Sexual Orientation... Yes, lets have a chat
Hey all, if you're reading this welcome. I too share your curiosity and wanna understand things a little better. If you've followed me for awhile, you know I had another page on here with the name "Guy4dadbear". I had a BUNCH of blog posts that shared my experiences with sex and the many different types of men I'd hookup with, not to mention my thoughts, some kinky, on all things sex and male masculinity. I will note, THIS IS ALL MY OPINION and I welcome respectful discussions from all. This is all written from my observed experience and some very basic research on the subjects. Please enjoy.
So, sexual orientation. Something that people think they understand but when having discussions about it, it doesn't seem they do. Things like gender, sex, and sexual orientation, especially in these days seem to get a little convoluted and mushed together in ways that blur the lines and create confusion within people. So, lets break it down Barney style. I will only focus on the main four orientations because it really gets messy after that, but these four seem to encompass the what seems majority of the human experience and understanding. Lets get some definitions out of the way first, so we're all on the same page.
SEX: Binary biological male and female, There are intersex people, but we're just gonna focus on biological male and female.
Gender: Is a social construct that has changed over generations that defines what a 'male' is and what a 'female' is. Today, socially, it's more acceptable for a female to wear a dress than a male, when in histories past, it was more common for males to wear dresses and heals and all those that we deem "feminine" today, weren't so feminine in the past. Gender is fluid and as such changes with the given decade of what's "socially acceptable". Gender doesn't define the biological MALE vs FEMALE, that pertains to SEX.
Heterosexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of the opposite sex.
Homosexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of the same-sex.
Bisexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of either sex.
Pansexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of all sexes and genders.
Now that we got some basic definitions out of the way, lets discuss.
Notice I wrote "emotionally" in all caps, why? Because this is the fundamental defining characteristic of someone being of a particular orientation, as human beings, were are physical and our primal instincts demand physical contact with another person. Where we get into talks of orientation it deals with not just the physical, but the emotional level of attraction that we feel for another person.
In society, due to religious persecution and such, with dogmatic talking points, some individuals will boil down orientation to just the physical act, which gets me into, ask yourself this, if you've ever used a fleshlight or a toy of some sort, were you "physically and emotionally" attracted to that object? Probably not. So the sexual act itself doesn't define the sexual orientation of an individual. So for straight guys who will occasionally hookup with another dude, unless you're also EMOTIONALLY attracted to them, you hooking up with that other guy was no different than using a fleshlight or dildo on yourself. Don't let anyone tell you who you are simply because you wanted to experience a different kind of pleasure.
I have hooked up with many straight men in my life. Once the deed was done, they were still straight... They also had the pleasure of going home with my DNA inside of them ;-) but that's a different story. What was the commonality with all those straight men? It was opportunity, it was access, it was a comfort in themselves to experience a different but not so different kind of pleasure that they unfortunately couldn't experience with someone of the opposite sex.
Some will say that a guy can't be straight if he's getting his dick hard with another guy, which ultimately isn't true. As guys, we've all at some point had the embarrassing hardon that just wouldn't go away. You wake up, your dick is hard. The wind blows against your neck just right and you're hard. In cases that we're talking about, the opportunity presented itself and the straight man's hand wasn't gonna be enough to get him off, so he asks his buddy or some dude he met who's willing to help him relieve some built up tension. One things leads to another and that straight guy gets the physical satisfaction he desired. For some men, they don't need to be attracted to the individual they're having sex with to get the deed done. I have myself hooked up with many men I wasn't physically attracted with but, I was horny, they were horny, and we had a mutual agreement to satisfy each other, no strings attached.
I guess this blog post has turned more into a look into the orientation of straight men experiencing sexual gratification with other men. I speak with a lot of straight men, many of whom are married (to women) and they seek and desire something a little more taboo and kinky. In my opinion, they're sexual orientation never is questioned by me because we have the agreement that they're seeking physical pleasure and satisfaction, not emotional. They don't seek an emotional connection with someone of the same sex, because THEY'RE NOT GAY. This aspect of emotional connection goes deeper than I really want to get into but it defines that person's orientation more than the physical.
