One year of impotency

i have now been impotent for over a year. It has now been 25 years since i have had pussy and obviously with now being impotent i never will again. i have now accepted that i am 100% homosexual and the only sex i ever have is when i visit my Mistress's in Edinburgh every three months where they dress me up as a sissy , humiliate me and bring in a stud for me to suck his cock and bend over so that he can use my sissy hole. With regards to my impotency it has not got any better , i have on three occasions woken in the morning with a semi errection but even when i started to rub i went limp again within a minute or two and was left as limp as ever. I still struggle to cum limp and most of the time i am left feeling frustrated. I think i have mentioned before that my use of poppers when i am limp seems to make my tiny limp dick even smaller but this is not an issue for a loser like me , i am actually quite pleased that it has shrunk as it fits in with my sense of what a loser should be. i still try to tug and rub the useless little thing three times a day and continue my obsession with both loser and gay porn. i do still save straight porn but it is usually wishing to be the girl getting pounded by a real man with a huge hard cock