Night Mirrors
This erotic short novel is loosely inspired by Carmilla (extr. In a Glass Darkly, 1872), by Irish writer Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (1814-1873), A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1990) and The Dream Hunters 1 (1999), by English writer Neil Gaiman (born in 1960), in Sandman.
As English is not my mother tongue, I have done my best to translate my thoughts so that they can be easily understood by the reader. I therefore pray that the latter will indulge in errors of meaning, grammar or spelling which he will encounter almost inevitably. Also, I referred, in my writing, to some characters who really existed. These characters lived at very different times from each other. So, logically, they never met each other. Furthermore, their life has absolutely nothing to do with what is described in my short novel. It goes without saying that this text is pure fiction. Readers concerned with historical accuracy will therefore have only to ignore the many anachronisms they will find as they read.
*Warning: Readers in a hurry will be disappointed. As you can notice, this writing is not exactly a «O.K., Mary. Now, lie down there and spread your legs» story. I know that this story does not quite fit with the standard stories found on the XHamster website. Nevertheless, I hope you will still like it. If that is the case, I would appreciate it if you would leave me a kind note in the comments section. If, however, this story is nothing else for you but a sweet crap sandwich, please don’t say anything. I say it without false shame, I have sensitive skin.
I don’t know if
you came to me or me to you.
Or if it was reality or a dream,
sleep or awakening.
I am lost in the darkness
of a broken heart.
Dream or reality,
let it be decided tonight.
Neil Gaiman
The Dream Hunters 1
In Sandman
Diary of Hanna T.
After several years of reflection and questioning, I decided to tell the story of my meeting with a very strange young woman. The story I’m telling you took place in the fall of 1872. At the time, I lived with my widowed father, my mother having been through puerperal fever. After a distinguished military career with the Austrian Consular Administration, my father, of English origin, had inherited a small country manor house, or schloss, in German language, in Styria, when he retired. This country manor was abandoned for many years. But the Austro-Hungarian State has refurbished it, in order to make it habitable again. Also, my father was entitled to a very comfortable life annuity, as a result of his many exceptional services to the Empire.
For those who do not know, Styria is a province located in the south of Austria, on the border with Hungary, whose county town is Graz. The landscape that surrounded our home consisted of a dense forest, pierced here and there by some clearings. An old winding road meanders to our manor. Nearby was a pond, on which floated water lilies and flowed gracefully swans with majestic plumage. I loved strolling near this pond, especially on sunny afternoons, often with a book of poetry in hand.
Having lost my mother very young, my father had hired two ladies of great kindness and extremely generous. First, there is my nanny, Madame Perrodon, a native of Berne, Switzerland, who has always been able to compensate for the loss of my poor mother. Then there was a private tutor, Mademoiselle De Lafontaine. Mademoiselle De Lafontaine was fluent in French and German. Madame Perrodon, for her part, spoke French and broken English. Needless to say, our household was often a joyful Tower of Babel, which often made us laugh! Also, we had a butler and a groom assigned to the maintenance of our small estate and the welfare of our horses. Our property being located in a rather isolated area, apart from the few visits of our «neighbours», they remaining five or six leagues, or fifteen or eighteen miles away, the life we led was rather solitary. Fortunately, my father had a fairly well-stocked library, which allowed me to escape from our monotonous rhythm of life. To me, this library has always had the aura of a treasure cave. The result of my father’s boundless curiosity and eclectic taste, this library contained books on science, philosophy, history and politics (no wonder, given my father’s brilliant career in diplomatic circles!) as well as art and literature.
On one of these afternoons, while I was sitting, leaning against an alder, reading, I suddenly heard the crashing noise of a hitch which, according to the direction of the sound, must have had an accident while crossing the drawbridge that gives our property. Alarmed by this sudden noise, I rushed to the drawbridge, not knowing what to expect. Arriving at the scene of the accident, I saw my father walking fast, accompanied by the two ladies and the two men of service of our household.
When we reached the bridge, we saw a stopped team, the coach having visibly struck the stone pa****t. The coachman and another man were helping to get the occupants out of the convoy. First of all, a lady, in her fifties, got out of the carriage, helped by the two men. According to her clothes, she seemed to come from high Austrian society. She seemed a little shaken, but without any visible signs of injury. The man who accompanied the coachman, dressed in black and with a livid pallor, spoke with the lady, while the coachman helped another person out of the carriage. It was a young woman, dressed in a black taffeta dress and wearing a wide-brimmed hat. Her face was partially covered with a veil of the same colour as her dress. Of medium size and of a thin size, she seemed still under the shock of the jerk of the chariot. Reaching her height, I could distinguish, through her veil, a face of exquisite beauty. While my father, Madame Perrodon, and Mademoiselle De Lafontaine were conversing with the older lady and the man in black accompanying her, I naturally lent my help to the young woman. Leaving the coachman and the mysterious man to take care of the horses and check the condition of the carriage, we took the way to the manor, in order to comfort the two ladies.
- Come in, please, says my father to the two ladies. Madame Perrodon will make you some tea. Let’s go to the living room, if you please. We’ll be more comfortable.
Once settled in the salon, the older lady spoke.
- Excuse me, sir. With all due respect, could I ask you to pull the curtains a little bit? My niece has always shown great sensitivity to sunlight. And I fear the shock we’ve just been through has not helped much.
- I understand perfectly, Madam. I will deal with it immediately.
- You’re very kind, sir.
It was then that the niece took off her hat and her veil, discovering, as I said, a face of a pale milk, but of a magnificent beauty. Her hair was jet black. And her eyes, dark brown, gave off a magnetism that I could hardly resist. Immediately, she gave me a smile, revealing a dentition of an immaculate whiteness, so natural, so full of charm, that I almost blushed.
- Oh, there’s Madame Perrodon with the tea. But forgive me. I still haven’t introduced myself. I’m Lord Molineaux. And this is my daughter, Hanna.
- Molineaux, says the older lady. Are you of French origin, sir?
- Not exactly, Madam. I am of English origin. However, my ancestors belonged to the small Norman nobility. Following the edict of Fontainebleau, signed by the King of France Louis XIV, on October 18, 1685, revoked the edict of Nantes by which Henry IV, in 1598, had granted a certain freedom of worship to the Protestants of the kingdom. That is why almost 200,000 French Protestants, or Huguenots, fled to Prussia, especially those of the Lutheran faith, some in the United Provinces, Switzerland and sometimes their colonies such as America or the Cape Colony, in South Africa, while others, such as my ancestors, emigrated to England and Ireland.
- I am delighted to meet a character of such an illustrious lineage, Lord Molineaux. My niece and I love France. Without forgetting England, of course. For my part, without wanting to be discourteous, I prefer to keep my identity secret. This is my niece, Carmilla. During this unfortunate incident on your property, we were rushing to Graz. The path being very winding in this region, my coachman did not negotiate a curve properly, with the result you see. I have some very urgent business to attend to in this city. These obligations will easily take me a month, maybe a little bit more. You see, my niece is rather fragile in constitution. And I believe that this trip and the incident that has just occurred has made her more weakened than I anticipated. You see me in the greatest embarrassment, sir. May I ask you a favor?
- Please do, Madam. If I can be of any use to you, I’d be delighted.
- I would be most grateful if you would take care of my niece while I settle the matters I have spoken of. Of course, I will do everything in my power to conclude this matter as soon as possible. Since the presence of my niece is not essential, it will be much easier for me to fulfill my obligations once I return to Graz. And I’ll pick up Carmilla when I get home. I know that with a family as honourable as yours, I can pursue my business with peace of mind.
- It is with great pleasure that I grant your request, Madam. Moreover, I am sure that your charming niece, Carmilla, will become an ideal companion for my daughter, Hanna. It must be said that we live a life of seclusion here. And nothing can replace a friendly presence. Especially since my daughter and your niece look about the same age.
- I don’t know how to thank you, Sir. My gratitude goes out to you.
While the Lord and Madame were talking, the man in black burst into the drawing-room and, after a short bow, beckoned the lady to come and join him.
- Please, excuse me, sir. My counselor’s asking for me.
- Please do, Madam.
After a few minutes of quiet discussion, the lady returned to Lord Molineaux.
- Excuse me, sir. But I’m going to have to take my leave right now. I have been told that the team is ready and that we should leave now, if we want to enjoy the rest of the day.
- Madam, I assure you, on my honour as a gentleman, that your niece will be perfectly safe in this household.
With a smile, the lady left the place, accompanied by the man in black. My father, me and Carmilla escorted them to the carriage. When she arrived at the carriage, the lady addressed a few words to her niece, so that the others could not hear their words. After another brief greeting from both sides, the convoy left the property.
- Let’s go home now, says my father. It’s getting cold. Hanna, I’ll leave it to you to introduce her to our guest. I’d appreciate it if you could help her unpack, if you don’t mind. Carl took them up while we were talking.
- With great pleasure, Father. Come on, follow me, Carmilla. I really look forward to getting to know you better.
Arriving at the room my father had booked for Carmilla, barely suppressing my curiosity, I hastened to help our guest unpack. In a trunk, hidden in a pile of clothes, I discovered some literature. One of these books immediately caught my attention.
- Tears of the Divine Passion, by Fumiko-ho.
- What did you say, Hanna?
- This is the title of the book I just found in your trunk. Who is this Fumiko-ho?
- Ah! This book. It’s one of my favorites. Fumiko-Lo was a Japanese poet, one of the greatest and underrated, in my opinion, under the Edo era.
What is the Edo era?
- Edo period was a long and important period in the history of Japan. It lasted more than two and a half centuries, from 1603 to 1867. In short, this entire period was placed under the reign of the Tokugawa Shogunate. Although the country is still ruled by an emperor, in reality, it was the shogun who held the real political, economic and military power in that country.
- It’s amazing to see a young woman know so much about such a distant country!
- Let’s say that, like you, I live long periods of solitude. And books have often been my most faithful companions. Also, as with your father, my family has been in contact with many personalities from different backgrounds. That is why I became interested in subjects that many Europeans know little or no about. But you seem to be interested in Fumiko.
- Yes, indeed. What is this book?
- It is a collection of poems by Fumiko, gathered after her departure, by a monk, Kūkai. It was he who gave this somewhat enigmatic title to this collection.
- I’m more and more interested in that. I’d like to learn more about Fumiko.
- I admit that Fumiko’s life has a lot of mystery. In fact, much of her life is more or less filled with legends. And that’s what makes it so fascinating, no doubt.
- Tell! I love legends. Reality is often quite boring like this.
