Noted Quotes
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” - Betty White
“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” - Dolly Parton
“The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.” - Stephen Hawking
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” - Jim Carey
“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” - Tom Clancy
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein
“This book was written using 100% recycled words.” - Terry Pratchett
“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you're interrupting.“– Mark Twain
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” —Isaac Asimov
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” ― Bob Hope
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." - Oscar Wilde
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” - Steven Wright
“I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“Life isn't a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk.” - Darynda Jones
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—Oscar Wilde
“Adults are always asking their progeny what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
”Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”— Doug Larson
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” —George Carlin
"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me." - Stephen Fry
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.“ - George Burns
“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” - Joan Rivers
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” - Noel Coward
"Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” - Tina Fey
"Whats inside a girl?... Something tells me there's a whole another world! - Lux Interior
“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” - Dolly Parton
“The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.” - Stephen Hawking
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” - Jim Carey
“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” - Tom Clancy
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein
“This book was written using 100% recycled words.” - Terry Pratchett
“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you're interrupting.“– Mark Twain
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” —Isaac Asimov
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” ― Bob Hope
"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." - Oscar Wilde
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” - Steven Wright
“I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“Life isn't a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk.” - Darynda Jones
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—Oscar Wilde
“Adults are always asking their progeny what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
”Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”— Doug Larson
“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” —George Carlin
"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me." - Stephen Fry
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.“ - George Burns
“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” - Joan Rivers
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” - Noel Coward
"Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” - Tina Fey
"Whats inside a girl?... Something tells me there's a whole another world! - Lux Interior
3 years ago
