I Bought A Vibrator
I wondered what starting college still half in lockdown would be like. Well, I’m sure I would worry about grades and being bored out of my skull, I would masturbate a lot.
It would be fair to say that I felt a little cheated; I had imagined the start of life as a freshman as being wild. Then, of course, by the time I was heading off to campus, the pandemic was in full swing. Any socializing, raunchy or otherwise, became all but impossible. There were secret parties, of course, and I certainly considered attending a few. But I guess my parents' influence had rubbed off on me more than I realized, and I stayed put in my new room, with the knowledge that someone else was having an infinitely better time than I was.
I had picked an all-female dorm on campus for a reason. University boys made me nervous. I was more wary of them than I was interested. A hook-up with one? Forget it.
As it happened, then, with my less than flourishing social life, I did get to know my neighbors in the building. I had a single room with an adjoining bathroom that I shared with another girl whose room adjoined the bathroom from the opposite side. My bathroom neighbor was a psychology major named Katie, and she was incredibly sweet. I had come a long way from home to university whereas she was from only a few miles away, and so she came much better prepared, and was very generous in lending me anything I realized I hadn't brought.
Aside from that, though, I found myself often bored and frustrated and I was stressed. Classwork was challenging, and my racy dreams of campus life were as of yet unfulfilled. One of the few bright spots was the novelty of having a bedroom with a locking door and dormmates who respected the right to privacy. So I masturbated -- often. Like I said, it was novel being able to touch myself at more or less any time of the day, and without pausing every time I thought I heard a creaking floorboard or another door opening nearby.
Of course, I still shared space, so I didn't have total free rein just to cut loose any time I wanted. Katie played for the, so I didn't yet feel quite comfortable doing anything too risqué with her just a single door away. Over time, I ended up following my usual habit of getting off just before bed, by which time everything had settled down.
Porn was something I had a bit of an odd relationship with. My parents might have been conservative, but they were happy for me to have my own laptop. My first look was out of curiosity. Over time, it became just a little indulgence, though one I had thoroughly mixed feelings about. Still, I very much enjoyed watching two attractive people get it on. And then I found myself more interested in girls having sex; it seemed more real and arousing than the typical hetero stuff. By the time I started university I had become significantly choosier and, naturally, a lot more anxious that I hadn't yet graduated to the real thing. I loved that the sex seemed genuinely nice and something I could imagine doing for myself, if I ever managed to get out of my room and meet a girl who turned me on.
Boy, did I have no idea what I was in for.
With nobody to get on my case about it, another small novel enjoyment was being able to let my living space be a little messy. I felt vindicated in this by Katie, who was prone to leaving stuff in our shared bathroom. Shampoo, shower gel, moisturizers, make-up remover, the lot. I didn't particularly mind, and didn’t want to start an argument with one of my few new friends. Then, one morning I was up earlier than usual for a rescheduled online lecture. I was brushing my teeth at the sink when I spotted something sitting just beside the stainless hot tap. It was a small matte black object that I initially mistook for a stick of deodorant. I took a closer look; it clearly wasn't deodorant. The slight lip near one end that I'd mistaken for the base of a lid was purely decorative, and on the underside, a small opening with a silver protrusion inside.
Then, belatedly, realization hit me and my heart skipped a beat. Katie must have left it in here by accident. It was okay, I told myself. She may not have been awake yet; I could simply finish up here and go for my lecture and she would never need to know that I had seen it. Good thing too, because she would be mortified. Or, perhaps, I would be mortified.
Then, her door swung open.
I had not bothered to lock it. I was only brushing my teeth, after all. "Oh," Katie said brightly. "You're up early. Did one of your --"
Her eyes, predictably, arrived exactly where I hoped she would fail to look. "Oh-" Katie looked briefly at me, then straight down at the tiled floor, blushing like mad. "Uh, sorry, I forgot to- yeah-"
She grabbed the toy and exited back to her room, determinedly not looking at me. I stood there, feeling a flush creeping across my face, a mixture of embarrassment and sympathy for my friend.
The incident remained on my mind throughout my lecture. I was grateful to be able to merely listen with my camera and mic both switched off; and I felt myself blush again whenever the image popped into my head throughout the day. The best response, I decided, was to act as if nothing had happened. Katie, surely, would want to forget about twice as much as I did.
I didn't see her again while I was cooking that evening, but I didn't have to wait much longer. My hairdryer began playing up the following day, and figuring a little embarrassment was preferable to running a dodgy appliance next to my wet hair, I braved the other side of the bathroom door and knocked softly. "Katie? Can I borrow your hairdryer?"
"Sure, come on through." Katie was sitting at her desk with her headphones on. "It's a pre-recorded lecture, don't worry," she added, shrugging them off. "Over there on the windowsill."
"Thanks." I was maybe a little more stiff than usual, but Katie seemed unbothered, and I made my way over to grab the dryer.
"No problem" she turned back to her screen.
"I'm sorry about yesterday."
I had blurted it out without even thinking. So much for carrying on like nothing had happened. I could feel the heat creeping up my face once more.
Katie looked slightly taken aback, and I winced internally. Then, to my immense relief, she half-smiled sheepishly and shook her head. "Oh, no, no, it's fine. It was my fault anyway."
I was still certainly blushing and annoyed at myself for bringing it up, but I now also felt a slight twinge of additional annoyance on top. "Well, I'm sorry anyway," I said. "Hey, since lockdown has probably killed off hook-ups, we're probably not the only people it's happened to."
I thought I was pushing it there, but Katie merely laughed and nodded. "Yeah," she agreed. "I would probably have brought more if I'd known I was going to be flying solo."
I couldn't quite believe I was having this conversation, but I giggled and shrugged. Well, I wanted to loosen up a bit after getting away from home, hadn't I? "Good thing you live within driving distance," I said. "I had to take a flight to get here."
We cracked a few jokes before I took the dryer and left her to return to her studies. My pulse was still going a little quicker than normal, but I didn't mind much. Mainly I was just relieved that I wasn't going to be tiptoeing around my nearest neighbor -- and nearest friend here, if I was honest. And she was right. It was nothing to really be embarrassed about, when you broke it down. Hell, I'm sure it could easily have been me, if I owned anything like that. I didn't, of course; attempting to smuggle the parcel past my parents would have been a nightmare.
And then it hit me, for the first time, that I no longer needed to. I paused with the dryer in my hand. I had received little mail on campus so far, but I knew the system: everyone had the right to claim a locker, and postal deliveries could be mailed directly there and then collected at our own discretion. Anything I wanted to order I could do so entirely inconspicuously. I filed that little revelation away in the back of my mind. I wasn't quite ready to act on it yet, but I certainly wasn't going to forget it, either.
That conversation with Katie turned out not to be a mere one-off. She was more relaxed in talking about these things than any of my old friends. And I, had things I had been waiting to get off my chest without realizing it for a long time. It was something wholly new to me, having someone to talk to who was genuinely confident and comfortable discussing sexual topics. Not just confident and comfortable, in fact, but sweet and approachable. Having shuffled awkwardly around the issue for some time, I eventually admitted to her that I was still a virgin, genuinely worried that she might laugh or, even worse, take pity on me. But she merely shrugged and nodded calmly. "That's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I guess not." Even with her nonchalance, I couldn't help but cringe a little. "You know that's easier for you to say, though. It's hard not to be self-conscious about it."