- If you will. Fumiko-Lo lived, according to some, around the second period of the s*******nth beginning of the eighteenth century. She would come from a modest environment. From a very young age, her parents as well as her teachers at the communal school, quickly noticed her exceptional talents for writing and notably poetry. On the recommendation of one of them, Fumiko was taken to a monastic convent to further her education. This monastery was run by a scholar, as wise as he was kind, the monk Takuan Sôho, said the indomitable spirit. Over the years, Fumiko learned the art of calligraphy, philosophy and perfected her poetic art to the point of outperforming some monks, though older than her. However, there was never the slightest envy of anyone. Growing up, Fumiko aroused the admiration of all the monks, including Master Takuan Sôho.
One fine day, a lady from the court of the daimyo, or local governor, came to the temple, to bring some offerings to the monks and to win the good graces of the gods. Dame Irigawa, for that was her name, witnessed the praise of which Fumiko was the object, not to mention her great beauty. Now, precisely, the daimyo was in search of a new lady of company for his daughter, one of them having left the palace, having been chosen by the shogun to marry one of his sons. Upon the announcement of this news, Master Takuan immediately proposed his protégée. Thus, Fumiko began a new life. As at the monastery, Fumiko soon aroused a lively pleasure from the court of the daimyo, especially for her poetic talents and her beauty.
- I’d like you to read me one of Fumiko’s poems, Carmilla.
- With great pleasure, Hanna. Please, give me the book, that I choose one. Before I read you some of her poems, I must tell you that almost all of Fumiko’s poems exalt the feeling of love. They are sometimes sad. But also filled with passion and tenderness for an unknown lover. This collection is a bilingual copy, translated into German and English by a great English philologist, Lord Jack Cummings. Lord Cummings was one of the most brilliant students of the renowned Professor Hesselius, a leading Austrian scholar of Japanese culture and language. Ah! Here’s one that I really like. It’s called How not to Love You:
How not to love you
If my skin is your skin
If my fingers recognize
The heat of your body;
The curve of your ear
And the subtlety of your mouth.
How not to love you
If I ramble at every moment
With the texture of your back
With the beauty of your chest,
With the murmur of our bodies…
… How can I not love you?
Light of my soul
If you are the reason
Of my sleepless nights
If you are the reason
Of my dreams.
- Irigawa! You know I don’t like people reading my poems out loud over my shoulder while I’m writing.
- Please, forgive me, Fumiko. You know how much I like to tease you. This faith is a very special reason that brings me to you. Princess Asuka asks you. She’s in her bath right now.
- What? Irigawa! You try to fool me again. It’s not funny.
- Not at all, Fumiko. You know perfectly well that I would never joke about Princess Asuka. Go and see her. She is looking forward to you. And she asked you to read her some of your lovely poems. Hurry! It would be very wrong to keep the princess waiting.
- Forgive me, Princess Asuka. But Dame Irigawa told me you wanted to see me, so I could read you some of my poems. But I see you haven’t finished taking your bath. I can leave you with your servants and come back a little later, if you wish.
- Come in, Fumiko. You’re not bothering me at all. Sit by the basin. I have had the pleasure of watching you a few times. I am convinced that the grace of your poetry equals your delicate beauty.
- Your Majesty gives me far too much honour, an honour I probably do not deserve.
- On the contrary, Fumiko. I know what I’m saying very well. And I’m not used to complimenting lightly. I’ve arranged a tatami, where you can kneel comfortably to read to me.
- First of all, I chose a poem I wrote a few months ago. It’s called The Rain.
The leaves of our tree tremble
before the majestic wandering of the wind
and the pollen of the flowers in concert
adorn the pen where they rock you.
The jealous rain has appeared
he goes and calls his friend the hurricane
in a new idyll they will transform
ecstasy of a wet pistil.
Like your body honey dew
he unburdens himself before the deep cove
that makes the pores of your skin pop.
Passionate woman delivery
she radiates with passion to the tinsel
and she is wild and tender and in love.
- Clearly, the ladies of the court have not exaggerated about your gifts for poetry, Fumiko. That’ll be all for tonight. I’d like to talk to Fumiko alone. Come on, Fumiko. You can leave your poems on the tatami. I wouldn’t want you to get your scrolls wet. Finally, I want to take a closer look at the woman who has intoxicated me with so much beauty and emotion. I would like you to help me finish taking my bath. You can undress and tie a towel around your waist. Take the sponge and rub my back. Don’t be shy. Sit on the steps of the basin behind me. You’ll be more comfortable. The water is good.
- At your command, your Highness.
- And don’t call me princess or your Highness anymore. From now on, between us, just call me by my name, Asuka.
- Your Highness? Are you sure?
- Yes, Fumiko.
- If that is your will, so be it.
- This is my will, Fumiko.
- Asuka, I’m not used to giving baths. I’m afraid I’m rather clumsy.
- Don’t worry, Fumiko. I’ll guide your movements.
- You’re very good, Fumiko. Put the sponge down and carry on with your hands.
- Your hands are very soft. They have the delicacy of your poems. Rub my shoulders so I can put my head on them. Tell me, Fumiko, do you like lotus flowers?
- Like the ones we see in front of us right now?
- Exactly. I love lotus flowers. They are so beautiful, in their femininity. They are like an offering to Heaven, permanently. Let me take your hands. I want to taste some of their sweetness.
- You High… Euh, forgive me, Asuka.
- Be calm, Fumiko. you know I won’t hurt you. They taste so good. Approach your face to mine, now that I can savor the source of so much beauty. Your hair is beautiful, Fumiko. It’s like a black silk d****. And I can smell your breath now. It smells like the first cherries we pick in the spring. Now, close your eyes and let yourself be. I want to soak up every word you say. Open your mouth a little so I can meet this tongue, which gives life and body to all the jewels you write.
- Hanna! Were you dreaming? You looked like you were asleep.
- Oh! forgive me, Carmilla. I wasn’t sleeping.
- I have an idea. What would you say if we went swimming at the pond, close to your home?
- But, Carmilla, it will be dark soon. Don’t you think it unwise to go swimming at such a late hour? Moreover, it is autumn. The water in the pond should start to be cold.
- Don’t be afraid. I’m used to it. It’s going to be a full moon night. We’ll just bring a lantern and some towels. And I promise you, with me, you won’t be cold. I promise we won’t stay too long. We’ll just have to tell your father we’re going for a walk in the garden.
- If you say so, I agreed. I must say that we’ve had a lot of hot, sunny days lately. So, the water shouldn’t be too cold.
- Let us undress here. Come on, Hanna. Don’t be timid! There are only the two of us here. No one will see us. Hang the lantern on that branch. Let me go first. Come join me! It’s like I told you. The water is good. Give me your hand.
- You were right. The water is not too cold. And the moon is so bright, tonight.
- Let say that it will be our sun. Your body is so magnificent, Hanna. Come on. I would like to give you a moon bath.
- But I took my bath this morning, Carmilla!
- I have no doubt about it, Hanna. It doesn’t matter. You smell very good. I like your perfume. What is it, by the way? Let say that this night, you will be my princess and me your obedient servant. Please, Milady, let me help you to take your usual moon bath.
- Don’t be silly, Carmilla. It’s not exactly a perfume. It’s an eau de toilette. Glycerin. But now we’re in the water, the scent will dissipate quickly enough.
- Turn around and I’ll rub your back. Your skin is as clear as an opal. And so soft. It looks like silk. Don’t be nervous. I’ll take it easy. I’m going to stick with you. Close your eyes. I love the lapping of water running down your body, Hanna. Now, put your head on my shoulder. you’ll be more comfortable. Your hair are so soft, like your skin. Did your classmates tell you that?
- Carmilla! What is this nonsense? It was Mademoiselle De Lafontaine who educated me, since I was a little girl. Also, classmates, especially of the same gender, do not use such language.
- Ha-ha! Don’t be upset. As I said, you’re so beautiful, Hanna. With such a body, I would be glad to be your humble servant… and your lover.
- Carmilla! Now, you mock me again. You know perfectly well that such things are against nature.
- Not against nature, Hanna. Men made the rules, from millennials, at their sole advantage. What do we know about nature? Let say that tonight, we’ll make our own rules.
Once again, you have a beautiful body, Hanna. How can we resist such a treasure? I love your breasts. They look so firm and appetizing. Can I touch them? Don’t worry. I’ll take it easy. Hanna! Your nipples are starting to harden! Now, close your eyes and let me do. Your breath is getting faster and faster. So, you like my caresses. Please, my lovely princess, let me honor such wonders as it should be. I think I’ll let my lips guide me.
- Huuuuuh! Carmilla! What are you doing?
- I told you, Hanna. Don’t be afraid. I know what I am doing. I’m just sucking your lovely nipples. They are so tasty. I see there is another one. Now, let me continue. Oh! I notice your belly seems to want the same treatment.
- Aaaaaaahh! Carmilla! You’re making me lose my mind.
- Really? So, let my fingers get acquainted with the pretty bush between your thighs. Huuummmm! It’s so warm and wet.
- It’s normal. We’re in the water.
- I know that, silly. I didn’t refer to this kind of wetness. Give me your hand. I think my little cave needs the same treatment. I think my little rotations begin to make their effect. Now, let me kiss you again, before I go and explore what lies beneath that lovely bush you have between your thighs.
- Carmilla! Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
- I think I heard the laughter of two young women running in the bushes, near the shore.
- Perhaps it is Madame Perrodon and Mademoiselle de La Fontaine who had the same idea as us tonight and did not tell us about it to give us a little surprise. Ha-ha-ha!
- No, Carmilla. I’m serious!
- Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I forgot. (giggle) Seriously, it’s probably the wind. Or maybe it was the cry of two a****ls. Some birds calls can look like laughter from afar. Also, how can you imagine two women running among the bushes, in such a remote country, in full darkness, without the slightest source of light to guide them? They would have to have a lantern, as we do. Now, apart from our lantern, attached to a branch, and the moon, I see no other form of lighting. And even a full moon would be clearly insufficient for them to be able to locate themselves without stumbling in the vegetation or hit a tree.
- Yes. You’re probably right…
- Fumiko. You made me loose my mind!
- You too, Asuka.
- Now, help me dry out and get back to your room. I think we have some things to finish. Above all, be discreet. I don’t want to stir up gossips in court.
- I’ll be careful.
- You made me discover a universe I never dared to suspect, Carmilla. Now, I think we’d better go home, before my father, Madame Perrodon, Mademoiselle de La Fontaine and the servants worry.
