IF I DID IT
Sunday afternoon. Lazing it. Worrying about tomorrow. Of course worrying. Ain't nobody here but us chickens. Humph. Just realized that will always be 'too soon.' Anyway first blog entry yay!
So every time I come on xHam right off the bat I'm looking for the perfect scene. It's the best kind of addiction to have really. I mean, since when has this in higher and higher doses ever been unhealthy? If you've begun searching for your answer to that question, somehow ironically, we're in a jam you & I. Not a lot of 1000ml hits left out there! It's true it's really true.
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
― Maya Angelou
And there it is, your last irony of the day. Gotta be a better way to find great porn 'round here than offering money (if you don't know by now that I'm offering cash for great porn, go to my profile page, look under section About Me... then start scratching your heads because apparently nobody else is doing this.) Cross that. There IS a better way. But I don't think y'all are quite ready for that just yet (or maybe my shy ass ain't ready?) So, barring any porn apocalypse competition dreams come true, and for the sake of the always to be continued journey that is my habit, the "Cash 4 Gold" will remain. Must keep all funnels open as they don't say. In the meantime. Let me in. And let me show you (tell you) the correct way to Babylon. You filthy filthy whore.
Yes THERE IS a correct way to make porn and a terribly insulting way to make porn. There are rules to this. Don't believe me huh. Aight. Keep on then. Yeah. Keep looking in the camera with your mouth slightly open, fella. Yeah that's hot yeah. No I'm not thinking about old people driving. That doesn't remind me of a bitch ass nigga*** slowly approaching with a question at all. Yes get all up in my grill you lookie lou. You must do this all the time. And you. Yeah keep laughing, doll. Yeah. Laugh at everything that's happening in this crazy doc. All the while taking absolutely nothing about the dick serious. Doesn't bring back bad memories.
Now that you've kissed my sarcastic ass thoroughly there is only 1 thing your face or anything else on you should be expressing in a porno: overwhelming consumption. As if to tell me your oh so lucky viewer you have no ******* clue how great this feels. Sounds simple enough right. IT IS. You'd be surprised how many have screwed this one thing completely up with cue cards. Which brings us to the 2nd thing all things of greatness must have: sexual honesty. We're sensitive creatures. We know when your fibbing. You like that you like that do you like that you like that you like that you AHEM SO if you want the overwhelming consumption thing to ring true to those watching at home it's painfully obvious you must be somewhat attracted to your co-star before you two decide to move in together - that's what we say in the biz when two stars shoot a scene. Just another freebie! Right, 3rd thing: attract & focus. What ya got big boobs? Long legs? A long nose? Everything? Fab! Whatever that thing is you got that got the asses in the seats you should draw attention to it and stay focused on it for the sake of your audience. There is nothing more frustrating then clicking on those "big butt" videos only to find a cameraman with a hard-on all over the place and nowhere. Seems those vids always end once he's finally steadied himself from all that nothing going on destroy those lame clips already nobody likes 'em. And oh yeah one more thing. The most important thing above all else. Let's recap what greatness looks like once more.
1) Your bodies (plural) consumed in ecstasy.
2) Don't say you're coming if you're really not.
3) Shoot the attraction and stay on it!
& 4) The Most Important Thing All Great Scenes Must Have Above All Else.
An ending.
Whoops sorry.
biggermanhere! [smallermanthere!]
PS: To everyone who's sent stuff in to me beforehand. Bless ya. Now you know.
To everybody else. You have no more excuses.
***hey it's cool baby it's cool!
*******the f word.
So every time I come on xHam right off the bat I'm looking for the perfect scene. It's the best kind of addiction to have really. I mean, since when has this in higher and higher doses ever been unhealthy? If you've begun searching for your answer to that question, somehow ironically, we're in a jam you & I. Not a lot of 1000ml hits left out there! It's true it's really true.
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
― Maya Angelou
And there it is, your last irony of the day. Gotta be a better way to find great porn 'round here than offering money (if you don't know by now that I'm offering cash for great porn, go to my profile page, look under section About Me... then start scratching your heads because apparently nobody else is doing this.) Cross that. There IS a better way. But I don't think y'all are quite ready for that just yet (or maybe my shy ass ain't ready?) So, barring any porn apocalypse competition dreams come true, and for the sake of the always to be continued journey that is my habit, the "Cash 4 Gold" will remain. Must keep all funnels open as they don't say. In the meantime. Let me in. And let me show you (tell you) the correct way to Babylon. You filthy filthy whore.
Yes THERE IS a correct way to make porn and a terribly insulting way to make porn. There are rules to this. Don't believe me huh. Aight. Keep on then. Yeah. Keep looking in the camera with your mouth slightly open, fella. Yeah that's hot yeah. No I'm not thinking about old people driving. That doesn't remind me of a bitch ass nigga*** slowly approaching with a question at all. Yes get all up in my grill you lookie lou. You must do this all the time. And you. Yeah keep laughing, doll. Yeah. Laugh at everything that's happening in this crazy doc. All the while taking absolutely nothing about the dick serious. Doesn't bring back bad memories.
Now that you've kissed my sarcastic ass thoroughly there is only 1 thing your face or anything else on you should be expressing in a porno: overwhelming consumption. As if to tell me your oh so lucky viewer you have no ******* clue how great this feels. Sounds simple enough right. IT IS. You'd be surprised how many have screwed this one thing completely up with cue cards. Which brings us to the 2nd thing all things of greatness must have: sexual honesty. We're sensitive creatures. We know when your fibbing. You like that you like that do you like that you like that you like that you AHEM SO if you want the overwhelming consumption thing to ring true to those watching at home it's painfully obvious you must be somewhat attracted to your co-star before you two decide to move in together - that's what we say in the biz when two stars shoot a scene. Just another freebie! Right, 3rd thing: attract & focus. What ya got big boobs? Long legs? A long nose? Everything? Fab! Whatever that thing is you got that got the asses in the seats you should draw attention to it and stay focused on it for the sake of your audience. There is nothing more frustrating then clicking on those "big butt" videos only to find a cameraman with a hard-on all over the place and nowhere. Seems those vids always end once he's finally steadied himself from all that nothing going on destroy those lame clips already nobody likes 'em. And oh yeah one more thing. The most important thing above all else. Let's recap what greatness looks like once more.
1) Your bodies (plural) consumed in ecstasy.
2) Don't say you're coming if you're really not.
3) Shoot the attraction and stay on it!
& 4) The Most Important Thing All Great Scenes Must Have Above All Else.
An ending.
Whoops sorry.
biggermanhere! [smallermanthere!]
PS: To everyone who's sent stuff in to me beforehand. Bless ya. Now you know.
To everybody else. You have no more excuses.
***hey it's cool baby it's cool!
*******the f word.
13 years ago
