a potholder and pulled the fucker out- it was all blistered but fortunately didn't melt. My customer asked me to let it cool off a little bit before I shoved it up his ass... almost forgot to ask him for it back after cleaning the joint. Chuckled to myself wondering if dildo cruelty is a felony... HAHAHA! <div><div>
Today, 11/20, got home from a light day of work to be greeted by 2 cartons on the front porch...pair of casesof 1.75 Cuervo bottles I ordered from BevMo last Sunday. Went in the <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=house" target="_blank">house</a> to drop my <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=shorts" target="_blank">shorts</a> and make sure my new favorite butt plug was still cozy in my asshole, then went out, did a squat to lift up one of the boxes, and when I hoisted it, that damn butt plug shot outta my turdcutter like a bottle rocket- made it all the way to the curb. Hauled the other box in before <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=jogging" target="_blank">jogging</a> down to the <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=street" target="_blank">street</a>, sucking the gravel off the plug and stuffing it back up my ass before getting on here and doing the daily porn gig. Thought to myself, "Good thing I didn't put nobody's eye out walking the <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=dog" target="_blank">dog</a> down the sidewalk in front of my <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=house" target="_blank">house</a>!"
Spent Friday running up and down ladders in Pacific Heights and the Presidio- cleaning windows nude with a butt plug up my ass. Was thinking about grilling pizza for supper tonight. Decided I would just kick back looking at some porn. Get my glutes massaged later waiting for a pizza to get delivered. And when I'm loose enough, pin my ankles behind my ears and get my hole I been loosening all day fucked real good and breeded: https://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/13785917/376501738
Monday dropped by Kaiser up on Geary to get my flu shot. Had a security desk set up and asked me to show my Kaiser card and driver's license, which I politely did. Gal in what looked like a Klingon uniform marched up to me with a fucking ray gun and said she was gonna take my temperature on my forehead before I got in line. Waved her away, dropped my <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=jeans" target="_blank">jeans</a>. Bent over and spread my cheeks. Told her I like getting my temperature took the old-fashioned way, with a thermometer up my rectum. Security guard sitting in front of the pharmacy across the way was laughing his ass off, but at least I got inoculated for the season!
Sunday, my gal pal sent me to the Safeway to pick her up some feminine hygiene products... she knows that puts a burr under my saddle. Loaded up the grocery cart and sure enough, got to the dame cashier rejected my Club Card entitling me to an $8.49 discount. Ended up at the manager's <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=office" target="_blank">office</a>. Blue and red haired bitch let me in, locked the door I spent the next half hour licking her pussy and asshole before bolting a pearl necklace over her Safeway apron. Got back to my gal's joint and when she asked me why I was gone so long, I just put her throat on my dick and asked her when her daughter was gonna be home.</div></div>
12
Today, 11/20, got home from a light day of work to be greeted by 2 cartons on the front porch...pair of casesof 1.75 Cuervo bottles I ordered from BevMo last Sunday. Went in the <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=house" target="_blank">house</a> to drop my <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=shorts" target="_blank">shorts</a> and make sure my new favorite butt plug was still cozy in my asshole, then went out, did a squat to lift up one of the boxes, and when I hoisted it, that damn butt plug shot outta my turdcutter like a bottle rocket- made it all the way to the curb. Hauled the other box in before <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=jogging" target="_blank">jogging</a> down to the <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=street" target="_blank">street</a>, sucking the gravel off the plug and stuffing it back up my ass before getting on here and doing the daily porn gig. Thought to myself, "Good thing I didn't put nobody's eye out walking the <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=dog" target="_blank">dog</a> down the sidewalk in front of my <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=house" target="_blank">house</a>!"
Spent Friday running up and down ladders in Pacific Heights and the Presidio- cleaning windows nude with a butt plug up my ass. Was thinking about grilling pizza for supper tonight. Decided I would just kick back looking at some porn. Get my glutes massaged later waiting for a pizza to get delivered. And when I'm loose enough, pin my ankles behind my ears and get my hole I been loosening all day fucked real good and breeded: https://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/13785917/376501738
Monday dropped by Kaiser up on Geary to get my flu shot. Had a security desk set up and asked me to show my Kaiser card and driver's license, which I politely did. Gal in what looked like a Klingon uniform marched up to me with a fucking ray gun and said she was gonna take my temperature on my forehead before I got in line. Waved her away, dropped my <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=jeans" target="_blank">jeans</a>. Bent over and spread my cheeks. Told her I like getting my temperature took the old-fashioned way, with a thermometer up my rectum. Security guard sitting in front of the pharmacy across the way was laughing his ass off, but at least I got inoculated for the season!
Sunday, my gal pal sent me to the Safeway to pick her up some feminine hygiene products... she knows that puts a burr under my saddle. Loaded up the grocery cart and sure enough, got to the dame cashier rejected my Club Card entitling me to an $8.49 discount. Ended up at the manager's <a href="https://image-seeker.com/s/?q=office" target="_blank">office</a>. Blue and red haired bitch let me in, locked the door I spent the next half hour licking her pussy and asshole before bolting a pearl necklace over her Safeway apron. Got back to my gal's joint and when she asked me why I was gone so long, I just put her throat on my dick and asked her when her daughter was gonna be home.</div></div>
4 years ago