If Masturbating You Aren't Getting a Hand Job

Much like I rant and rave about the improper use of the "cuckold" term, I'm also equally as unimpressed with people on here that refer to masturbation as a handjob. It's called masturbation, jerking off, flogging the dolphin, wanking, fapping, choking the chicken, feeding the geese, spilling seed and just about any other term you can think of, but it isn't a handjob. A handjob is performed by another person or in some rare cases a machine. A handjob is not a solo experience.
Sometimes I enjoy watching a woman jerk off her man while I'm trying to finish or my wife is trying to finish me and there's rarely a disappointment larger than when I thought that I was getting a girl jerking off a guy and instead I wind up with a guy jerking himself off. Again, not a shot at those of you who enjoy watching that sort of thing, but it isn't my cup of tea and I'd prefer to see things categorized correctly. That's the least we can do while this place strips us of previously free rights that we had. It's sad because we had a real nice thing going here.