Follow up to some questions from my Q&A post
For those wondering about questions 6, 10, and 61 from my Questions and Answers post.
I met one the men at a bar and he brought up the request to let him and a straight male friend of his have sex with me while I was d-rugged un-conscious. They had a shared fantasy / interest in having sex with an un-conscious man, I agreed to it. We set a time and place for it to happen. The place was a hotel room the next night. I left a note in my apartment telling what was to happen in case something happened to me. I was the youngest and in my early 20's. The other two men were much older than me and claimed to be straight. Not that it mattered to me. One man had a full beard. We sat fully clothed in chairs facing each other. One of the men opened up a backpack and pulled out dildos, butt plugs, sounding rods of various thicknesses, and various toys. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows as if to let me know they will be used on me. One of the men gave me some pills and a glass of water. They drank Scotch on the rocks. While waiting for the pills to do their job we made small talk. Most of it sexual in nature. They wanted to know what I was into and if I had anal sex before. How old I was when I lost my virginity and what happened. That sort of thing. The guy with the beard lost his virginity at 14 and the other guy lost his at 13. Even though straight both have fucked men in the ass and are comfortable touching other men's cocks. Every few minutes they had me count down from 10. I started to feel loopy and slurring my speech. It got to the point I could barely keep my eyes open. It is at that point I remember watching the two men take off their shirts as if they were waiting for me to almost pass out before taking off their shirts. One man had a hairy chest and the other barely any hair. It was surreal so I am not sure which chest went with which face. They lifted me out the chair and put me down on the bed. I passed out watching them start to take their pants off. I do wonder why they took their shirts off before lifting me out of the chair.
I woke up several times aware they were doing something to me, but I would pass out again. When I woke up in the morning, I was alone and naked on the bed with a super sore asshole. I do not remember taking off my clothes, so the other men took them off me. There were cum wet spots all over the bed. For some time afterward I would have nightmares with blurry flashes of what they were doing to me those times I was not fully passed out. The only not so blurry flash was one of them holding my eye lids open and looking at my eyes. His face kept getting smaller and larger. It kind of freaked me out in my nightmares.
Some of the blurry flashes may involve the sounding rods, my cock, and me groggily saying "stop. what are you doing to me? stop" in groggy panic while they continued doing what they were doing. I was on my back. Someone laughing saying "that woke him up". laughter, "try larger", laughter, I feel relief, "hold him down", someone leans on my belly, something painful happens, I moan from the pain and try to struggle, laughter, "don't like that does he?", laughter, the pain continues, I continue to moan and try to struggle, I could only move my head side to side because I was so out of it and someone was leaning on my belly, laughter, more flashes of pain, moaning, struggling, and laughter, the pain eventually stops, "check him", the man leaning on my belly moves off, someone opens my eye lids and looks into my eyes, "barely conscious, out of it, does not know doing, might think a dream, pass out soon, we safe" (what was probably said "He is barely conscious. He is so out of it he probably does not know what we are doing to him. He might think it was a dream. He'll pass out again soon. We will be safe to continue with a thinner rod") laughter, someone leans on my belly again, something discomforting happens, laughter, I moan a little but do not struggle, laughter, "he enjoying it, hard" (Probably said "He is enjoying it. His cock is getting hard"), laughter, I pass out again.
I have watched sounding videos to make sense of the flashes and what I think was happening was they were trying out thicker and thicker rods to find the thickest I could take, and I woke up when the rod got too big. They tried a larger one for the fun of it and continued to use it for a while to see me moan and struggle in pain from a too large of a sounding rod being slid up and down inside my cock which they found funny. Then went back to a smaller rod and used it like a dildo to stimulate the inside of my cock, which caused my cock to harden, and possibly cum. But then again, I was so out of it they could have been doing something else and my delirious mind filled in the blanks using the image of the sounding rods I saw before taking the pills.
Years later, while I was completely awake, I had a gay couple I was friends with use their sounding rods on me in the way I think happened to me, and it bought back the nightmares. I had previously told them about the encounter I had. So, they knew I might react badly. After the sounding "recreation" they said I was visibly shaken. Months later I used one of their sounding rods on myself while they watched. The rod being inserted gave me the shivers like a ghost had walked through me. To this day I still get the shivers if I or someone else inserts a sounding rod in me.
It is always cathartic to tell people about the original encounter. The nightmares that came from it did mess me up a bit. Even if it might be my delirious imagination filling in details the flashes of the possible sounding and the laughing when I tried to stop it give me a feeling of being violated. Whereas whatever they did to my ass does not give me a feeling of being violated.