- You’re right, Hanna. Let’s go home.
- Miss Hanna! Miss Carmilla! God bless us. We were beginning to worry about your absence. My goodness! You are all wet! Did you go swimming at the pond? What an idea, at this time of year and so late! I will not say anything about it to your father, Miss Hanna. He’ll think you’ve lost your mind. Come in quickly. I’ll get you some dry clothes. In the meantime, take a seat by the fireplace. At least it’ll warm you up.
- Thank you very much, Madam Perrodon. You’ve always been a mother hen to me. Come on, Carmilla. I’m getting a little cold.
- It’s so comforting to sit in front of a good fire. Don’t you think, Carmilla? Carmilla! You look thoughtful all of a sudden.
- Please, forgive me, Hanna. I was thinking about the poet I told you about, Fumiko. According to some accounts, it seems that Fumiko and Princess Asuka had special ties. Some say they were lovers. Some stories tell that Princess Asuka would join Fumiko every night in her room.
- But, didn’t the Princess’s companions notice anything?
- They probably knew about it. But, no doubt out of affection and solidarity for Fumiko and the princess Asuka, they kept silent.
- Your clothes are ready. They are waiting for you in your room. Don’t wait too long to change. Staying too long with wet clothes on your back is not very healthy.
- Thank you so much, Madam Perrodon. We’re going upstairs to change immediately. Are you coming, Carmilla? You can keep telling me about Fumiko. The more I learn about her, the more intrigued I become.
- I’m following you, Hanna. It’s getting kind of late.
- I’m getting tired too. However, before going to bed, I would like you to tell me a little more about Fumiko.
- If you want, Hanna. But just a little bit.
- Asuka? Don’t you think it’s a little risky coming to my room at this hour?
- Hushhhhhhhh! Not so loud, Fumiko. Were you asleep?
No. I was thinking about meeting you when you bathed.
So we find ourselves in the shadows with the light of hidden passions, with the trembling of the first few times and a repressed desire without measures.
Your eyes dilated on my breasts my breasts seducing your mouth, my mouth biting your lips, your teeth tearing off my clothes.
Your hands torturing my skin, your fingers exploring until I go crazy, my nails scratching your back, my sweat raining down on your chest like drops.
Your whispers, my moans, your heartbeats, my contortions, your tongue, my ear, your legs, my thighs...
… with my movements and my ride, y messy hair caresses your face.
you ... you gasp, intense, continuous, without pause.
I live you, I feel you, I breathe you.
The smell, the voices, the walls, we disappear together for a moment, when I return I find your body next to mine.
And I break the silences, I approach and say in your ear:
we repeat ??
- Hanna! You’re blushing!
- I’m sorry, Carmilla. I’m not used to listening poems, so, how should I say... daring.
- Don’t be sorry, Hanna. You have no idea how beautiful you look when you blush. You don’t like this poem?
- Yes, I do. What is the title?
- This poem is called Wildness.
- Wild it is! (giggle)
- You’re funny… I love you so much, Hanna. What would you say if we went for a walk in the woods tomorrow? The leaves take their colors and begin to fall. The landscape is beautiful.
- With pleasure, Carmilla. But before we leave, I would like to receive one last kiss. Close the door, please.
- Aren’t you afraid we’ll be heard?
- Don’t worry. My father’s room is at the west end of the manor wing. As for the rooms of Madame Perrodon and Mademoiselle De Lafontaine, they are at the other end. And our two servants are staying upstairs.
- All right. Let’s go for a kiss. That’s it?
- Maybe a little bit more, if you’re not too tired. My tongue is already hungry with yours. And so is my little secret garden. He told me earlier.
- The air smells delicious this morning, don’t you think, Fumiko? It’s a pity that the cherry blossom has passed.
- Asuka!
- Yes, Fumiko?
- I know it sounds silly. But I’m pretty sure I saw a woman who looked like me sitting on a bench reading to a fox sitting at her feet. And the fox seemed to listen to her with the greatest attention. Then this vision disappeared, as if by magic.
- (giggle) I think you’re becoming vain, Fumiko. You’re starting to see yourself everywhere. It must have been another lady in the company of a cat. You know we have a few in the palace. And the sun will have distorted your vision. Am I not right?
- Yes, probably, Asuka… Now, close your eyes.
- Why?
- I want to surprise you… Here!
- Oh! A handful of leaves for me? How’s thoughtful. Handful of leaves. The gold of the poets.
- Don’t mock me, Asuka.
- I’m not mocking you, Fumiko. Your sole presence is such a gift for me. Since you’re here, I feel like I’ve just been reborn. I have a name for you.
- But I already have a name, Asuka. What is this new name you choosed for me?
- Joy!
- Hum? What did you say, Hanna?
Joy is the name I found for you.
- But I have already a name, Hanna.
- Yes, I know, Carmilla. But I find this name more convenient for you.
- Thank you very much, Hanna. What a delicate attention. I am very touched. And why Joy?
- Joy is a name that an English poet, painter and engraver I like very much, William Blake, gave to his daughter a few days after her birth. The poem is called The Infant Joy. I brought my book in my basket. Do you want to hear it?
- With pleasure. Please do.
`I have no name:
I am but two days old.’
What shall I call thee?
`I happy am,
Joy is my name.’
Sweet joy befall thee!
Pretty joy!
Sweet joy but two days old,
Sweet joy I oall thee:
Thou dost smile,
I sing the while
Sweet joy befall thee.
- What a lovely poem! I almost have tears in my eyes. Thank you so much, Hanna. Here’s. For you, Milady.
- A handful of leaves? What a lovely present, Carmilla. Thank you.
- Golden leaves. The gold of the poets. Such a lovely poet. My lips are dying to meet these lips that have just offered me such a refined pleasure. Come closer, Hanna. I have a special present for you, too. You have such a beautiful neck. I can feel life pouring into it. I’ll create a special bond between you and me. It will hurt a little bit at first. But don’t worry. Stay calm.
- Huuuuuuuh! Carmilla, what are you doing?
- There. We are forever connected, now. Do you like cats, Hanna?
- Yes, I do. We had a cat, some years ago. But, unfortunately, we lost him because of his age. My father has not adopted another since. Why are you asking that?
- Because I can’t always be at your sides as I am. Sometimes, I’ll become a big black cat, to fulfill all your fantasies, your dreams. I’m woven with dreams, Hanna. Remember?
- Now, you’re mocking me again, Carmilla!
- Not at all, Hanna. But if you want to take it that way, so be it.
- It’s funny you should mention a big black cat. Because, a few years ago, I dreamed a few times that a big black cat came to visit me in my room, during the night. He came to lie next to me. Then, he grew bigger and bigger, while changing shape. And that’s when he took on the form of a wonderfully beautiful woman, who looked very much like you. And this woman, silent, smiled tenderly at me, while caressing me. Then she mysteriously melted into my bed until she disappeared completely.
- You see? Our destinies were ripe to cross. Now, let’s go home. It’s getting late. Your father must be starting to worry. I advise you to put on your scarf. The weather is getting chilly.
- Miss Hanna! Miss carmilla! Finally!
- What is it, Madam Perrodon?
- Please, forgive me. But, Miss carmilla, Hanna’s father wants to see his daughter alone.
- I understand perfectly well, Madam Perrodon. I’ll go to my room.
- Princess Asuka! Fumiko! I am so relieved that you have finally returned! Princess, your father asks to see you alone. He says this is a matter of the utmost importance.
- That’s good, Irigawa. I’m going to see my father right now.
- With your permission, princess, I will retire to my chamber.
- You may go, Fumiko.
- Father! What is this nonsense?
- You know General Spielsdorf, don’t you? The general is a dear old friend of mine. And you also know that this man has always had the interests of our family at heart. As you know, the general is a calm and rational man. A few days ago, he came to see me, while you and Carmilla were out for a walk. He only stayed a few hours and asked me to keep his visit secret. You also know that in the past few months, a few young women have left us, under rather mysterious circumstances.
According to the general, and supporting evidence, it seems that these premature departures have a link with Carmilla. In fact, Carmilla is only an anagram of Millarca or, in her real name, of Princess Mircalla, of the Karnstein family, who left our world in 1598. This old family, now extinct for a century and a half, has always had a sulphurous reputation behind her. To survive, Carmilla needs to feed off young women like you. I know you’re very fond of Carmilla. However, given the situation, I must intervene as soon as possible, before anything happens to you.
- What do you mean by that, father?
- It is my duty to rid this world of the presence of this creature forever.
- Father! Have you lost your mind?
- I admit that would be a blessing. Unfortunately, the facts leave me little room to manoeuvre. Your life and happiness matter to me more than anything in the world. I must act… Hanna, don’t go!
- Father, Dame Irigawa tell me you wanted to see me?
- Indeed, Asuka. I have a matter of the utmost importance that I wish to discuss with you. You know that, like the other daimyos, I swore allegiance to the shogun. A few days ago, one of his emissaries came to see me. The son of Onmyōji Abe no Seimei seeks a wife. And the Onmyōji has the full attention of the shogun.
- But, father, you introduced me to the Onmyōji and his son, there’s two years ago. You know I don’t like them, nor the Onmyōji nor his son.
- Yes, I know, Asuka. But I remind you that the shogun holds in very high esteem the Onmyōji. His predictions and divinations have allowed military victories to the shogun many times. A few weeks ago, the son of Onmyōji proposed to you and told the shogun. Although this decision breaks my heart, I cannot afford to counter the Shogun’s desire and to antagonize the other daimyos. Although I am deeply saddened by this decision, I had no choice but to accept the request of our shogun’s emissary.
- Father, You can’t…
- Asuka. You’re a princess and you’re perfectly aware that the interests of our family and our nation outweigh our feelings… Asuka! Come back!
- Hanna! What’s the matter? You’re so pale. Please, sit down and tell me what’s wrong.
- Carmilla! My father told me horrible things about you. He told me that you were feeding off young women to survive.
- But it’s completely preposterous, Hanna! You know I love you. Our destinies are tied together.
- Yes, I know, Carmilla. I love you, too. I’m not supposed to tell you. But flee! Go away, before my father and general Spielsdorf, a friend of him, find you and get rid of you.
- Dame Irigawa? But what are you doing in our monastery at such a late hour? It is only you and your two servants? Forgive me if I appear insolent. But you could easily be attacked by brigands along the way. That’s very reckless of you. Don’t stay outside. come in.
- Thank you, monk Kūkai. I made offerings to the deities so they keep me safe along the way. It must be believed that they appreciated them.
