Being Cuckolded #29 When you stop being a man. Pt1
It's important to learn the finer points of being a good cuckold. Anybody can enjoy the fantasy, but when you accept the lifestyle, you have to work hard to make your wife happy. Because assuming she still cares about you (hubby/boyfriend) there will be doubt, guilt and a fear of hurting your relationship.
Any cuckolding relationship that works, works because the wife and the cuck love each other. It doesn't work if they hate each other, that's just the last step before a divorce.
So just as the hubby cuck may have doubts and fears, so too does the wife have doubts and fears. This is obviously damaging to your wife's ability to enjoy her freedom and sexuality.
That's when you have to work to make sure she knows it's ok. You have to stop being a man about it, accept your wife needs more satisfaction than you can give her and that's fine. You want her to be satisfied, it matters to you that your wife gets what she needs. Until you can accept you aren't a sexually satisfying male, you can't help your wife enjoy herself with real men.
She has to stop thinking of you as a husband, you don't have to wear a dress and be a gay queen, you just have to stop being "male" all the time. You can't sulk or be upset around her, you can't be negative or doubt your conviction to be the cuckold. A cage helps with this a lot, when you can't play with yourself you tend to be more constructive with that frustration, as you try to distract the need you have.
Focusing outward when masturbation isn't an option, for many cuckold husbands this will be trying to please their wives so they can be allowed to masturbate/cum. In my case it's more about making sure my wife is always satisfied in whatever activity she undertakes. I love her, I want her to be happy and carefree.
Free her from the burden of worrying about housework, by ensuring you do it. Vacuum frequently, dust, wash laundry, iron clothes, maintain the house immaculately. It's your job to free your wife's worries from the day to day concerns of the household. Show her you can do it, show her you're working so she doesn't need to. Give her time to enjoy herself without secondary concerns.
Take an interest in her clothes/jewelry, what she wears, what she likes, always go shopping with her, pay attention and learn to be thoughtful about her choices. When she asks your opinion, give it, highlight what a man would enjoy seeing her wear. Discus how she looks, ask her how she feels wearing it. Find out why she likes what she likes, explain why you like it. Help her to feel good about her choices.
Remember "slutty" is a fantasy look, not an every day one. Your wife may enjoy dressing slutty for excitement or sex, but she doesn't want to look like that every day, she wants to be classy, feminine, attractive but also respected. It's as important other women like the way she dresses as it is men.
Many women already know how to achieve this, they have years of learning, pay attention to that experience, consider every choice she makes and understand why. Despite that, your wife is open to some influence from you, suggesting she wear something "special" or even not at all occasionally will heighten her arousal, if you make her aware of why she should wear it.
The no panties thing is a good one, it has a powerful vulnerability to it. Try not to suggest it all the time though, if it becomes an every day occurrence she will lose the unusual arousal it inspires. Stockings are another good suggestion, especially if you combine them with no panties. I always joke she's wearing runway lights to guide a man home.
The no bra idea is less attractive to women, usually more about comfort than sexuality, most wives aren't capable of defying gravity and making them aware of that isn't always beneficial to helping her feel sexy. You can get away with it sometimes but often it will have the opposite effect by making your wife feel "not dressed properly" or looking not right.
You can look at other women now you're a cuckold, your wife doesn't see them as a threat. Equally you encourage your wife to enjoy looking at men, she is available to them now, find out what she likes, look for men that share those features and point them out to her. It's your job to get your wife what she wants, not what you want.
Your wife is beautiful, she is sexy, she is everything a man would want. Make sure she knows and feels this, learn how to compliment her in a variety of ways, always use sparingly, too often and it won't mean anything. You can mix up what you compliment though, hair, makeup, perfume, clothes etc.
Remember her hang ups and learn to counter every negative feeling she has quickly, by reinforcing her positive attributes. Part of helping her choose clothes is making her confident she looks amazing, don't fuck that up by not following through and noticing what she wears now that she is making an effort.
It's your job to prepare your wife for a man, help her bathe, manicure her nails, shave her, apply moisturizer or lotion as she desires. Help her become the beauty you would want. A woman who feels confident is sexy, a woman who is sexy is ready to have fun. You will learn to enjoy this time together, not just because you find her body sexy but also because of what the ceremony is meant to achieve.