Lots of edits because I suppress a lot of what happened and writing it then reading what I wrote down unsuppresses things.
I met one the men at a bar and he brought up the request to let him and a straight male friend of his have sex with me while I was d-rugged un-conscious. They had a shared fantasy / interest in having sex with an un-conscious man, I agreed to it. We set a time and place for it to happen. The place was a hotel room the next night. I left a note in my apartment telling what was to happen in case something happened to me. I was the youngest and in my early 20's. The other two men were much older than me and claimed to be straight. Not that it mattered to me. One man had a full beard. We sat fully clothed in chairs facing each other. One of the men opened up a backpack and pulled out dildos, butt plugs, sounding rods of various thicknesses, and various toys. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows as if to let me know they will be used on me. One of the men gave me some pills and a glass of water. They drank Scotch on the rocks. While waiting for the pills to do their job we made small talk. Most of it sexual in nature. They wanted to know what I was into and if I had anal sex before. How old I was when I lost my virginity and what happened. That sort of thing. The guy with the beard lost his virginity at 14 and the other guy lost his at 13. Even though straight both have fucked men in the ass and are comfortable touching other men's cocks. Every few minutes they had me count down from 10. I started to feel loopy and slurring my speech. It got to the point I could barely keep my eyes open. It is at that point I remember watching the two men take off their shirts as if they were waiting for me to almost pass out before taking off their shirts. One man had a hairy chest and the other barely any hair. It was surreal so I am not sure which chest went with which face. They lifted me out the chair and put me down on the bed. I passed out watching them start to take their pants off. I do wonder why they took their shirts off before lifting me out of the chair.
I woke up several times aware they were doing something to me, but I would pass out again. When I woke up in the morning, I was alone and naked on the bed with a super sore asshole. I do not remember taking off my clothes, so the other men took them off me. There were cum wet spots all over the bed. For some time afterward I would have nightmares with blurry flashes of what they were doing to me those times I was not fully passed out. The only not so blurry flash was one of them holding my eye lids open and looking at my eyes. His face kept getting smaller and larger. It kind of freaked me out in my nightmares.
Some of the blurry flashes may involve the sounding rods, my cock, and me groggily saying "stop. what are you doing to me? stop" in groggy panic while they continued doing what they were doing. I was on my back. Someone laughing saying "that woke him up". laughter, "try larger", laughter, I feel relief, "hold him down", someone leans on my belly, something painful happens, I moan from the pain and try to struggle, laughter, "don't like that does he?", laughter, the pain continues, I continue to moan and try to struggle, I could only move my head side to side because I was so out of it and someone was leaning on my belly, laughter, more flashes of pain, moaning, struggling, and laughter, the pain eventually stops, "check him", the man leaning on my belly moves off, someone opens my eye lids and looks into my eyes, "barely conscious, out of it, does not know doing, might think a dream, pass out soon, we safe" (what was probably said "He is barely conscious. He is so out of it he probably does not know what we are doing to him. He might think it was a dream. He'll pass out again soon. We will be safe to continue with a thinner rod") laughter, someone leans on my belly again, something discomforting happens, laughter, I moan a little but do not struggle, laughter, "he enjoying it, hard" (Probably said "He is enjoying it. His cock is getting hard"), laughter, I pass out again.
I have watched sounding videos to make sense of the flashes and what I think was happening was they were trying out thicker and thicker rods to find the thickest I could take, and I woke up when the rod got too big. They tried a larger one for the fun of it and continued to use it for a while to see me moan and struggle in pain from a too large of a sounding rod being slid up and down inside my cock which they found funny. Then went back to a smaller rod and used it like a dildo to stimulate the inside of my cock, which caused my cock to harden, and possibly cum. But then again, I was so out of it they could have been doing something else and my delirious mind filled in the blanks using the image of the sounding rods I saw before taking the pills.
Years later, while I was completely awake, I had a gay couple I was friends with use their sounding rods on me in the way I think happened to me, and it bought back the nightmares. I had previously told them about the encounter I had. So, they knew I might react badly. After the sounding "recreation" they said I was visibly shaken. Months later I used one of their sounding rods on myself while they watched. The rod being inserted gave me the shivers like a ghost had walked through me. To this day I still get the shivers if I or someone else inserts a sounding rod in me.
It is always cathartic to tell people about the original encounter. The nightmares that came from it did mess me up a bit. Even if it might be my delirious imagination filling in details the flashes of the possible sounding and the laughing when I tried to stop it give me a feeling of being violated. Whereas whatever they did to my ass does not give me a feeling of being violated.
Lots of edits because I suppress a lot of what happened and writing it then reading what I wrote down unsuppresses things.
1 year ago