"I know." She reached out and brushed my shoulder affectionately, and it surprised me. I wasn't all that used to affection from friends. Come to think of it, I wasn't all that used to affection from anybody. "But you'll get there. And you don't have to rush. I'll let you in on a secret: when I lost my virginity, it sucked. Seriously, it was so underwhelming, and I was too shy to say anything- like I was worrying about it: 'am I bad at this?' 'Is this just what sex is always like?'"
"Really?" I winced sympathetically.
Katie nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. So there's definitely nothing wrong with hanging on for a little while for the right person. Cuz there's no point in being with someone who doesn't really care whether you're actually enjoying yourself."
I smiled a little. "That sounds like a good T-shirt quote."
She smiled back. "Thanks."
Hanging out with Katie made me feel a little more comfortable in my own skin for the first time since arriving at university- or perhaps for the first time since I'd gotten old enough to have these worries, really. On a whim one evening, I opened a private browsing window and began perusing. I wasn't going to go for anything too out-there. Just something to spice things up for myself. I went on the first and most reputable-looking site that came up and was greeted by a page of dildos. I cringed once more. The flesh-colored ones made me uncomfortable. The non-flesh colored ones made me uncomfortable. Why were they all so veiny? I shook my head and moved onto the next page.
Vibrators. I found a drop-down menu and sorted by the most popular. Right at the top of the list, a familiar sight popped up. A small round device, more modest than most of the others. I was pretty sure that it was the same toy that Katie had left by the sink. I felt a little awkward still even at the memory. But the star rating was impressive, and it was probably just about within my price range... I clicked on it curiously.
I did a little more reading. It came with dual vibrating and clit-sucking functions, charged off the mains, was waterproof and came with ten speeds and patterns. My cursor hovered over the 'add to cart' button. Was I really going to do this?
Yes. Yes, I bloody well was. I checked and double-checked the ad and reviews that my order would come in a plain unmarked package, hurriedly keyed in my details – “no, you certainly may not remember them for next time.” A moment later the confirmation email arrived in my inbox. I felt my nerves jangling, but I felt an unmistakable glow of satisfaction as well.
I ordered it in rose gold, though. Not black. That would have reminded me a little too much of Katie. Which would have been weird. Definitely. I closed over my laptop, wondering why I was flushing again all of a sudden.
Katie and I continued to keep one another company. It was nice, having someone even to do what little mundane stuff we could like cook together or watch a show holed up in one of our rooms. I told her a little more about my own background, my tense relationship with my parents and my nerdy reputation at school. I was a little jealous of Katie's own family situation, which sounded immeasurably warmer and more relaxed. Katie's confident aura wasn't just because she'd seldom been told what to do by anyone; it was because she had had to figure it out in large part by herself.
The most vulnerable I saw her, meanwhile, was on one occasion when the topic turned back – and it almost always did -- to sex and relationships, and I grumbled once again about my lack of action. "You'll be fine," Katie repeated, waving her hand. "You'll know when it feels right. It doesn't change you in the meantime."
I heard her say much the same before, but there was something a little too airy about the way she'd waved her arm, and she wasn't quite meeting my eyes. I looked at her, unsure over whether I should broach the topic or just leave it, but the decision was taken for me as she turned back and caught sight of my gaze, and to my surprise seemed to shrink a little before me. "Okay, maybe I'm projecting a little," she said.
"Projecting – what do you mean?"
Katie furrowed her brow. "Okay, I... I know I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm actually bisexual" she said in a sudden rush.
"Oh" I nodded in surprise, then did so again more firmly. "That's totally okay! Why didn't you say? Not that you're obliged to, obviously, but if you felt comfortable... wait, you didn't think I'd have a problem with it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no!" Katie said with a shake of her head. "No, I didn’t think you would have a problem with it that way. I just..." She winced a little and rested her chin on her hand, looking suddenly awkward. "I haven't told that many people," she said. "And it's basically because I'm worried they won't take it seriously. I've had boyfriends, but I've never had a girlfriend, I've never dated or slept with a girl or done anything more than just kiss. I've always known that I liked girls even better than boys, but I haven't met a girl I wanted to take that step with yet."
I felt my heart contract in sympathy. "Well, I take you seriously," I said firmly. "I mean I've never even had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Nobody should act like they know your own sexuality better than you do. You're totally valid."
"Thanks." Katie managed a brief smile, but her eyes remained sad. "But anyway, yeah, that's why I don’t bring it up unless someone asks." Her cheeks were now red, and she shifted her gaze to the floor. "Sometimes I sort of feel like I'm still half a virgin, I guess, and it makes me shy about talking about it. Sorry, I know I'm being stupid..."
She lapsed into silence. I felt poorly equipped to be the one giving advice and comfort, but remembering how her support had made me feel when I doubted myself, I reached out and laid my hand gently but firmly over hers. I gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. There was still a hint of reservation in her expression, but she nodded slightly, and her smile this time was a little more like her usual self. "Thanks."
That conversation marked a slight change between us. I felt now a little less like just the timid one that Katie had graciously taken under her wing, and more like we were supporting one another, in a peculiarly new chapter of our lives. I felt touched, as well, that she'd trusted me, and I wanted her to know it, and know that she was as valid as she made me feel about myself.
We didn't see quite so much of each other for the next little while. The term was drawing to a close and deadlines were approaching, leaving us both pretty busy. I was once again in need of a way to de-stress. Right on cue, it arrived. I got a notification in my inbox: my online purchase had reached my locker.
Even with the anonymity and the fact that yes, it had indeed arrived in as plain a package as could be wished for, I still made a point of turning up as early in the morning as possible, when the place was practically deserted. I picked up the package and crammed it straight into my backpack and headed back to my room with butterflies in my stomach -- both embarrassment and excitement. The package lay there in my bag for the rest of the day, before I finally felt comfortable opening the box and laying the contents out on the bed. There it was, complete with its little charging cable, though the website had promised it would arrive with a full battery to start with. Okay then. Time to explore.
Ensuring my doors were properly locked, I removed my skirt, slid my panties halfway down my thighs and settled into my usual spot propped up against the pillows on my bed. I didn't really feel in the mood for accompaniment tonight, and I instead closed my eyes and let my imagination wander through its usual fantasies.
I settled gradually into my usual familiar circular rhythm with my index and middle fingers against my clitoris; I was still a little tense, but I did my best to relax and let the slow, satisfying sensations wash over me. It took a while, but eventually I felt ready, nerves jangling, to reach for the gold toy beside me and take it in my hand.
Cautiously, I tested the strength of the vibrations against my thigh. Was that really it? No, of course, that was the lowest setting. This was all new to me. I dialed it up a little and flinched at how quickly the vibrations moved from slow to intense; I hastily dialed it back down. There, that felt about right. Recomposing myself, I took the toy and settled it in place with the opening at one end against my clit.
It felt... okay. The sensation of something buzzing there was going to take some getting used to, but I did my best to settle back down and soak it up. It would take a little time, I guess. I waited.
And waited. And... huh? Something wasn’t quite right. I tried moving the device around a little, testing a few different angles, but all without success. It didn't feel bad by any means -- the tingling sensation was enjoyable, but still... The reviews of the product had been gushing, describing pleasure of semi-believable proportions. I hadn't forked out what little spending money I had just to feel nice – I wanted to come. I turned up the power a couple of notches again to see.
Nope. No, that was too sensitive. I flinched and instinctively shut the thing off entirely, my eyes snapping open. Okay. That was okay. It was early days yet. I'd figure it out. It had worked for everybody else, after all. Including Katie
That thought, of course, made me blush again, along with bringing a feeling in my stomach that I wasn't quite familiar with. I set the gold toy aside. I no longer felt in the mood to go on even without it. I got redressed unhappily and tried to think of other things.