Just go onto any video where the title has a description of a 'straight man' doing something with another guy. You'll see in the comments somewhere someone claiming "he can't be straight if he's with another guy", which is BS. At the end of the day, a hole is a hole, sexuality is a little more fluid, and live and let live. Stop judging each other for having a pleasurable experience outside of what society says we as individuals SHOULD experience and get pleasure from.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
So, sexual orientation. Something that people think they understand but when having discussions about it, it doesn't seem they do. Things like gender, sex, and sexual orientation, especially in these days seem to get a little convoluted and mushed together in ways that blur the lines and create confusion within people. So, lets break it down Barney style. I will only focus on the main four orientations because it really gets messy after that, but these four seem to encompass the what seems majority of the human experience and understanding. Lets get some definitions out of the way first, so we're all on the same page.
SEX: Binary biological male and female, There are intersex people, but we're just gonna focus on biological male and female.
Gender: Is a social construct that has changed over generations that defines what a 'male' is and what a 'female' is. Today, socially, it's more acceptable for a female to wear a dress than a male, when in histories past, it was more common for males to wear dresses and heals and all those that we deem "feminine" today, weren't so feminine in the past. Gender is fluid and as such changes with the given decade of what's "socially acceptable". Gender doesn't define the biological MALE vs FEMALE, that pertains to SEX.
Heterosexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of the opposite sex.
Homosexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of the same-sex.
Bisexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of either sex.
Pansexual: An individual who is attracted physically and EMOTIONALLY to someone of all sexes and genders.
Now that we got some basic definitions out of the way, lets discuss.
Notice I wrote "emotionally" in all caps, why? Because this is the fundamental defining characteristic of someone being of a particular orientation, as human beings, were are physical and our primal instincts demand physical contact with another person. Where we get into talks of orientation it deals with not just the physical, but the emotional level of attraction that we feel for another person.
In society, due to religious persecution and such, with dogmatic talking points, some individuals will boil down orientation to just the physical act, which gets me into, ask yourself this, if you've ever used a fleshlight or a toy of some sort, were you "physically and emotionally" attracted to that object? Probably not. So the sexual act itself doesn't define the sexual orientation of an individual. So for straight guys who will occasionally hookup with another dude, unless you're also EMOTIONALLY attracted to them, you hooking up with that other guy was no different than using a fleshlight or dildo on yourself. Don't let anyone tell you who you are simply because you wanted to experience a different kind of pleasure.
I have hooked up with many straight men in my life. Once the deed was done, they were still straight... They also had the pleasure of going home with my DNA inside of them ;-) but that's a different story. What was the commonality with all those straight men? It was opportunity, it was access, it was a comfort in themselves to experience a different but not so different kind of pleasure that they unfortunately couldn't experience with someone of the opposite sex.
Some will say that a guy can't be straight if he's getting his dick hard with another guy, which ultimately isn't true. As guys, we've all at some point had the embarrassing hardon that just wouldn't go away. You wake up, your dick is hard. The wind blows against your neck just right and you're hard. In cases that we're talking about, the opportunity presented itself and the straight man's hand wasn't gonna be enough to get him off, so he asks his buddy or some dude he met who's willing to help him relieve some built up tension. One things leads to another and that straight guy gets the physical satisfaction he desired. For some men, they don't need to be attracted to the individual they're having sex with to get the deed done. I have myself hooked up with many men I wasn't physically attracted with but, I was horny, they were horny, and we had a mutual agreement to satisfy each other, no strings attached.
I guess this blog post has turned more into a look into the orientation of straight men experiencing sexual gratification with other men. I speak with a lot of straight men, many of whom are married (to women) and they seek and desire something a little more taboo and kinky. In my opinion, they're sexual orientation never is questioned by me because we have the agreement that they're seeking physical pleasure and satisfaction, not emotional. They don't seek an emotional connection with someone of the same sex, because THEY'RE NOT GAY. This aspect of emotional connection goes deeper than I really want to get into but it defines that person's orientation more than the physical.
Just go onto any video where the title has a description of a 'straight man' doing something with another guy. You'll see in the comments somewhere someone claiming "he can't be straight if he's with another guy", which is BS. At the end of the day, a hole is a hole, sexuality is a little more fluid, and live and let live. Stop judging each other for having a pleasurable experience outside of what society says we as individuals SHOULD experience and get pleasure from.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
3 months ago