- You must be exhausted. I will boil you tea and cook you rice and yam, for you and your servants.
- I’ll settle for a cup of tea. You know what happened to Princess Asuka.
- Alas, yes! Our poor princess could not bear the thought of marrying a man she did not love. Taken in despair, she threw herself into the lake Kasumigaura. Our poor Fumiko remained inconsolable. What happened to her?
- The daimyo, because of the rumours that were beginning to circulate in the palace about her relationship with Princess Asuka, sent her to a faithful friend, another daimyo, in the utmost secrecy, so that he would take care of her and ensure her a comfortable life. But let us come to the purpose of my visit. I have brought you all of Fumiko’s poems, so that you may take great care of them. As you will see, many of these poems relate, even without naming her, in a rather explicit way, the relationship that Fumiko had with Princess Asuka.
- But why didn’t Fumiko bring her writings with her when she left Princess Asuka’s palace?
- In my opinion, it’s probably because the separation from Princess Asuka was too painful for Fumiko. And that the numerous poems which are the proof of this idyllic period of her life became so many cr**ue**l reminders of this separation. If I keep these documents in the palace of the daimyo, I fear that they will eventually disappear, because of the aura of scandal that surrounds them, and be destroyed. Of course, I ask you to keep the biggest secret about my visit to your monastery. The two servants with me have my full confidence. They will say nothing.
- I understand. I’ll have Master Takuan ask for it.
- I heard it all.
- Master Takuan! I didn’t notice you were there. Please forgive me.
- It doesn’t matter, Kūkai.
- Dame Irigawa, we are honored by your presence in our monastery. I know that the request I am going to make may seem inappropriate, taking into account the circumstances. But, may I ask you to read us some poems of our Fumiko, to the monks of this monastery as well as to myself?
- Of course, Master Takuan. Although I have relatively little time, I can read you some of her poems.
- If you will follow me to the inner courtyard, I will ask the monks to plant stakes and attach ropes to them, so that they can hang lanterns.
- I follow you, Master Takuan.
-Kūkai, ask the other monks to sit in a circle around Dame Irigawa.
- Everything will be done according to your wishes, Master Takuan.
- It has been several years since Dame Irigawa came to visit us at the monastery. Here is the story that I, Master Kūkai, feel obliged to tell. Our venerable Master Takuan has long since left us. According to his dearest wishes, and with the agreement of the other monks, I have been appointed to succeed him at the head of our monastery.
Late in the evening, when all the monks were sitting in a circle around Dame Irigawa and our master was standing a bit back, hands clasped together one above the other in front of him, the main confidante of our beloved Fumiko amazed us at the reading of some of her poems. Throughout the reading made by Dame Irigawa, the monks were in turn delighted, secretly titillated (I saw it in the expression of their faces), amused, ecstatic, moved to tears. Even our good master Takuan, who was so reserved in temperament, could not help shedding a few tears.
Suddenly, heavy rain fell on the assembly. However, no cloud darkened the starry sky that evening. Evidently, before this phenomenon as sudden as unexplained, all rushed into the temple. The next day, when Dame Irigawa and her two servants returned to the temple of the daimyo, Master Takuan explained to me that, according to him, this miraculous rain was the fruit of Benzaiten, goddess of knowledge, art and beauty, eloquence, music, literature, arts and sciences, virtue and wisdom, prosperity and longevity. She is one of the Seven Divinities of Happiness. Still according to my master, the goddess Benzaiten had to be so moved at the sight of so much eloquence, at the reading of Fumiko’s poems by Lady Irigawa, that she too cannot help but shed tears of joy and sadness at the same time.
And miraculous was this rain, indeed. The next morning, a cherry tree began to come out of the ground at the exact spot where Dame Irigawa was reading. Day after day, this cherry tree grew to a mature tree in just a few weeks. Once its growth is complete, buds bloom flowers with such a sweet and delicate fragrance that it immediately became the object of deep and sincere veneration of the entire monastic community. And never before has a cherry tree offered such beautiful and succulent fruits.
Now I have to tell you some strange stories that have come to me about the tragic disappearance of Princess Asuka and Fumiko’s departure from the palace. At the outset, I want to make it clear that I am in no way questioning the account of the facts made to me by Dame Irigawa. If the version of Dame Irigawa’s facts seems to me the most likely, other versions, equally interesting to me, have been reported to me from sources of variable reliability.
First of all, let me tell you what was said to me about Princess Asuka. According to Lady Irigawa, Princess Asuka was last seen in the direction of lake Kasumigaura. However, it seems that none of the peasants and fishermen who saw her were able to testify with certainty that it was indeed the princess, given the distance between them. Moreover, the body of the princess could never be rescued. Other accounts state that Princess Asuka would have been seen in the direction of the daimyo temple where her father allegedly sent Fumiko.
Another story, which was brought to me by a monk from another monastery, located not far from the temple where Fumiko found refuge, who was aware of the tragedy surrounding the fate of Princess Asuka and Fumiko, told me that the fox-goddess Inari, having taken pity on Princess Asuka, had turned her into a supernatural fox or kitsune. One morning, while Fumiko was taking a walk in the palace garden, she suddenly saw at her feet a fox all molded, looking at her with a suppliant air. Everyone wondered how this fox had broken into the palace. With affection for this a****l with a silky and magnificent coat, Fumiko asked the daimyo for permission to adopt it, authorization which was immediately granted to her.
Later, legends tell that the ladies of the court sometimes saw Fumiko in the company of a strange and beautiful woman, while she was taking her walks in the evening, in the garden. Also, it is said that, some nights, ladies of the court heard noises of conversation as well as laughter in Fumiko’s room, in the evening, while she was supposed to be alone, in the company of her fox. And it was not uncommon for sighs and moans of pleasure to be heard by anyone passing by Fumiko’s room late at night. From then on, Fumiko and her fox, because it was a female, became inseparable. It seems that Fumiko even read her poems to her in the garden during the day, when they were alone, and that the fox seemed to understand with delight all that Fumiko read to her.
The years passed, without the fox seems to show the slightest sign of aging. Then Fumiko ends up leaving this world in her turn. Curiously, no one saw the fox again after Fumiko’s departure. Another legend says that a peasant, returning late in the evening from a village next to his, where he had gone to help his brother to repair the roof of his house, after a frost, would have seen, by far, in the light of the full moon, a young woman accompanied by a fox, near the lake Kasumigaura. The peasant thought it strange that a young woman and a fox were walking by the lake, on such a cold evening, in the middle of winter. The woman and the fox seemed to be having fun chasing each other. However, after passing behind a bush, the peasant saw with amazement not a woman and a fox, but rather two young women, laughing and frolicking, sometimes holding hands, sometimes running one after the other.
Intrigued by this vision, the peasant decided to return, the next morning, to the place where this strange apparition occurred. To his astonishment, he saw, in the snow still fresh, what resembled the footsteps of a young woman and a fox, those steps transforming, a little further, into those of two young women. Then these footsteps dissolved in the snow, as if by magic. And, strange as it may seem, this same peasant claims to have smelled an exquisite perfume of cherry blossom on the place where the appearance of the eve had occurred, when there were no cherry trees there and it was obviously not the season for cherry blossoms. When the peasant returned to the place a few hours later, accompanied by other villagers, to show them what he had seen, the wind had unfortunately erased all traces of footsteps in the snow.
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow —
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand —
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep — while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
- A Dream Within a Dream. I love so much this poem by Edgar Allan Poe. It seems that Poe wrote this poem the same year of his de**at**h, in 1849, anticipating his imminent departure and going through a serious existential crisis. So many years have passed since I met you, Carmilla. Carmilla, Mircalla, Millarca. Never mind your real name! I love you so much.
Since I told you the terrible news that my father, may he rest in peace, has told me about you, you have listened to me wisely. A few days after you left our house, my father told me that he and General Spielsdorf had managed to get rid of you, according to the rituals provided for this purpose. Personally, I don’t believe that. You never get rid of a vampire, at least not completely. You never leave me. Isn’t that right, Carmilla? Hmm? What did you say? Puuuuuurrrr? Yes, I know. You’re looking forward to coming home too. To me, you’ll always be a lovely big black ball of hair and purring love. I, too, look forward to snuggling up against you and receiving your caresses, once we’re in bed. A little more patience. Normally, you should be in a cage. But the train crew knows you’re a good cat, aren’t you?
And I love you so much, Fumiko, my sweet, lovely disciple of Erato. More than you can imagine. Whenever I am away from home for a while, I always bring the precious copy of your poems that Lord Jack Cummings so generously gave to my father, The Divine Tears of Passion. Monk Kūkai could not have found a better title in the collection of your poems which he has so carefully compiled. May joy and love be your most faithful companions forever, wherever you go and whatever you do.
I think back to everything we’ve been through together over the years. Not to mention, of course, this delicious poem by Edgar Allan Poe, which I love. When my father left us, I inherited a comfortable heritage. I never got married. And as a matter of convenience, I even managed to change my name. From Hanna Molineaux, I became Hanna Traum. It’s funny because Traum, who was my mother’s maiden name, which I would never have had the pleasure of knowing and cherishing, means, in German language, 'dream’, in English. After all, aren’t we woven from the threads of our dreams?
I think the train is approaching the station, now. I’m going to put my scarf back on. To silence the curious people, who often wonder where the two marks on my neck come from. I always tell them they’re birthmarks. Many people would laugh to read everything I have just written. For them, all these stories and legends would be nothing but gibberish and nonsense. They’re probably right. Today, we’re Sunday night. I still have a few details to work out for the literature class I’m going to give tomorrow. Even if this topic is not directly related to the usual subjects of my classes, I think I will tell my students a little about the predominant place of the fox in many mythologies and oriental popular cultures, including, of course, those of Japan. I’m getting tired now. I’m gonna shut down my laptop.
* I know that some readers, like me, are non-English speakers (hello, Laurent!). Until the nineteenth century, it was common for many poets, William Wordsworth, William Blake, Percy Bysshe Shelley, just to name a few, to use words and turns of phrases borrowed from the old English, especially that of the Renaissance, which is not easy to understand and, believe me, I know something about it! So, here’s a translation I found, in French, of the wonderful poem by English poet and artist William Blake (1757-1827), Infant Joy, which I quoted in my (not so) short story:
JOIE D’ENFANT
« Je n’ai pas de nom,
Je n’ai que deux jours. »
Comment t’appellerai-je ?
« Je suis heureux,
Je m’appelle Joie. »
Que douce joie te vienne !
Gentille joie !