I spent the next couple of days gearing myself up mentally for another attempt. I unleashed my nerdy tendencies once more and hopped back on the website I had originally found the toy on to read some of the comments. None of the descriptions they gave were particularly helpful. The only topic of conversation surrounding my purchase were from other women remarking on how hard they had climaxed with it. I sighed.
As I went to close the browser window, something else caught my eye. It was in the “related videos” section. Not one, but two girls, sitting side by side on a bed and using similar toys together. Still shots from the video thumbnail looped over and over. Giggling, legs pressing together, backs arching in pleasure.
I stopped and closed the window suddenly. That same odd, unbidden feeling in the pit of my stomach was back. I sat and took a deep breath. It was just curiosity, I decided. Maybe a little envy. But only because I had not yet got the toy working for myself. That was all it was. I closed my laptop once more and shook my head firmly.**
I made a couple more tries in the next few days, but my heart wasn't really into it. I had enough work to do without allowing masturbation to become a chore as well. But I felt a twinge of indignation every time I opened my top drawer and saw the little gold tapered cylinder sitting there.
"Hey, are you okay?"
It was Katie. We were sitting together on her bed in our pajamas, her laptop at our feet with another show playing. It was one of those rainy Saturday afternoons where neither of us felt like doing much and Sunday seemed like plenty of time for our pre-seminar readings.
"Sorry," I said with a shrug, enjoying the way our shoulders brushed together. "Daydream."
"Ooh, about what?"
"Don't you try and analyze me," I warned, though I couldn't help but smile exasperatedly.
"You just looked far away, was all!" She shrugged again in acquiescence. "You don't have to tell me."
As had often been the case in the early days of our friendship, I both wanted to and didn't want to. I hesitated. The words embarrassed me even to think, and yet I was sure she wouldn't judge me. "It's something really dumb," I ventured.
"So, not a big deal, then," Katie countered.
I smiled again in spite of myself. "Do you promise not to laugh?"
I steeled myself and went on. "Okay. A little while ago I ordered one of those … sucking vibrator things, and I can't really get it to work."
Katie covered her mouth, and I could see she was making a valiant effort not to giggle, but it slipped out regardless and I turned away as my face went bright red.
"Sorry!" She reached out and brushed my arm reassuringly. "Okay, I'm sorry, I just- that's just not what I was expecting. Right."
I turned back to her in exasperation, though I was beginning to laugh myself, still embarrassed but once again relieved that it was now out there. "Is it the same as the one I have?" she asked.
I nodded. "I think so. Look, I'd just never been able to buy anything like that before! I'd have been terrified of my parents going snooping in my room and finding it-"
"It's okay, it's okay!" Katie smiled sympathetically. "You don't have to justify it to me." We exchanged slightly sheepish but fond looks, and a moment passed, the tail end of our show still playing in the background.
"So, what's going wrong with it, then?" Katie asked softly.
"I don't know." I shook my head. "I mean it works, but it doesn't do much for me."
I was certainly still a little flushed, but not as much as I would have been even a couple of weeks ago. This wasn't quite my usual comfort zone. But that was something I liked about Katie. She made leaving my comfort zone feel less daunting. More like an adventure.
Then she spoke again, in a quite matter-of-fact voice. "Do you want me to show you?"
It took a moment for me to really process the question. "Show me?" I repeated. "Like how to do it?"
"Sure, if it would help."
I looked at her, wondering if she was about to grin at me for falling for a joke, but her eyes were entirely serious and calm. Even for two very open friends, this was surely a bit much. This wasn't what normal friends did, was it?
“Oh, I don’t know…”
But I'd been fretting about being normal all my life, and I was sick of it. I remembered what we'd said before about judgments, and then my own words, about being kind in our assessment of ourselves.
"Okay," I nodded. "Show me."
My heart was skipping along inside my chest, but I sat up to let Katie out, and she moved her laptop to her desk before going to her own drawer.
"Do you want to go get yours too?" she suggested. "So we know they're the same."
"Sure." I made my way a little too quickly back through our shared bathroom and into my bedroom, grabbing the little gold toy of my own. We even kept it in the same drawer and everything.
I returned to find Katie with the blinds drawn, and with her own black model in one hand and a clear bottle with a white nozzle in the other. Sure enough, both hers and mine were identical except for color.
"Okay," she said. "I'll show you what I usually do, anyway."
She made her way back to the bed and sat down, setting the black toy and the bottle beside her. I watched, feeling a hot flush around my collar but not even remotely tempted to avert my eyes. Katie shimmied out of her pajama shorts and then her panties. I suppose Katie may have been more comfortable with undressing in front of other people by now with her sporting background, but this was surely something else entirely.
"So to start with" she said, "I like to add a little bit of lube, just because it helps create a kind of seal. It still sometimes takes a little fiddling around to get the top part to go, but it's supposed to cover your clitoris..."
She looked up from what she was doing. "Come on, come over so you can see."
I had been almost spellbound where I was standing, but I moved forward and took a seat on the bed, right next to Katie, and she adjusted her position so I could see exactly what was going on. She squirted a dash of the clear gel-like substance onto her fingers and massaged it carefully through the folds right around her clitoris. I watched, feeling my mouth go dry. It was surreal to be watching something that ought to have been so private, and for it to be my friend. We'd been sitting watching Netflix all of ten minutes ago, and now we were here.
"Okay." Katie was done with her prep. "And now I put it on, like this, and pretty much just hold it exactly there. Don't move it around, just keep it there. You'll feel it when it's properly in place."
She spread her lips fully, and adjusted the device until it was directly in place, just as she said. "And now," she said, "I usually start on about a 2 or a 3 out of 10; I've never gone above 7, and I usually like this pattern here."
I heard a faint buzz, and the toy whirred into life. Katie caught her breath. "Yeah," she said. "Some of the other patterns are nice, but this is the one I use most of the time..."
She kept a firm grip on the main body of the toy, keeping the head with its opening right flush against her. I watched with bated breath. I had never shared anything this erotic with anyone. There was something hypnotic about it, watching the rise and fall of her chest under her pajama top and the slight movements of her body as the toy buzzed away.
"That's …” There was a little hitch in Katie's voice. "That's basically it. Make sure it's in place like this and just let it do its thing."
She looked up at me. Her eyes were dark, the pupils huge and inky black, and there was something different in the look that passed between us. "Do you want to try?" she asked breathily.
I felt my heart skip a beat. "On myself?" I said. "Or … or on you?"
The same long, charged look passed between us, and then almost on autopilot, I found myself reaching towards the black handle. My fingers closed round it, and Katie let her own hand slip away, nodding slowly. "You can press pretty hard," she said. "Just don't … don't move it.”
I nodded in agreement. My free hand moved from the bedspread to rest on her leg, and it twitched under my touch. "Okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." She nodded hastily. "Yeah, that's okay."
I held the thing against her and watched. Watched the faint tension around the strip of toned midriff visible as the hem of her top rode up, and in her hands now resting on the bed. I tightened my grip on the toy, and I felt a fingertip brush one of the control buttons. A thought occurred to me.
"So, you usually start on like a 3" I found myself saying. "Then what?"
Katie was watching me now with undisguised anticipation. "I go a little higher."
I met her eyes again and turned the control up to 5.
Even without the increase in volume, I could have gauged the extra potency from Katie's reaction. Her whole body jumped, and I had to react quickly to keep the device in position. "Oh my God …" She sat up straighter, her shoulders suddenly taut.
"Is it too much?" I asked worriedly.