Douce joie de deux jours,
Je te nomme Joie douce.
Tu souris
Pendant que je chante.
Que douce joie te vienne !
As English is not my mother tongue, I have done my best to translate my thoughts so that they can be easily understood by the reader. I therefore pray that the latter will indulge in errors of meaning, grammar or spelling which he will encounter almost inevitably. Also, I referred, in my writing, to some characters who really existed. These characters lived at very different times from each other. So, logically, they never met each other. Furthermore, their life has absolutely nothing to do with what is described in my short novel. It goes without saying that this text is pure fiction. Readers concerned with historical accuracy will therefore have only to ignore the many anachronisms they will find as they read.
*Warning: Readers in a hurry will be disappointed. As you can notice, this writing is not exactly a «O.K., Mary. Now, lie down there and spread your legs» story. I know that this story does not quite fit with the standard stories found on the XHamster website. Nevertheless, I hope you will still like it. If that is the case, I would appreciate it if you would leave me a kind note in the comments section. If, however, this story is nothing else for you but a sweet crap sandwich, please don’t say anything. I say it without false shame, I have sensitive skin.
I don’t know if
you came to me or me to you.
Or if it was reality or a dream,
sleep or awakening.
I am lost in the darkness
of a broken heart.
Dream or reality,
let it be decided tonight.
Neil Gaiman
The Dream Hunters 1
In Sandman
Diary of Hanna T.
After several years of reflection and questioning, I decided to tell the story of my meeting with a very strange young woman. The story I’m telling you took place in the fall of 1872. At the time, I lived with my widowed father, my mother having been through puerperal fever. After a distinguished military career with the Austrian Consular Administration, my father, of English origin, had inherited a small country manor house, or schloss, in German language, in Styria, when he retired. This country manor was abandoned for many years. But the Austro-Hungarian State has refurbished it, in order to make it habitable again. Also, my father was entitled to a very comfortable life annuity, as a result of his many exceptional services to the Empire.
For those who do not know, Styria is a province located in the south of Austria, on the border with Hungary, whose county town is Graz. The landscape that surrounded our home consisted of a dense forest, pierced here and there by some clearings. An old winding road meanders to our manor. Nearby was a pond, on which floated water lilies and flowed gracefully swans with majestic plumage. I loved strolling near this pond, especially on sunny afternoons, often with a book of poetry in hand.
Having lost my mother very young, my father had hired two ladies of great kindness and extremely generous. First, there is my nanny, Madame Perrodon, a native of Berne, Switzerland, who has always been able to compensate for the loss of my poor mother. Then there was a private tutor, Mademoiselle De Lafontaine. Mademoiselle De Lafontaine was fluent in French and German. Madame Perrodon, for her part, spoke French and broken English. Needless to say, our household was often a joyful Tower of Babel, which often made us laugh! Also, we had a butler and a groom assigned to the maintenance of our small estate and the welfare of our horses. Our property being located in a rather isolated area, apart from the few visits of our «neighbours», they remaining five or six leagues, or fifteen or eighteen miles away, the life we led was rather solitary. Fortunately, my father had a fairly well-stocked library, which allowed me to escape from our monotonous rhythm of life. To me, this library has always had the aura of a treasure cave. The result of my father’s boundless curiosity and eclectic taste, this library contained books on science, philosophy, history and politics (no wonder, given my father’s brilliant career in diplomatic circles!) as well as art and literature.
On one of these afternoons, while I was sitting, leaning against an alder, reading, I suddenly heard the crashing noise of a hitch which, according to the direction of the sound, must have had an accident while crossing the drawbridge that gives our property. Alarmed by this sudden noise, I rushed to the drawbridge, not knowing what to expect. Arriving at the scene of the accident, I saw my father walking fast, accompanied by the two ladies and the two men of service of our household.
When we reached the bridge, we saw a stopped team, the coach having visibly struck the stone pa****t. The coachman and another man were helping to get the occupants out of the convoy. First of all, a lady, in her fifties, got out of the carriage, helped by the two men. According to her clothes, she seemed to come from high Austrian society. She seemed a little shaken, but without any visible signs of injury. The man who accompanied the coachman, dressed in black and with a livid pallor, spoke with the lady, while the coachman helped another person out of the carriage. It was a young woman, dressed in a black taffeta dress and wearing a wide-brimmed hat. Her face was partially covered with a veil of the same colour as her dress. Of medium size and of a thin size, she seemed still under the shock of the jerk of the chariot. Reaching her height, I could distinguish, through her veil, a face of exquisite beauty. While my father, Madame Perrodon, and Mademoiselle De Lafontaine were conversing with the older lady and the man in black accompanying her, I naturally lent my help to the young woman. Leaving the coachman and the mysterious man to take care of the horses and check the condition of the carriage, we took the way to the manor, in order to comfort the two ladies.
- Come in, please, says my father to the two ladies. Madame Perrodon will make you some tea. Let’s go to the living room, if you please. We’ll be more comfortable.
Once settled in the salon, the older lady spoke.
- Excuse me, sir. With all due respect, could I ask you to pull the curtains a little bit? My niece has always shown great sensitivity to sunlight. And I fear the shock we’ve just been through has not helped much.
- I understand perfectly, Madam. I will deal with it immediately.
- You’re very kind, sir.
It was then that the niece took off her hat and her veil, discovering, as I said, a face of a pale milk, but of a magnificent beauty. Her hair was jet black. And her eyes, dark brown, gave off a magnetism that I could hardly resist. Immediately, she gave me a smile, revealing a dentition of an immaculate whiteness, so natural, so full of charm, that I almost blushed.
- Oh, there’s Madame Perrodon with the tea. But forgive me. I still haven’t introduced myself. I’m Lord Molineaux. And this is my daughter, Hanna.
- Molineaux, says the older lady. Are you of French origin, sir?
- Not exactly, Madam. I am of English origin. However, my ancestors belonged to the small Norman nobility. Following the edict of Fontainebleau, signed by the King of France Louis XIV, on October 18, 1685, revoked the edict of Nantes by which Henry IV, in 1598, had granted a certain freedom of worship to the Protestants of the kingdom. That is why almost 200,000 French Protestants, or Huguenots, fled to Prussia, especially those of the Lutheran faith, some in the United Provinces, Switzerland and sometimes their colonies such as America or the Cape Colony, in South Africa, while others, such as my ancestors, emigrated to England and Ireland.
- I am delighted to meet a character of such an illustrious lineage, Lord Molineaux. My niece and I love France. Without forgetting England, of course. For my part, without wanting to be discourteous, I prefer to keep my identity secret. This is my niece, Carmilla. During this unfortunate incident on your property, we were rushing to Graz. The path being very winding in this region, my coachman did not negotiate a curve properly, with the result you see. I have some very urgent business to attend to in this city. These obligations will easily take me a month, maybe a little bit more. You see, my niece is rather fragile in constitution. And I believe that this trip and the incident that has just occurred has made her more weakened than I anticipated. You see me in the greatest embarrassment, sir. May I ask you a favor?
- Please do, Madam. If I can be of any use to you, I’d be delighted.
- I would be most grateful if you would take care of my niece while I settle the matters I have spoken of. Of course, I will do everything in my power to conclude this matter as soon as possible. Since the presence of my niece is not essential, it will be much easier for me to fulfill my obligations once I return to Graz. And I’ll pick up Carmilla when I get home. I know that with a family as honourable as yours, I can pursue my business with peace of mind.
- It is with great pleasure that I grant your request, Madam. Moreover, I am sure that your charming niece, Carmilla, will become an ideal companion for my daughter, Hanna. It must be said that we live a life of seclusion here. And nothing can replace a friendly presence. Especially since my daughter and your niece look about the same age.
- I don’t know how to thank you, Sir. My gratitude goes out to you.
While the Lord and Madame were talking, the man in black burst into the drawing-room and, after a short bow, beckoned the lady to come and join him.
- Please, excuse me, sir. My counselor’s asking for me.
- Please do, Madam.
After a few minutes of quiet discussion, the lady returned to Lord Molineaux.
- Excuse me, sir. But I’m going to have to take my leave right now. I have been told that the team is ready and that we should leave now, if we want to enjoy the rest of the day.
- Madam, I assure you, on my honour as a gentleman, that your niece will be perfectly safe in this household.
With a smile, the lady left the place, accompanied by the man in black. My father, me and Carmilla escorted them to the carriage. When she arrived at the carriage, the lady addressed a few words to her niece, so that the others could not hear their words. After another brief greeting from both sides, the convoy left the property.
- Let’s go home now, says my father. It’s getting cold. Hanna, I’ll leave it to you to introduce her to our guest. I’d appreciate it if you could help her unpack, if you don’t mind. Carl took them up while we were talking.
- With great pleasure, Father. Come on, follow me, Carmilla. I really look forward to getting to know you better.
Arriving at the room my father had booked for Carmilla, barely suppressing my curiosity, I hastened to help our guest unpack. In a trunk, hidden in a pile of clothes, I discovered some literature. One of these books immediately caught my attention.
- Tears of the Divine Passion, by Fumiko-ho.
- What did you say, Hanna?
- This is the title of the book I just found in your trunk. Who is this Fumiko-ho?
- Ah! This book. It’s one of my favorites. Fumiko-Lo was a Japanese poet, one of the greatest and underrated, in my opinion, under the Edo era.
What is the Edo era?
- Edo period was a long and important period in the history of Japan. It lasted more than two and a half centuries, from 1603 to 1867. In short, this entire period was placed under the reign of the Tokugawa Shogunate. Although the country is still ruled by an emperor, in reality, it was the shogun who held the real political, economic and military power in that country.
- It’s amazing to see a young woman know so much about such a distant country!
- Let’s say that, like you, I live long periods of solitude. And books have often been my most faithful companions. Also, as with your father, my family has been in contact with many personalities from different backgrounds. That is why I became interested in subjects that many Europeans know little or no about. But you seem to be interested in Fumiko.
- Yes, indeed. What is this book?
- It is a collection of poems by Fumiko, gathered after her departure, by a monk, Kūkai. It was he who gave this somewhat enigmatic title to this collection.
- I’m more and more interested in that. I’d like to learn more about Fumiko.
- I admit that Fumiko’s life has a lot of mystery. In fact, much of her life is more or less filled with legends. And that’s what makes it so fascinating, no doubt.
- Tell! I love legends. Reality is often quite boring like this.
- If you will. Fumiko-Lo lived, according to some, around the second period of the s*******nth beginning of the eighteenth century. She would come from a modest environment. From a very young age, her parents as well as her teachers at the communal school, quickly noticed her exceptional talents for writing and notably poetry. On the recommendation of one of them, Fumiko was taken to a monastic convent to further her education. This monastery was run by a scholar, as wise as he was kind, the monk Takuan Sôho, said the indomitable spirit. Over the years, Fumiko learned the art of calligraphy, philosophy and perfected her poetic art to the point of outperforming some monks, though older than her. However, there was never the slightest envy of anyone. Growing up, Fumiko aroused the admiration of all the monks, including Master Takuan Sôho.
One fine day, a lady from the court of the daimyo, or local governor, came to the temple, to bring some offerings to the monks and to win the good graces of the gods. Dame Irigawa, for that was her name, witnessed the praise of which Fumiko was the object, not to mention her great beauty. Now, precisely, the daimyo was in search of a new lady of company for his daughter, one of them having left the palace, having been chosen by the shogun to marry one of his sons. Upon the announcement of this news, Master Takuan immediately proposed his protégée. Thus, Fumiko began a new life. As at the monastery, Fumiko soon aroused a lively pleasure from the court of the daimyo, especially for her poetic talents and her beauty.
- I’d like you to read me one of Fumiko’s poems, Carmilla.
- With great pleasure, Hanna. Please, give me the book, that I choose one. Before I read you some of her poems, I must tell you that almost all of Fumiko’s poems exalt the feeling of love. They are sometimes sad. But also filled with passion and tenderness for an unknown lover. This collection is a bilingual copy, translated into German and English by a great English philologist, Lord Jack Cummings. Lord Cummings was one of the most brilliant students of the renowned Professor Hesselius, a leading Austrian scholar of Japanese culture and language. Ah! Here’s one that I really like. It’s called How not to Love You:
How not to love you
If my skin is your skin
If my fingers recognize
The heat of your body;
The curve of your ear
And the subtlety of your mouth.
How not to love you
If I ramble at every moment
With the texture of your back
With the beauty of your chest,
With the murmur of our bodies…
… How can I not love you?
Light of my soul
If you are the reason
Of my sleepless nights
If you are the reason
Of my dreams.
- Irigawa! You know I don’t like people reading my poems out loud over my shoulder while I’m writing.
- Please, forgive me, Fumiko. You know how much I like to tease you. This faith is a very special reason that brings me to you. Princess Asuka asks you. She’s in her bath right now.
- What? Irigawa! You try to fool me again. It’s not funny.
- Not at all, Fumiko. You know perfectly well that I would never joke about Princess Asuka. Go and see her. She is looking forward to you. And she asked you to read her some of your lovely poems. Hurry! It would be very wrong to keep the princess waiting.
- Forgive me, Princess Asuka. But Dame Irigawa told me you wanted to see me, so I could read you some of my poems. But I see you haven’t finished taking your bath. I can leave you with your servants and come back a little later, if you wish.
- Come in, Fumiko. You’re not bothering me at all. Sit by the basin. I have had the pleasure of watching you a few times. I am convinced that the grace of your poetry equals your delicate beauty.
- Your Majesty gives me far too much honour, an honour I probably do not deserve.
- On the contrary, Fumiko. I know what I’m saying very well. And I’m not used to complimenting lightly. I’ve arranged a tatami, where you can kneel comfortably to read to me.
- First of all, I chose a poem I wrote a few months ago. It’s called The Rain.
The leaves of our tree tremble
before the majestic wandering of the wind
and the pollen of the flowers in concert
adorn the pen where they rock you.
The jealous rain has appeared
he goes and calls his friend the hurricane
in a new idyll they will transform
ecstasy of a wet pistil.
Like your body honey dew
he unburdens himself before the deep cove
that makes the pores of your skin pop.
Passionate woman delivery
she radiates with passion to the tinsel
and she is wild and tender and in love.
- Clearly, the ladies of the court have not exaggerated about your gifts for poetry, Fumiko. That’ll be all for tonight. I’d like to talk to Fumiko alone. Come on, Fumiko. You can leave your poems on the tatami. I wouldn’t want you to get your scrolls wet. Finally, I want to take a closer look at the woman who has intoxicated me with so much beauty and emotion. I would like you to help me finish taking my bath. You can undress and tie a towel around your waist. Take the sponge and rub my back. Don’t be shy. Sit on the steps of the basin behind me. You’ll be more comfortable. The water is good.
- At your command, your Highness.
- And don’t call me princess or your Highness anymore. From now on, between us, just call me by my name, Asuka.
- Your Highness? Are you sure?
- Yes, Fumiko.
- If that is your will, so be it.
- This is my will, Fumiko.
- Asuka, I’m not used to giving baths. I’m afraid I’m rather clumsy.
- Don’t worry, Fumiko. I’ll guide your movements.
- You’re very good, Fumiko. Put the sponge down and carry on with your hands.
- Your hands are very soft. They have the delicacy of your poems. Rub my shoulders so I can put my head on them. Tell me, Fumiko, do you like lotus flowers?
- Like the ones we see in front of us right now?
- Exactly. I love lotus flowers. They are so beautiful, in their femininity. They are like an offering to Heaven, permanently. Let me take your hands. I want to taste some of their sweetness.
- You High… Euh, forgive me, Asuka.
- Be calm, Fumiko. you know I won’t hurt you. They taste so good. Approach your face to mine, now that I can savor the source of so much beauty. Your hair is beautiful, Fumiko. It’s like a black silk d****. And I can smell your breath now. It smells like the first cherries we pick in the spring. Now, close your eyes and let yourself be. I want to soak up every word you say. Open your mouth a little so I can meet this tongue, which gives life and body to all the jewels you write.
- Hanna! Were you dreaming? You looked like you were asleep.
- Oh! forgive me, Carmilla. I wasn’t sleeping.
- I have an idea. What would you say if we went swimming at the pond, close to your home?
- But, Carmilla, it will be dark soon. Don’t you think it unwise to go swimming at such a late hour? Moreover, it is autumn. The water in the pond should start to be cold.
- Don’t be afraid. I’m used to it. It’s going to be a full moon night. We’ll just bring a lantern and some towels. And I promise you, with me, you won’t be cold. I promise we won’t stay too long. We’ll just have to tell your father we’re going for a walk in the garden.
- If you say so, I agreed. I must say that we’ve had a lot of hot, sunny days lately. So, the water shouldn’t be too cold.
- Let us undress here. Come on, Hanna. Don’t be timid! There are only the two of us here. No one will see us. Hang the lantern on that branch. Let me go first. Come join me! It’s like I told you. The water is good. Give me your hand.
- You were right. The water is not too cold. And the moon is so bright, tonight.
- Let say that it will be our sun. Your body is so magnificent, Hanna. Come on. I would like to give you a moon bath.
- But I took my bath this morning, Carmilla!
- I have no doubt about it, Hanna. It doesn’t matter. You smell very good. I like your perfume. What is it, by the way? Let say that this night, you will be my princess and me your obedient servant. Please, Milady, let me help you to take your usual moon bath.
- Don’t be silly, Carmilla. It’s not exactly a perfume. It’s an eau de toilette. Glycerin. But now we’re in the water, the scent will dissipate quickly enough.
- Turn around and I’ll rub your back. Your skin is as clear as an opal. And so soft. It looks like silk. Don’t be nervous. I’ll take it easy. I’m going to stick with you. Close your eyes. I love the lapping of water running down your body, Hanna. Now, put your head on my shoulder. you’ll be more comfortable. Your hair are so soft, like your skin. Did your classmates tell you that?
- Carmilla! What is this nonsense? It was Mademoiselle De Lafontaine who educated me, since I was a little girl. Also, classmates, especially of the same gender, do not use such language.
- Ha-ha! Don’t be upset. As I said, you’re so beautiful, Hanna. With such a body, I would be glad to be your humble servant… and your lover.
- Carmilla! Now, you mock me again. You know perfectly well that such things are against nature.
- Not against nature, Hanna. Men made the rules, from millennials, at their sole advantage. What do we know about nature? Let say that tonight, we’ll make our own rules.
Once again, you have a beautiful body, Hanna. How can we resist such a treasure? I love your breasts. They look so firm and appetizing. Can I touch them? Don’t worry. I’ll take it easy. Hanna! Your nipples are starting to harden! Now, close your eyes and let me do. Your breath is getting faster and faster. So, you like my caresses. Please, my lovely princess, let me honor such wonders as it should be. I think I’ll let my lips guide me.
- Huuuuuh! Carmilla! What are you doing?
- I told you, Hanna. Don’t be afraid. I know what I am doing. I’m just sucking your lovely nipples. They are so tasty. I see there is another one. Now, let me continue. Oh! I notice your belly seems to want the same treatment.
- Aaaaaaahh! Carmilla! You’re making me lose my mind.
- Really? So, let my fingers get acquainted with the pretty bush between your thighs. Huuummmm! It’s so warm and wet.
- It’s normal. We’re in the water.
- I know that, silly. I didn’t refer to this kind of wetness. Give me your hand. I think my little cave needs the same treatment. I think my little rotations begin to make their effect. Now, let me kiss you again, before I go and explore what lies beneath that lovely bush you have between your thighs.
- Carmilla! Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
- I think I heard the laughter of two young women running in the bushes, near the shore.
- Perhaps it is Madame Perrodon and Mademoiselle de La Fontaine who had the same idea as us tonight and did not tell us about it to give us a little surprise. Ha-ha-ha!
- No, Carmilla. I’m serious!
- Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I forgot. (giggle) Seriously, it’s probably the wind. Or maybe it was the cry of two a****ls. Some birds calls can look like laughter from afar. Also, how can you imagine two women running among the bushes, in such a remote country, in full darkness, without the slightest source of light to guide them? They would have to have a lantern, as we do. Now, apart from our lantern, attached to a branch, and the moon, I see no other form of lighting. And even a full moon would be clearly insufficient for them to be able to locate themselves without stumbling in the vegetation or hit a tree.
- Yes. You’re probably right…
- Fumiko. You made me loose my mind!
- You too, Asuka.
- Now, help me dry out and get back to your room. I think we have some things to finish. Above all, be discreet. I don’t want to stir up gossips in court.
- I’ll be careful.
- You made me discover a universe I never dared to suspect, Carmilla. Now, I think we’d better go home, before my father, Madame Perrodon, Mademoiselle de La Fontaine and the servants worry.
- You’re right, Hanna. Let’s go home.