"No, it's perfect!" A flustered, beaming smile crossed her face before she caught her breath once more, and she nodded forcefully at me. "Keep going!"
I wouldn't have dreamed of stopping. Katie was rocking against the pressure now, and little gasps were escaping her lips.
"Oh!"
I was mesmerized. My friend's face was flushed, her eyes wide; it was all new to me, seeing somebody else so visibly aroused, all at once excited and wracked with unbridled, physical pleasure.
Then the tension seemed to peak, and suddenly she was shuddering; her legs pressed shut around my hand as her whole body shook with what looked like an incredible orgasm. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth, smothering whatever sound was threatening to escape, and we looked at each other as she continued to shake with the force of her climax, straining under the toy that was still vibrating in my hand.
Finally, she reached down, fingers scrabbling at mine, and I felt her shut the thing off. "That's enough." Her voice was barely even a gasp. "That..." She breathed deeply, still rocking back and forth as she looked at me. "Okay, I think you've got the hang of it."
I moved the toy carefully back, feeling it part company with her labia, and set it down to one side. I had just watched another person orgasm for the first time in my life. I had just made another person orgasm for the first time in my life. I realized my own hands were shaking a little. Something had awoken within me. A hot, hungry feeling that I had never felt before.
I looked again at my friend. "Don't I get a turn?" I asked pointedly.
Katie looked at me as if hardly daring to believe what I had said. We were kneeling on the bed facing each other, her still naked from the waist down. She looked at my mouth, and I never felt more desired.
We both leaned in, and our lips crashed together. I had made out before, but never with another girl, but that now seemed like the most trifling difference. I had never had a kiss like this. It was hot, intoxicating and frantic. Katie's tongue slipped between my lips and brushed against mine. She reached round, clutching my hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me in closer to her. Our hands were all over each other, fondling, squeezing, exploring one another's bodies. It was all so new, and I almost wanted to slow down, so I could appreciate what was happening. Almost.
Katie drew back from me just a little, enough for us to exchange a look, and her left hand toyed with the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I didn't even have to think before nodding, and she grinned at me as I scooted back against the pillows, stretching my legs out and letting her drag them off. I paused for thought just long enough to appreciate that this was serious as her fingers slipped under the hem of my panties, nails gently grazing my skin, and eased them off as well. The first time someone had ever seen me naked.
"Can we take our tops off?" I suggested.
Katie raised her eyebrows. "Uh, yeah?"
I did so hastily.
Katie shrugged hers off more slowly. I watched. Her whole body was sleek and defined, and for a moment I felt a familiar pang of self-consciousness. Until she looked at me, eyes wide, and the smile that formed on her lips cut through all my doubts. "You look amazing," she said simply.
I don't think I'd ever blushed as much or smiled as broadly. And I would have told her the same, had she not chosen that moment to kiss me again. This time a little slower, her fingers softly brushing my cheek and fading into my hair as our newly naked bodies pressed easily, thrillingly together, and I hope she could have guessed from the way my hands traced over her lusciously bare skin what I would have said if she'd let me.
When she pulled back this time, her eyes were full of mischief. "So do you remember how this works?" she asks softly.
I sensed where we were going, and raised my eyebrows playfully. "Sort of, but I was a little distracted when you showed me the first time."
Katie smirked. "Then I guess I'd better show you again."
She picked up my gold toy from where I'd discarded it when I'd taken control of hers. "First comes the seal..."
She squirted the lubricant onto her fingers, and I felt a thrill go through my whole body as she reached between my legs. Her touch couldn't have been more tender, massaging the stickiness through my folds and right over my clit. Nobody had ever touched me like this. I became acutely aware for the first time of my own wetness, and the thought sent another jolt through me. "Okay?" Katie asked me gently.
"Yeah," I grinned.
She returned it with a smile of her own, then picked up the toy again. With her thumb and index finger she spread my labia with her free hand and pressed the toy carefully but firmly against my clit. "Same setting as before," she murmured.
She pressed the buttons.
I gasped. The toy certainly felt more snugly in place than it ever had before, and it had utterly transformed the sensations from it.
Where before I'd merely felt a vague, disconnected vibration, now I could feel it all: the opening vibrating around and sucking directly on my clit. My whole lower body twitched at the sudden wave of new feelings, and Katie grinned at me, a proud, knowing grin as if she'd been waiting for just this reaction.
"Good, isn't it?"
I merely nodded. Katie rested her free hand on my leg, just as I had with her, and eased it a little wider, her fingers teasing up the inside of my thigh. I was struggling to stay still and let the thing work its irresistible magic. The direct pressure on my clit was more intense than anything I'd ever managed by myself, and I breathed deeply, my fingers digging into the bedspread around me. "Well, it definitely works," I managed.
Katie smiled slyly. "Want to go a little stronger?"
"I..." The unfortunate memory of my first experience with the thing came back to me. But I knew that Katie knew what she was doing, and the excitement brewing inside me matched that on her face. "Yeah," I said.
Katie turned up the power.
Oh my God. The jump was just as strong as I remembered it, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. It was... fuck. I don't know if it was the extra layer of lubricant taking some of the edge off, or Katie's gentle, steady touch, or the fact that I was more aroused than I'd ever been in my life. I didn't know and I didn't care. It was incredible. The constant, dizzying pressure as my clit was stroked and sucked and pleasured was almost too much. I was squirming, my leg shaking in Katie's grasp, and she looked at me for a moment in concern, but I nodded again almost desperately at her.
"Don't stop." Now I was practically tearing at the sheets for support. "Don't-"
My voice cracked, and I doubt even if I could have found words for how good it all felt. Fortunately, I didn't need to. Katie moved up the bed towards me; her right leg slipped round mine as she lay partially on top me, and her lips found mine again, warm and soft. I moaned a little against her mouth. We felt so close; the weight of her body pressing against me, her leg keeping my thighs apart as they threatened to close, and I squirmed beneath her with something more than just pleasure.
It may have been minutes, or just another few seconds; I could not tell. I felt the tension inside me. It built as it filled every inch of my body. And then it exploded. I came, quivering, my hips bucking as if desperate to drain every last drop of this feeling that was coursing through me. Nothing could have prepared me for it. The intensity. The intimacy. And the gentleness of my friend beside me throughout, reminding me of who I was sharing it with. It wasn't just the release. It was a rite of passage.
It faded, finally, and Katie shut the device off, half-moving off of me and easing it out from between my legs to set it to one side. I sat up a little straighter, the occasional residual spasm of pleasure still making me twitch. "I guess you're not half a virgin anymore, then," I said weakly.
Katie smiled bashfully. "I guess not. I don't think you are, either."
She turned back to me, and the next kiss was the most tender yet. Whether because we'd got something that had been building up out of our systems, or just in slight awe and appreciation at what we'd just done, I don't know. The softness of her lips against mine and her skin under my fingertips were reason enough.
Gradually, we seemed to wind up back in our old Netflix position, albeit now intertwined a little more intimately and still a little giddy at the novelty of being naked together. I lay and looked across at her, her hair tickling my forehead, her arm around me with her hand resting on my hip, and it felt right.
"How long have you wanted to do that for?" Katie asked me.
"Longer than I probably realized," I admitted.
Katie smiled gently. "Me too."
I reached for her free hand on the bed next to mine. "So, what now?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You know..." I gestured expressively. "What are we? What was this?"
Katie looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't rush to put a label on it," she eventually replied. "Not right away. At least... definitely not until we've had sex without using anything that requires batteries."
I laughed and raised my head to look at her squarely. "So, we will be having sex again, then?"
Another more mischievous smirk played around her lips. "Well, I hope so."
I kissed her first this time, feeling lighter than air. "Me too."
It would be fair to say that I felt a little cheated; I had imagined the start of life as a freshman as being wild. Then, of course, by the time I was heading off to campus, the pandemic was in full swing. Any socializing, raunchy or otherwise, became all but impossible. There were secret parties, of course, and I certainly considered attending a few. But I guess my parents' influence had rubbed off on me more than I realized, and I stayed put in my new room, with the knowledge that someone else was having an infinitely better time than I was.
I had picked an all-female dorm on campus for a reason. University boys made me nervous. I was more wary of them than I was interested. A hook-up with one? Forget it.
As it happened, then, with my less than flourishing social life, I did get to know my neighbors in the building. I had a single room with an adjoining bathroom that I shared with another girl whose room adjoined the bathroom from the opposite side. My bathroom neighbor was a psychology major named Katie, and she was incredibly sweet. I had come a long way from home to university whereas she was from only a few miles away, and so she came much better prepared, and was very generous in lending me anything I realized I hadn't brought.
Aside from that, though, I found myself often bored and frustrated and I was stressed. Classwork was challenging, and my racy dreams of campus life were as of yet unfulfilled. One of the few bright spots was the novelty of having a bedroom with a locking door and dormmates who respected the right to privacy. So I masturbated -- often. Like I said, it was novel being able to touch myself at more or less any time of the day, and without pausing every time I thought I heard a creaking floorboard or another door opening nearby.
Of course, I still shared space, so I didn't have total free rein just to cut loose any time I wanted. Katie played for the, so I didn't yet feel quite comfortable doing anything too risqué with her just a single door away. Over time, I ended up following my usual habit of getting off just before bed, by which time everything had settled down.
Porn was something I had a bit of an odd relationship with. My parents might have been conservative, but they were happy for me to have my own laptop. My first look was out of curiosity. Over time, it became just a little indulgence, though one I had thoroughly mixed feelings about. Still, I very much enjoyed watching two attractive people get it on. And then I found myself more interested in girls having sex; it seemed more real and arousing than the typical hetero stuff. By the time I started university I had become significantly choosier and, naturally, a lot more anxious that I hadn't yet graduated to the real thing. I loved that the sex seemed genuinely nice and something I could imagine doing for myself, if I ever managed to get out of my room and meet a girl who turned me on.
Boy, did I have no idea what I was in for.
With nobody to get on my case about it, another small novel enjoyment was being able to let my living space be a little messy. I felt vindicated in this by Katie, who was prone to leaving stuff in our shared bathroom. Shampoo, shower gel, moisturizers, make-up remover, the lot. I didn't particularly mind, and didn’t want to start an argument with one of my few new friends. Then, one morning I was up earlier than usual for a rescheduled online lecture. I was brushing my teeth at the sink when I spotted something sitting just beside the stainless hot tap. It was a small matte black object that I initially mistook for a stick of deodorant. I took a closer look; it clearly wasn't deodorant. The slight lip near one end that I'd mistaken for the base of a lid was purely decorative, and on the underside, a small opening with a silver protrusion inside.
Then, belatedly, realization hit me and my heart skipped a beat. Katie must have left it in here by accident. It was okay, I told myself. She may not have been awake yet; I could simply finish up here and go for my lecture and she would never need to know that I had seen it. Good thing too, because she would be mortified. Or, perhaps, I would be mortified.
Then, her door swung open.
I had not bothered to lock it. I was only brushing my teeth, after all. "Oh," Katie said brightly. "You're up early. Did one of your --"
Her eyes, predictably, arrived exactly where I hoped she would fail to look. "Oh-" Katie looked briefly at me, then straight down at the tiled floor, blushing like mad. "Uh, sorry, I forgot to- yeah-"
She grabbed the toy and exited back to her room, determinedly not looking at me. I stood there, feeling a flush creeping across my face, a mixture of embarrassment and sympathy for my friend.
The incident remained on my mind throughout my lecture. I was grateful to be able to merely listen with my camera and mic both switched off; and I felt myself blush again whenever the image popped into my head throughout the day. The best response, I decided, was to act as if nothing had happened. Katie, surely, would want to forget about twice as much as I did.
I didn't see her again while I was cooking that evening, but I didn't have to wait much longer. My hairdryer began playing up the following day, and figuring a little embarrassment was preferable to running a dodgy appliance next to my wet hair, I braved the other side of the bathroom door and knocked softly. "Katie? Can I borrow your hairdryer?"
"Sure, come on through." Katie was sitting at her desk with her headphones on. "It's a pre-recorded lecture, don't worry," she added, shrugging them off. "Over there on the windowsill."
"Thanks." I was maybe a little more stiff than usual, but Katie seemed unbothered, and I made my way over to grab the dryer.
"No problem" she turned back to her screen.
"I'm sorry about yesterday."
I had blurted it out without even thinking. So much for carrying on like nothing had happened. I could feel the heat creeping up my face once more.
Katie looked slightly taken aback, and I winced internally. Then, to my immense relief, she half-smiled sheepishly and shook her head. "Oh, no, no, it's fine. It was my fault anyway."
I was still certainly blushing and annoyed at myself for bringing it up, but I now also felt a slight twinge of additional annoyance on top. "Well, I'm sorry anyway," I said. "Hey, since lockdown has probably killed off hook-ups, we're probably not the only people it's happened to."
I thought I was pushing it there, but Katie merely laughed and nodded. "Yeah," she agreed. "I would probably have brought more if I'd known I was going to be flying solo."
I couldn't quite believe I was having this conversation, but I giggled and shrugged. Well, I wanted to loosen up a bit after getting away from home, hadn't I? "Good thing you live within driving distance," I said. "I had to take a flight to get here."
We cracked a few jokes before I took the dryer and left her to return to her studies. My pulse was still going a little quicker than normal, but I didn't mind much. Mainly I was just relieved that I wasn't going to be tiptoeing around my nearest neighbor -- and nearest friend here, if I was honest. And she was right. It was nothing to really be embarrassed about, when you broke it down. Hell, I'm sure it could easily have been me, if I owned anything like that. I didn't, of course; attempting to smuggle the parcel past my parents would have been a nightmare.
And then it hit me, for the first time, that I no longer needed to. I paused with the dryer in my hand. I had received little mail on campus so far, but I knew the system: everyone had the right to claim a locker, and postal deliveries could be mailed directly there and then collected at our own discretion. Anything I wanted to order I could do so entirely inconspicuously. I filed that little revelation away in the back of my mind. I wasn't quite ready to act on it yet, but I certainly wasn't going to forget it, either.
That conversation with Katie turned out not to be a mere one-off. She was more relaxed in talking about these things than any of my old friends. And I, had things I had been waiting to get off my chest without realizing it for a long time. It was something wholly new to me, having someone to talk to who was genuinely confident and comfortable discussing sexual topics. Not just confident and comfortable, in fact, but sweet and approachable. Having shuffled awkwardly around the issue for some time, I eventually admitted to her that I was still a virgin, genuinely worried that she might laugh or, even worse, take pity on me. But she merely shrugged and nodded calmly. "That's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I guess not." Even with her nonchalance, I couldn't help but cringe a little. "You know that's easier for you to say, though. It's hard not to be self-conscious about it."
"I know." She reached out and brushed my shoulder affectionately, and it surprised me. I wasn't all that used to affection from friends. Come to think of it, I wasn't all that used to affection from anybody. "But you'll get there. And you don't have to rush. I'll let you in on a secret: when I lost my virginity, it sucked. Seriously, it was so underwhelming, and I was too shy to say anything- like I was worrying about it: 'am I bad at this?' 'Is this just what sex is always like?'"