- Miss Hanna! Miss Carmilla! God bless us. We were beginning to worry about your absence. My goodness! You are all wet! Did you go swimming at the pond? What an idea, at this time of year and so late! I will not say anything about it to your father, Miss Hanna. He’ll think you’ve lost your mind. Come in quickly. I’ll get you some dry clothes. In the meantime, take a seat by the fireplace. At least it’ll warm you up.
- Thank you very much, Madam Perrodon. You’ve always been a mother hen to me. Come on, Carmilla. I’m getting a little cold.
- It’s so comforting to sit in front of a good fire. Don’t you think, Carmilla? Carmilla! You look thoughtful all of a sudden.
- Please, forgive me, Hanna. I was thinking about the poet I told you about, Fumiko. According to some accounts, it seems that Fumiko and Princess Asuka had special ties. Some say they were lovers. Some stories tell that Princess Asuka would join Fumiko every night in her room.
- But, didn’t the Princess’s companions notice anything?
- They probably knew about it. But, no doubt out of affection and solidarity for Fumiko and the princess Asuka, they kept silent.
- Your clothes are ready. They are waiting for you in your room. Don’t wait too long to change. Staying too long with wet clothes on your back is not very healthy.
- Thank you so much, Madam Perrodon. We’re going upstairs to change immediately. Are you coming, Carmilla? You can keep telling me about Fumiko. The more I learn about her, the more intrigued I become.
- I’m following you, Hanna. It’s getting kind of late.
- I’m getting tired too. However, before going to bed, I would like you to tell me a little more about Fumiko.
- If you want, Hanna. But just a little bit.
- Asuka? Don’t you think it’s a little risky coming to my room at this hour?
- Hushhhhhhhh! Not so loud, Fumiko. Were you asleep?
No. I was thinking about meeting you when you bathed.
So we find ourselves in the shadows with the light of hidden passions, with the trembling of the first few times and a repressed desire without measures.
Your eyes dilated on my breasts my breasts seducing your mouth, my mouth biting your lips, your teeth tearing off my clothes.
Your hands torturing my skin, your fingers exploring until I go crazy, my nails scratching your back, my sweat raining down on your chest like drops.
Your whispers, my moans, your heartbeats, my contortions, your tongue, my ear, your legs, my thighs...
… with my movements and my ride, y messy hair caresses your face.
you ... you gasp, intense, continuous, without pause.
I live you, I feel you, I breathe you.
The smell, the voices, the walls, we disappear together for a moment, when I return I find your body next to mine.
And I break the silences, I approach and say in your ear:
we repeat ??
- Hanna! You’re blushing!
- I’m sorry, Carmilla. I’m not used to listening poems, so, how should I say... daring.
- Don’t be sorry, Hanna. You have no idea how beautiful you look when you blush. You don’t like this poem?
- Yes, I do. What is the title?
- This poem is called Wildness.
- Wild it is! (giggle)
- You’re funny… I love you so much, Hanna. What would you say if we went for a walk in the woods tomorrow? The leaves take their colors and begin to fall. The landscape is beautiful.
- With pleasure, Carmilla. But before we leave, I would like to receive one last kiss. Close the door, please.
- Aren’t you afraid we’ll be heard?
- Don’t worry. My father’s room is at the west end of the manor wing. As for the rooms of Madame Perrodon and Mademoiselle De Lafontaine, they are at the other end. And our two servants are staying upstairs.
- All right. Let’s go for a kiss. That’s it?
- Maybe a little bit more, if you’re not too tired. My tongue is already hungry with yours. And so is my little secret garden. He told me earlier.
- The air smells delicious this morning, don’t you think, Fumiko? It’s a pity that the cherry blossom has passed.
- Asuka!
- Yes, Fumiko?
- I know it sounds silly. But I’m pretty sure I saw a woman who looked like me sitting on a bench reading to a fox sitting at her feet. And the fox seemed to listen to her with the greatest attention. Then this vision disappeared, as if by magic.
- (giggle) I think you’re becoming vain, Fumiko. You’re starting to see yourself everywhere. It must have been another lady in the company of a cat. You know we have a few in the palace. And the sun will have distorted your vision. Am I not right?
- Yes, probably, Asuka… Now, close your eyes.
- Why?
- I want to surprise you… Here!
- Oh! A handful of leaves for me? How’s thoughtful. Handful of leaves. The gold of the poets.
- Don’t mock me, Asuka.
- I’m not mocking you, Fumiko. Your sole presence is such a gift for me. Since you’re here, I feel like I’ve just been reborn. I have a name for you.
- But I already have a name, Asuka. What is this new name you choosed for me?
- Joy!
- Hum? What did you say, Hanna?
Joy is the name I found for you.
- But I have already a name, Hanna.
- Yes, I know, Carmilla. But I find this name more convenient for you.
- Thank you very much, Hanna. What a delicate attention. I am very touched. And why Joy?
- Joy is a name that an English poet, painter and engraver I like very much, William Blake, gave to his daughter a few days after her birth. The poem is called The Infant Joy. I brought my book in my basket. Do you want to hear it?
- With pleasure. Please do.
`I have no name:
I am but two days old.’
What shall I call thee?
`I happy am,
Joy is my name.’
Sweet joy befall thee!
Pretty joy!
Sweet joy but two days old,
Sweet joy I oall thee:
Thou dost smile,
I sing the while
Sweet joy befall thee.
- What a lovely poem! I almost have tears in my eyes. Thank you so much, Hanna. Here’s. For you, Milady.
- A handful of leaves? What a lovely present, Carmilla. Thank you.
- Golden leaves. The gold of the poets. Such a lovely poet. My lips are dying to meet these lips that have just offered me such a refined pleasure. Come closer, Hanna. I have a special present for you, too. You have such a beautiful neck. I can feel life pouring into it. I’ll create a special bond between you and me. It will hurt a little bit at first. But don’t worry. Stay calm.
- Huuuuuuuh! Carmilla, what are you doing?
- There. We are forever connected, now. Do you like cats, Hanna?
- Yes, I do. We had a cat, some years ago. But, unfortunately, we lost him because of his age. My father has not adopted another since. Why are you asking that?
- Because I can’t always be at your sides as I am. Sometimes, I’ll become a big black cat, to fulfill all your fantasies, your dreams. I’m woven with dreams, Hanna. Remember?
- Now, you’re mocking me again, Carmilla!
- Not at all, Hanna. But if you want to take it that way, so be it.
- It’s funny you should mention a big black cat. Because, a few years ago, I dreamed a few times that a big black cat came to visit me in my room, during the night. He came to lie next to me. Then, he grew bigger and bigger, while changing shape. And that’s when he took on the form of a wonderfully beautiful woman, who looked very much like you. And this woman, silent, smiled tenderly at me, while caressing me. Then she mysteriously melted into my bed until she disappeared completely.
- You see? Our destinies were ripe to cross. Now, let’s go home. It’s getting late. Your father must be starting to worry. I advise you to put on your scarf. The weather is getting chilly.
- Miss Hanna! Miss carmilla! Finally!
- What is it, Madam Perrodon?
- Please, forgive me. But, Miss carmilla, Hanna’s father wants to see his daughter alone.
- I understand perfectly well, Madam Perrodon. I’ll go to my room.
- Princess Asuka! Fumiko! I am so relieved that you have finally returned! Princess, your father asks to see you alone. He says this is a matter of the utmost importance.
- That’s good, Irigawa. I’m going to see my father right now.
- With your permission, princess, I will retire to my chamber.
- You may go, Fumiko.
- Father! What is this nonsense?
- You know General Spielsdorf, don’t you? The general is a dear old friend of mine. And you also know that this man has always had the interests of our family at heart. As you know, the general is a calm and rational man. A few days ago, he came to see me, while you and Carmilla were out for a walk. He only stayed a few hours and asked me to keep his visit secret. You also know that in the past few months, a few young women have left us, under rather mysterious circumstances.
According to the general, and supporting evidence, it seems that these premature departures have a link with Carmilla. In fact, Carmilla is only an anagram of Millarca or, in her real name, of Princess Mircalla, of the Karnstein family, who left our world in 1598. This old family, now extinct for a century and a half, has always had a sulphurous reputation behind her. To survive, Carmilla needs to feed off young women like you. I know you’re very fond of Carmilla. However, given the situation, I must intervene as soon as possible, before anything happens to you.
- What do you mean by that, father?
- It is my duty to rid this world of the presence of this creature forever.
- Father! Have you lost your mind?
- I admit that would be a blessing. Unfortunately, the facts leave me little room to manoeuvre. Your life and happiness matter to me more than anything in the world. I must act… Hanna, don’t go!
- Father, Dame Irigawa tell me you wanted to see me?
- Indeed, Asuka. I have a matter of the utmost importance that I wish to discuss with you. You know that, like the other daimyos, I swore allegiance to the shogun. A few days ago, one of his emissaries came to see me. The son of Onmyōji Abe no Seimei seeks a wife. And the Onmyōji has the full attention of the shogun.
- But, father, you introduced me to the Onmyōji and his son, there’s two years ago. You know I don’t like them, nor the Onmyōji nor his son.
- Yes, I know, Asuka. But I remind you that the shogun holds in very high esteem the Onmyōji. His predictions and divinations have allowed military victories to the shogun many times. A few weeks ago, the son of Onmyōji proposed to you and told the shogun. Although this decision breaks my heart, I cannot afford to counter the Shogun’s desire and to antagonize the other daimyos. Although I am deeply saddened by this decision, I had no choice but to accept the request of our shogun’s emissary.
- Father, You can’t…
- Asuka. You’re a princess and you’re perfectly aware that the interests of our family and our nation outweigh our feelings… Asuka! Come back!
- Hanna! What’s the matter? You’re so pale. Please, sit down and tell me what’s wrong.
- Carmilla! My father told me horrible things about you. He told me that you were feeding off young women to survive.
- But it’s completely preposterous, Hanna! You know I love you. Our destinies are tied together.
- Yes, I know, Carmilla. I love you, too. I’m not supposed to tell you. But flee! Go away, before my father and general Spielsdorf, a friend of him, find you and get rid of you.
- Dame Irigawa? But what are you doing in our monastery at such a late hour? It is only you and your two servants? Forgive me if I appear insolent. But you could easily be attacked by brigands along the way. That’s very reckless of you. Don’t stay outside. come in.
- Thank you, monk Kūkai. I made offerings to the deities so they keep me safe along the way. It must be believed that they appreciated them.
- You must be exhausted. I will boil you tea and cook you rice and yam, for you and your servants.
- I’ll settle for a cup of tea. You know what happened to Princess Asuka.
- Alas, yes! Our poor princess could not bear the thought of marrying a man she did not love. Taken in despair, she threw herself into the lake Kasumigaura. Our poor Fumiko remained inconsolable. What happened to her?
- The daimyo, because of the rumours that were beginning to circulate in the palace about her relationship with Princess Asuka, sent her to a faithful friend, another daimyo, in the utmost secrecy, so that he would take care of her and ensure her a comfortable life. But let us come to the purpose of my visit. I have brought you all of Fumiko’s poems, so that you may take great care of them. As you will see, many of these poems relate, even without naming her, in a rather explicit way, the relationship that Fumiko had with Princess Asuka.
- But why didn’t Fumiko bring her writings with her when she left Princess Asuka’s palace?
- In my opinion, it’s probably because the separation from Princess Asuka was too painful for Fumiko. And that the numerous poems which are the proof of this idyllic period of her life became so many cr**ue**l reminders of this separation. If I keep these documents in the palace of the daimyo, I fear that they will eventually disappear, because of the aura of scandal that surrounds them, and be destroyed. Of course, I ask you to keep the biggest secret about my visit to your monastery. The two servants with me have my full confidence. They will say nothing.
- I understand. I’ll have Master Takuan ask for it.
- I heard it all.
- Master Takuan! I didn’t notice you were there. Please forgive me.
- It doesn’t matter, Kūkai.
- Dame Irigawa, we are honored by your presence in our monastery. I know that the request I am going to make may seem inappropriate, taking into account the circumstances. But, may I ask you to read us some poems of our Fumiko, to the monks of this monastery as well as to myself?
- Of course, Master Takuan. Although I have relatively little time, I can read you some of her poems.
- If you will follow me to the inner courtyard, I will ask the monks to plant stakes and attach ropes to them, so that they can hang lanterns.
- I follow you, Master Takuan.
-Kūkai, ask the other monks to sit in a circle around Dame Irigawa.
- Everything will be done according to your wishes, Master Takuan.
- It has been several years since Dame Irigawa came to visit us at the monastery. Here is the story that I, Master Kūkai, feel obliged to tell. Our venerable Master Takuan has long since left us. According to his dearest wishes, and with the agreement of the other monks, I have been appointed to succeed him at the head of our monastery.
Late in the evening, when all the monks were sitting in a circle around Dame Irigawa and our master was standing a bit back, hands clasped together one above the other in front of him, the main confidante of our beloved Fumiko amazed us at the reading of some of her poems. Throughout the reading made by Dame Irigawa, the monks were in turn delighted, secretly titillated (I saw it in the expression of their faces), amused, ecstatic, moved to tears. Even our good master Takuan, who was so reserved in temperament, could not help shedding a few tears.
Suddenly, heavy rain fell on the assembly. However, no cloud darkened the starry sky that evening. Evidently, before this phenomenon as sudden as unexplained, all rushed into the temple. The next day, when Dame Irigawa and her two servants returned to the temple of the daimyo, Master Takuan explained to me that, according to him, this miraculous rain was the fruit of Benzaiten, goddess of knowledge, art and beauty, eloquence, music, literature, arts and sciences, virtue and wisdom, prosperity and longevity. She is one of the Seven Divinities of Happiness. Still according to my master, the goddess Benzaiten had to be so moved at the sight of so much eloquence, at the reading of Fumiko’s poems by Lady Irigawa, that she too cannot help but shed tears of joy and sadness at the same time.
And miraculous was this rain, indeed. The next morning, a cherry tree began to come out of the ground at the exact spot where Dame Irigawa was reading. Day after day, this cherry tree grew to a mature tree in just a few weeks. Once its growth is complete, buds bloom flowers with such a sweet and delicate fragrance that it immediately became the object of deep and sincere veneration of the entire monastic community. And never before has a cherry tree offered such beautiful and succulent fruits.
Now I have to tell you some strange stories that have come to me about the tragic disappearance of Princess Asuka and Fumiko’s departure from the palace. At the outset, I want to make it clear that I am in no way questioning the account of the facts made to me by Dame Irigawa. If the version of Dame Irigawa’s facts seems to me the most likely, other versions, equally interesting to me, have been reported to me from sources of variable reliability.
First of all, let me tell you what was said to me about Princess Asuka. According to Lady Irigawa, Princess Asuka was last seen in the direction of lake Kasumigaura. However, it seems that none of the peasants and fishermen who saw her were able to testify with certainty that it was indeed the princess, given the distance between them. Moreover, the body of the princess could never be rescued. Other accounts state that Princess Asuka would have been seen in the direction of the daimyo temple where her father allegedly sent Fumiko.
Another story, which was brought to me by a monk from another monastery, located not far from the temple where Fumiko found refuge, who was aware of the tragedy surrounding the fate of Princess Asuka and Fumiko, told me that the fox-goddess Inari, having taken pity on Princess Asuka, had turned her into a supernatural fox or kitsune. One morning, while Fumiko was taking a walk in the palace garden, she suddenly saw at her feet a fox all molded, looking at her with a suppliant air. Everyone wondered how this fox had broken into the palace. With affection for this a****l with a silky and magnificent coat, Fumiko asked the daimyo for permission to adopt it, authorization which was immediately granted to her.
Later, legends tell that the ladies of the court sometimes saw Fumiko in the company of a strange and beautiful woman, while she was taking her walks in the evening, in the garden. Also, it is said that, some nights, ladies of the court heard noises of conversation as well as laughter in Fumiko’s room, in the evening, while she was supposed to be alone, in the company of her fox. And it was not uncommon for sighs and moans of pleasure to be heard by anyone passing by Fumiko’s room late at night. From then on, Fumiko and her fox, because it was a female, became inseparable. It seems that Fumiko even read her poems to her in the garden during the day, when they were alone, and that the fox seemed to understand with delight all that Fumiko read to her.
The years passed, without the fox seems to show the slightest sign of aging. Then Fumiko ends up leaving this world in her turn. Curiously, no one saw the fox again after Fumiko’s departure. Another legend says that a peasant, returning late in the evening from a village next to his, where he had gone to help his brother to repair the roof of his house, after a frost, would have seen, by far, in the light of the full moon, a young woman accompanied by a fox, near the lake Kasumigaura. The peasant thought it strange that a young woman and a fox were walking by the lake, on such a cold evening, in the middle of winter. The woman and the fox seemed to be having fun chasing each other. However, after passing behind a bush, the peasant saw with amazement not a woman and a fox, but rather two young women, laughing and frolicking, sometimes holding hands, sometimes running one after the other.
Intrigued by this vision, the peasant decided to return, the next morning, to the place where this strange apparition occurred. To his astonishment, he saw, in the snow still fresh, what resembled the footsteps of a young woman and a fox, those steps transforming, a little further, into those of two young women. Then these footsteps dissolved in the snow, as if by magic. And, strange as it may seem, this same peasant claims to have smelled an exquisite perfume of cherry blossom on the place where the appearance of the eve had occurred, when there were no cherry trees there and it was obviously not the season for cherry blossoms. When the peasant returned to the place a few hours later, accompanied by other villagers, to show them what he had seen, the wind had unfortunately erased all traces of footsteps in the snow.
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow —
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand —
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep — while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
- A Dream Within a Dream. I love so much this poem by Edgar Allan Poe. It seems that Poe wrote this poem the same year of his de**at**h, in 1849, anticipating his imminent departure and going through a serious existential crisis. So many years have passed since I met you, Carmilla. Carmilla, Mircalla, Millarca. Never mind your real name! I love you so much.
Since I told you the terrible news that my father, may he rest in peace, has told me about you, you have listened to me wisely. A few days after you left our house, my father told me that he and General Spielsdorf had managed to get rid of you, according to the rituals provided for this purpose. Personally, I don’t believe that. You never get rid of a vampire, at least not completely. You never leave me. Isn’t that right, Carmilla? Hmm? What did you say? Puuuuuurrrr? Yes, I know. You’re looking forward to coming home too. To me, you’ll always be a lovely big black ball of hair and purring love. I, too, look forward to snuggling up against you and receiving your caresses, once we’re in bed. A little more patience. Normally, you should be in a cage. But the train crew knows you’re a good cat, aren’t you?
And I love you so much, Fumiko, my sweet, lovely disciple of Erato. More than you can imagine. Whenever I am away from home for a while, I always bring the precious copy of your poems that Lord Jack Cummings so generously gave to my father, The Divine Tears of Passion. Monk Kūkai could not have found a better title in the collection of your poems which he has so carefully compiled. May joy and love be your most faithful companions forever, wherever you go and whatever you do.
I think back to everything we’ve been through together over the years. Not to mention, of course, this delicious poem by Edgar Allan Poe, which I love. When my father left us, I inherited a comfortable heritage. I never got married. And as a matter of convenience, I even managed to change my name. From Hanna Molineaux, I became Hanna Traum. It’s funny because Traum, who was my mother’s maiden name, which I would never have had the pleasure of knowing and cherishing, means, in German language, 'dream’, in English. After all, aren’t we woven from the threads of our dreams?
I think the train is approaching the station, now. I’m going to put my scarf back on. To silence the curious people, who often wonder where the two marks on my neck come from. I always tell them they’re birthmarks. Many people would laugh to read everything I have just written. For them, all these stories and legends would be nothing but gibberish and nonsense. They’re probably right. Today, we’re Sunday night. I still have a few details to work out for the literature class I’m going to give tomorrow. Even if this topic is not directly related to the usual subjects of my classes, I think I will tell my students a little about the predominant place of the fox in many mythologies and oriental popular cultures, including, of course, those of Japan. I’m getting tired now. I’m gonna shut down my laptop.
* I know that some readers, like me, are non-English speakers (hello, Laurent!). Until the nineteenth century, it was common for many poets, William Wordsworth, William Blake, Percy Bysshe Shelley, just to name a few, to use words and turns of phrases borrowed from the old English, especially that of the Renaissance, which is not easy to understand and, believe me, I know something about it! So, here’s a translation I found, in French, of the wonderful poem by English poet and artist William Blake (1757-1827), Infant Joy, which I quoted in my (not so) short story:
JOIE D’ENFANT
« Je n’ai pas de nom,
Je n’ai que deux jours. »
Comment t’appellerai-je ?
« Je suis heureux,
Je m’appelle Joie. »
Que douce joie te vienne !
Gentille joie !
Douce joie de deux jours,
Je te nomme Joie douce.
Tu souris
Pendant que je chante.
Que douce joie te vienne !
3 years ago