"Really?" I winced sympathetically.
Katie nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. So there's definitely nothing wrong with hanging on for a little while for the right person. Cuz there's no point in being with someone who doesn't really care whether you're actually enjoying yourself."
I smiled a little. "That sounds like a good T-shirt quote."
She smiled back. "Thanks."
Hanging out with Katie made me feel a little more comfortable in my own skin for the first time since arriving at university- or perhaps for the first time since I'd gotten old enough to have these worries, really. On a whim one evening, I opened a private browsing window and began perusing. I wasn't going to go for anything too out-there. Just something to spice things up for myself. I went on the first and most reputable-looking site that came up and was greeted by a page of dildos. I cringed once more. The flesh-colored ones made me uncomfortable. The non-flesh colored ones made me uncomfortable. Why were they all so veiny? I shook my head and moved onto the next page.
Vibrators. I found a drop-down menu and sorted by the most popular. Right at the top of the list, a familiar sight popped up. A small round device, more modest than most of the others. I was pretty sure that it was the same toy that Katie had left by the sink. I felt a little awkward still even at the memory. But the star rating was impressive, and it was probably just about within my price range... I clicked on it curiously.
I did a little more reading. It came with dual vibrating and clit-sucking functions, charged off the mains, was waterproof and came with ten speeds and patterns. My cursor hovered over the 'add to cart' button. Was I really going to do this?
Yes. Yes, I bloody well was. I checked and double-checked the ad and reviews that my order would come in a plain unmarked package, hurriedly keyed in my details – “no, you certainly may not remember them for next time.” A moment later the confirmation email arrived in my inbox. I felt my nerves jangling, but I felt an unmistakable glow of satisfaction as well.
I ordered it in rose gold, though. Not black. That would have reminded me a little too much of Katie. Which would have been weird. Definitely. I closed over my laptop, wondering why I was flushing again all of a sudden.
Katie and I continued to keep one another company. It was nice, having someone even to do what little mundane stuff we could like cook together or watch a show holed up in one of our rooms. I told her a little more about my own background, my tense relationship with my parents and my nerdy reputation at school. I was a little jealous of Katie's own family situation, which sounded immeasurably warmer and more relaxed. Katie's confident aura wasn't just because she'd seldom been told what to do by anyone; it was because she had had to figure it out in large part by herself.
The most vulnerable I saw her, meanwhile, was on one occasion when the topic turned back – and it almost always did -- to sex and relationships, and I grumbled once again about my lack of action. "You'll be fine," Katie repeated, waving her hand. "You'll know when it feels right. It doesn't change you in the meantime."
I heard her say much the same before, but there was something a little too airy about the way she'd waved her arm, and she wasn't quite meeting my eyes. I looked at her, unsure over whether I should broach the topic or just leave it, but the decision was taken for me as she turned back and caught sight of my gaze, and to my surprise seemed to shrink a little before me. "Okay, maybe I'm projecting a little," she said.
"Projecting – what do you mean?"
Katie furrowed her brow. "Okay, I... I know I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm actually bisexual" she said in a sudden rush.
"Oh" I nodded in surprise, then did so again more firmly. "That's totally okay! Why didn't you say? Not that you're obliged to, obviously, but if you felt comfortable... wait, you didn't think I'd have a problem with it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no!" Katie said with a shake of her head. "No, I didn’t think you would have a problem with it that way. I just..." She winced a little and rested her chin on her hand, looking suddenly awkward. "I haven't told that many people," she said. "And it's basically because I'm worried they won't take it seriously. I've had boyfriends, but I've never had a girlfriend, I've never dated or slept with a girl or done anything more than just kiss. I've always known that I liked girls even better than boys, but I haven't met a girl I wanted to take that step with yet."
I felt my heart contract in sympathy. "Well, I take you seriously," I said firmly. "I mean I've never even had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Nobody should act like they know your own sexuality better than you do. You're totally valid."
"Thanks." Katie managed a brief smile, but her eyes remained sad. "But anyway, yeah, that's why I don’t bring it up unless someone asks." Her cheeks were now red, and she shifted her gaze to the floor. "Sometimes I sort of feel like I'm still half a virgin, I guess, and it makes me shy about talking about it. Sorry, I know I'm being stupid..."
She lapsed into silence. I felt poorly equipped to be the one giving advice and comfort, but remembering how her support had made me feel when I doubted myself, I reached out and laid my hand gently but firmly over hers. I gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. There was still a hint of reservation in her expression, but she nodded slightly, and her smile this time was a little more like her usual self. "Thanks."
That conversation marked a slight change between us. I felt now a little less like just the timid one that Katie had graciously taken under her wing, and more like we were supporting one another, in a peculiarly new chapter of our lives. I felt touched, as well, that she'd trusted me, and I wanted her to know it, and know that she was as valid as she made me feel about myself.
We didn't see quite so much of each other for the next little while. The term was drawing to a close and deadlines were approaching, leaving us both pretty busy. I was once again in need of a way to de-stress. Right on cue, it arrived. I got a notification in my inbox: my online purchase had reached my locker.
Even with the anonymity and the fact that yes, it had indeed arrived in as plain a package as could be wished for, I still made a point of turning up as early in the morning as possible, when the place was practically deserted. I picked up the package and crammed it straight into my backpack and headed back to my room with butterflies in my stomach -- both embarrassment and excitement. The package lay there in my bag for the rest of the day, before I finally felt comfortable opening the box and laying the contents out on the bed. There it was, complete with its little charging cable, though the website had promised it would arrive with a full battery to start with. Okay then. Time to explore.
Ensuring my doors were properly locked, I removed my skirt, slid my panties halfway down my thighs and settled into my usual spot propped up against the pillows on my bed. I didn't really feel in the mood for accompaniment tonight, and I instead closed my eyes and let my imagination wander through its usual fantasies.
I settled gradually into my usual familiar circular rhythm with my index and middle fingers against my clitoris; I was still a little tense, but I did my best to relax and let the slow, satisfying sensations wash over me. It took a while, but eventually I felt ready, nerves jangling, to reach for the gold toy beside me and take it in my hand.
Cautiously, I tested the strength of the vibrations against my thigh. Was that really it? No, of course, that was the lowest setting. This was all new to me. I dialed it up a little and flinched at how quickly the vibrations moved from slow to intense; I hastily dialed it back down. There, that felt about right. Recomposing myself, I took the toy and settled it in place with the opening at one end against my clit.
It felt... okay. The sensation of something buzzing there was going to take some getting used to, but I did my best to settle back down and soak it up. It would take a little time, I guess. I waited.
And waited. And... huh? Something wasn’t quite right. I tried moving the device around a little, testing a few different angles, but all without success. It didn't feel bad by any means -- the tingling sensation was enjoyable, but still... The reviews of the product had been gushing, describing pleasure of semi-believable proportions. I hadn't forked out what little spending money I had just to feel nice – I wanted to come. I turned up the power a couple of notches again to see.
Nope. No, that was too sensitive. I flinched and instinctively shut the thing off entirely, my eyes snapping open. Okay. That was okay. It was early days yet. I'd figure it out. It had worked for everybody else, after all. Including Katie
That thought, of course, made me blush again, along with bringing a feeling in my stomach that I wasn't quite familiar with. I set the gold toy aside. I no longer felt in the mood to go on even without it. I got redressed unhappily and tried to think of other things.
I spent the next couple of days gearing myself up mentally for another attempt. I unleashed my nerdy tendencies once more and hopped back on the website I had originally found the toy on to read some of the comments. None of the descriptions they gave were particularly helpful. The only topic of conversation surrounding my purchase were from other women remarking on how hard they had climaxed with it. I sighed.
As I went to close the browser window, something else caught my eye. It was in the “related videos” section. Not one, but two girls, sitting side by side on a bed and using similar toys together. Still shots from the video thumbnail looped over and over. Giggling, legs pressing together, backs arching in pleasure.
I stopped and closed the window suddenly. That same odd, unbidden feeling in the pit of my stomach was back. I sat and took a deep breath. It was just curiosity, I decided. Maybe a little envy. But only because I had not yet got the toy working for myself. That was all it was. I closed my laptop once more and shook my head firmly.**
I made a couple more tries in the next few days, but my heart wasn't really into it. I had enough work to do without allowing masturbation to become a chore as well. But I felt a twinge of indignation every time I opened my top drawer and saw the little gold tapered cylinder sitting there.
"Hey, are you okay?"
It was Katie. We were sitting together on her bed in our pajamas, her laptop at our feet with another show playing. It was one of those rainy Saturday afternoons where neither of us felt like doing much and Sunday seemed like plenty of time for our pre-seminar readings.
"Sorry," I said with a shrug, enjoying the way our shoulders brushed together. "Daydream."
"Ooh, about what?"
"Don't you try and analyze me," I warned, though I couldn't help but smile exasperatedly.
"You just looked far away, was all!" She shrugged again in acquiescence. "You don't have to tell me."
As had often been the case in the early days of our friendship, I both wanted to and didn't want to. I hesitated. The words embarrassed me even to think, and yet I was sure she wouldn't judge me. "It's something really dumb," I ventured.
"So, not a big deal, then," Katie countered.
I smiled again in spite of myself. "Do you promise not to laugh?"
I steeled myself and went on. "Okay. A little while ago I ordered one of those … sucking vibrator things, and I can't really get it to work."
Katie covered her mouth, and I could see she was making a valiant effort not to giggle, but it slipped out regardless and I turned away as my face went bright red.
"Sorry!" She reached out and brushed my arm reassuringly. "Okay, I'm sorry, I just- that's just not what I was expecting. Right."
I turned back to her in exasperation, though I was beginning to laugh myself, still embarrassed but once again relieved that it was now out there. "Is it the same as the one I have?" she asked.
I nodded. "I think so. Look, I'd just never been able to buy anything like that before! I'd have been terrified of my parents going snooping in my room and finding it-"
"It's okay, it's okay!" Katie smiled sympathetically. "You don't have to justify it to me." We exchanged slightly sheepish but fond looks, and a moment passed, the tail end of our show still playing in the background.
"So, what's going wrong with it, then?" Katie asked softly.
"I don't know." I shook my head. "I mean it works, but it doesn't do much for me."
I was certainly still a little flushed, but not as much as I would have been even a couple of weeks ago. This wasn't quite my usual comfort zone. But that was something I liked about Katie. She made leaving my comfort zone feel less daunting. More like an adventure.
Then she spoke again, in a quite matter-of-fact voice. "Do you want me to show you?"
It took a moment for me to really process the question. "Show me?" I repeated. "Like how to do it?"
"Sure, if it would help."
I looked at her, wondering if she was about to grin at me for falling for a joke, but her eyes were entirely serious and calm. Even for two very open friends, this was surely a bit much. This wasn't what normal friends did, was it?
“Oh, I don’t know…”
But I'd been fretting about being normal all my life, and I was sick of it. I remembered what we'd said before about judgments, and then my own words, about being kind in our assessment of ourselves.
"Okay," I nodded. "Show me."
My heart was skipping along inside my chest, but I sat up to let Katie out, and she moved her laptop to her desk before going to her own drawer.
"Do you want to go get yours too?" she suggested. "So we know they're the same."
"Sure." I made my way a little too quickly back through our shared bathroom and into my bedroom, grabbing the little gold toy of my own. We even kept it in the same drawer and everything.
I returned to find Katie with the blinds drawn, and with her own black model in one hand and a clear bottle with a white nozzle in the other. Sure enough, both hers and mine were identical except for color.
"Okay," she said. "I'll show you what I usually do, anyway."
She made her way back to the bed and sat down, setting the black toy and the bottle beside her. I watched, feeling a hot flush around my collar but not even remotely tempted to avert my eyes. Katie shimmied out of her pajama shorts and then her panties. I suppose Katie may have been more comfortable with undressing in front of other people by now with her sporting background, but this was surely something else entirely.
"So to start with" she said, "I like to add a little bit of lube, just because it helps create a kind of seal. It still sometimes takes a little fiddling around to get the top part to go, but it's supposed to cover your clitoris..."
She looked up from what she was doing. "Come on, come over so you can see."
I had been almost spellbound where I was standing, but I moved forward and took a seat on the bed, right next to Katie, and she adjusted her position so I could see exactly what was going on. She squirted a dash of the clear gel-like substance onto her fingers and massaged it carefully through the folds right around her clitoris. I watched, feeling my mouth go dry. It was surreal to be watching something that ought to have been so private, and for it to be my friend. We'd been sitting watching Netflix all of ten minutes ago, and now we were here.
"Okay." Katie was done with her prep. "And now I put it on, like this, and pretty much just hold it exactly there. Don't move it around, just keep it there. You'll feel it when it's properly in place."
She spread her lips fully, and adjusted the device until it was directly in place, just as she said. "And now," she said, "I usually start on about a 2 or a 3 out of 10; I've never gone above 7, and I usually like this pattern here."
I heard a faint buzz, and the toy whirred into life. Katie caught her breath. "Yeah," she said. "Some of the other patterns are nice, but this is the one I use most of the time..."
She kept a firm grip on the main body of the toy, keeping the head with its opening right flush against her. I watched with bated breath. I had never shared anything this erotic with anyone. There was something hypnotic about it, watching the rise and fall of her chest under her pajama top and the slight movements of her body as the toy buzzed away.
"That's …” There was a little hitch in Katie's voice. "That's basically it. Make sure it's in place like this and just let it do its thing."
She looked up at me. Her eyes were dark, the pupils huge and inky black, and there was something different in the look that passed between us. "Do you want to try?" she asked breathily.
I felt my heart skip a beat. "On myself?" I said. "Or … or on you?"
The same long, charged look passed between us, and then almost on autopilot, I found myself reaching towards the black handle. My fingers closed round it, and Katie let her own hand slip away, nodding slowly. "You can press pretty hard," she said. "Just don't … don't move it.”
I nodded in agreement. My free hand moved from the bedspread to rest on her leg, and it twitched under my touch. "Okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." She nodded hastily. "Yeah, that's okay."
I held the thing against her and watched. Watched the faint tension around the strip of toned midriff visible as the hem of her top rode up, and in her hands now resting on the bed. I tightened my grip on the toy, and I felt a fingertip brush one of the control buttons. A thought occurred to me.
"So, you usually start on like a 3" I found myself saying. "Then what?"
Katie was watching me now with undisguised anticipation. "I go a little higher."
I met her eyes again and turned the control up to 5.
Even without the increase in volume, I could have gauged the extra potency from Katie's reaction. Her whole body jumped, and I had to react quickly to keep the device in position. "Oh my God …" She sat up straighter, her shoulders suddenly taut.
"Is it too much?" I asked worriedly.
"No, it's perfect!" A flustered, beaming smile crossed her face before she caught her breath once more, and she nodded forcefully at me. "Keep going!"
I wouldn't have dreamed of stopping. Katie was rocking against the pressure now, and little gasps were escaping her lips.
"Oh!"
I was mesmerized. My friend's face was flushed, her eyes wide; it was all new to me, seeing somebody else so visibly aroused, all at once excited and wracked with unbridled, physical pleasure.
Then the tension seemed to peak, and suddenly she was shuddering; her legs pressed shut around my hand as her whole body shook with what looked like an incredible orgasm. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth, smothering whatever sound was threatening to escape, and we looked at each other as she continued to shake with the force of her climax, straining under the toy that was still vibrating in my hand.
Finally, she reached down, fingers scrabbling at mine, and I felt her shut the thing off. "That's enough." Her voice was barely even a gasp. "That..." She breathed deeply, still rocking back and forth as she looked at me. "Okay, I think you've got the hang of it."
I moved the toy carefully back, feeling it part company with her labia, and set it down to one side. I had just watched another person orgasm for the first time in my life. I had just made another person orgasm for the first time in my life. I realized my own hands were shaking a little. Something had awoken within me. A hot, hungry feeling that I had never felt before.
I looked again at my friend. "Don't I get a turn?" I asked pointedly.
Katie looked at me as if hardly daring to believe what I had said. We were kneeling on the bed facing each other, her still naked from the waist down. She looked at my mouth, and I never felt more desired.
We both leaned in, and our lips crashed together. I had made out before, but never with another girl, but that now seemed like the most trifling difference. I had never had a kiss like this. It was hot, intoxicating and frantic. Katie's tongue slipped between my lips and brushed against mine. She reached round, clutching my hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me in closer to her. Our hands were all over each other, fondling, squeezing, exploring one another's bodies. It was all so new, and I almost wanted to slow down, so I could appreciate what was happening. Almost.
Katie drew back from me just a little, enough for us to exchange a look, and her left hand toyed with the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I didn't even have to think before nodding, and she grinned at me as I scooted back against the pillows, stretching my legs out and letting her drag them off. I paused for thought just long enough to appreciate that this was serious as her fingers slipped under the hem of my panties, nails gently grazing my skin, and eased them off as well. The first time someone had ever seen me naked.
"Can we take our tops off?" I suggested.
Katie raised her eyebrows. "Uh, yeah?"
I did so hastily.
Katie shrugged hers off more slowly. I watched. Her whole body was sleek and defined, and for a moment I felt a familiar pang of self-consciousness. Until she looked at me, eyes wide, and the smile that formed on her lips cut through all my doubts. "You look amazing," she said simply.
I don't think I'd ever blushed as much or smiled as broadly. And I would have told her the same, had she not chosen that moment to kiss me again. This time a little slower, her fingers softly brushing my cheek and fading into my hair as our newly naked bodies pressed easily, thrillingly together, and I hope she could have guessed from the way my hands traced over her lusciously bare skin what I would have said if she'd let me.
When she pulled back this time, her eyes were full of mischief. "So do you remember how this works?" she asks softly.
I sensed where we were going, and raised my eyebrows playfully. "Sort of, but I was a little distracted when you showed me the first time."
Katie smirked. "Then I guess I'd better show you again."
She picked up my gold toy from where I'd discarded it when I'd taken control of hers. "First comes the seal..."
She squirted the lubricant onto her fingers, and I felt a thrill go through my whole body as she reached between my legs. Her touch couldn't have been more tender, massaging the stickiness through my folds and right over my clit. Nobody had ever touched me like this. I became acutely aware for the first time of my own wetness, and the thought sent another jolt through me. "Okay?" Katie asked me gently.
"Yeah," I grinned.
She returned it with a smile of her own, then picked up the toy again. With her thumb and index finger she spread my labia with her free hand and pressed the toy carefully but firmly against my clit. "Same setting as before," she murmured.
She pressed the buttons.
I gasped. The toy certainly felt more snugly in place than it ever had before, and it had utterly transformed the sensations from it.
Where before I'd merely felt a vague, disconnected vibration, now I could feel it all: the opening vibrating around and sucking directly on my clit. My whole lower body twitched at the sudden wave of new feelings, and Katie grinned at me, a proud, knowing grin as if she'd been waiting for just this reaction.
"Good, isn't it?"
I merely nodded. Katie rested her free hand on my leg, just as I had with her, and eased it a little wider, her fingers teasing up the inside of my thigh. I was struggling to stay still and let the thing work its irresistible magic. The direct pressure on my clit was more intense than anything I'd ever managed by myself, and I breathed deeply, my fingers digging into the bedspread around me. "Well, it definitely works," I managed.
Katie smiled slyly. "Want to go a little stronger?"
"I..." The unfortunate memory of my first experience with the thing came back to me. But I knew that Katie knew what she was doing, and the excitement brewing inside me matched that on her face. "Yeah," I said.
Katie turned up the power.
Oh my God. The jump was just as strong as I remembered it, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. It was... fuck. I don't know if it was the extra layer of lubricant taking some of the edge off, or Katie's gentle, steady touch, or the fact that I was more aroused than I'd ever been in my life. I didn't know and I didn't care. It was incredible. The constant, dizzying pressure as my clit was stroked and sucked and pleasured was almost too much. I was squirming, my leg shaking in Katie's grasp, and she looked at me for a moment in concern, but I nodded again almost desperately at her.
"Don't stop." Now I was practically tearing at the sheets for support. "Don't-"
My voice cracked, and I doubt even if I could have found words for how good it all felt. Fortunately, I didn't need to. Katie moved up the bed towards me; her right leg slipped round mine as she lay partially on top me, and her lips found mine again, warm and soft. I moaned a little against her mouth. We felt so close; the weight of her body pressing against me, her leg keeping my thighs apart as they threatened to close, and I squirmed beneath her with something more than just pleasure.
It may have been minutes, or just another few seconds; I could not tell. I felt the tension inside me. It built as it filled every inch of my body. And then it exploded. I came, quivering, my hips bucking as if desperate to drain every last drop of this feeling that was coursing through me. Nothing could have prepared me for it. The intensity. The intimacy. And the gentleness of my friend beside me throughout, reminding me of who I was sharing it with. It wasn't just the release. It was a rite of passage.
It faded, finally, and Katie shut the device off, half-moving off of me and easing it out from between my legs to set it to one side. I sat up a little straighter, the occasional residual spasm of pleasure still making me twitch. "I guess you're not half a virgin anymore, then," I said weakly.
Katie smiled bashfully. "I guess not. I don't think you are, either."
She turned back to me, and the next kiss was the most tender yet. Whether because we'd got something that had been building up out of our systems, or just in slight awe and appreciation at what we'd just done, I don't know. The softness of her lips against mine and her skin under my fingertips were reason enough.
Gradually, we seemed to wind up back in our old Netflix position, albeit now intertwined a little more intimately and still a little giddy at the novelty of being naked together. I lay and looked across at her, her hair tickling my forehead, her arm around me with her hand resting on my hip, and it felt right.
"How long have you wanted to do that for?" Katie asked me.
"Longer than I probably realized," I admitted.
Katie smiled gently. "Me too."
I reached for her free hand on the bed next to mine. "So, what now?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You know..." I gestured expressively. "What are we? What was this?"
Katie looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't rush to put a label on it," she eventually replied. "Not right away. At least... definitely not until we've had sex without using anything that requires batteries."
I laughed and raised my head to look at her squarely. "So, we will be having sex again, then?"
Another more mischievous smirk played around her lips. "Well, I hope so."
I kissed her first this time, feeling lighter than air. "Me too."
2 months ago