When you know the kind of men she enjoys, when you help her look and feel great about herself, now you have to make it easy for it to happen. She has to see you as...for want of a better word, a friend. Someone she can talk about men with, someone she can laugh and giggle with whenever she notices an attractive guy. You aren't her husband anymore, she doesn't have to watch what she says to avoid hurting your feelings.
Encourage her to explore her sexuality, the truth is most men are easy to entice. If she is looking good, feeling confident then she can have most men. It's your job to help her achieve that. Every successful sexual encounter will reinforce your wife's freedom and status. She will grow in confidence and you will see her sexuality blossom.
If she gets knocked back, remember to be bitchy together, his loss, probably a tiny dick anyway etc. Remember you're on her side, you want her to succeed at attracting the men she wants to be with. If she is shy or lacks confidence, it's your job to go ask for her, you'll enjoy the humiliation of doing it and your wife gets the excitement of seeing you do it. Always get your wife's permission before you ask, remember what she wants, not what you want.
It takes time to learn to be a good cuckold, you can watch it in porn for a few minutes or read about it in a story but to live it, you need to be constantly aware of what you are, constantly looking after your wife, protecting her from negative experiences and encouraging the positive ones.
Next blog entry I'll talk about how you reinforce your wife's sexual satisfaction during cuckolding. Now she has the confidence to go ahead with it, you have to ice the cake, so to speak.
Any cuckolding relationship that works, works because the wife and the cuck love each other. It doesn't work if they hate each other, that's just the last step before a divorce.
So just as the hubby cuck may have doubts and fears, so too does the wife have doubts and fears. This is obviously damaging to your wife's ability to enjoy her freedom and sexuality.
That's when you have to work to make sure she knows it's ok. You have to stop being a man about it, accept your wife needs more satisfaction than you can give her and that's fine. You want her to be satisfied, it matters to you that your wife gets what she needs. Until you can accept you aren't a sexually satisfying male, you can't help your wife enjoy herself with real men.
She has to stop thinking of you as a husband, you don't have to wear a dress and be a gay queen, you just have to stop being "male" all the time. You can't sulk or be upset around her, you can't be negative or doubt your conviction to be the cuckold. A cage helps with this a lot, when you can't play with yourself you tend to be more constructive with that frustration, as you try to distract the need you have.
Focusing outward when masturbation isn't an option, for many cuckold husbands this will be trying to please their wives so they can be allowed to masturbate/cum. In my case it's more about making sure my wife is always satisfied in whatever activity she undertakes. I love her, I want her to be happy and carefree.
Free her from the burden of worrying about housework, by ensuring you do it. Vacuum frequently, dust, wash laundry, iron clothes, maintain the house immaculately. It's your job to free your wife's worries from the day to day concerns of the household. Show her you can do it, show her you're working so she doesn't need to. Give her time to enjoy herself without secondary concerns.
Take an interest in her clothes/jewelry, what she wears, what she likes, always go shopping with her, pay attention and learn to be thoughtful about her choices. When she asks your opinion, give it, highlight what a man would enjoy seeing her wear. Discus how she looks, ask her how she feels wearing it. Find out why she likes what she likes, explain why you like it. Help her to feel good about her choices.
Remember "slutty" is a fantasy look, not an every day one. Your wife may enjoy dressing slutty for excitement or sex, but she doesn't want to look like that every day, she wants to be classy, feminine, attractive but also respected. It's as important other women like the way she dresses as it is men.
Many women already know how to achieve this, they have years of learning, pay attention to that experience, consider every choice she makes and understand why. Despite that, your wife is open to some influence from you, suggesting she wear something "special" or even not at all occasionally will heighten her arousal, if you make her aware of why she should wear it.
The no panties thing is a good one, it has a powerful vulnerability to it. Try not to suggest it all the time though, if it becomes an every day occurrence she will lose the unusual arousal it inspires. Stockings are another good suggestion, especially if you combine them with no panties. I always joke she's wearing runway lights to guide a man home.
The no bra idea is less attractive to women, usually more about comfort than sexuality, most wives aren't capable of defying gravity and making them aware of that isn't always beneficial to helping her feel sexy. You can get away with it sometimes but often it will have the opposite effect by making your wife feel "not dressed properly" or looking not right.
You can look at other women now you're a cuckold, your wife doesn't see them as a threat. Equally you encourage your wife to enjoy looking at men, she is available to them now, find out what she likes, look for men that share those features and point them out to her. It's your job to get your wife what she wants, not what you want.
Your wife is beautiful, she is sexy, she is everything a man would want. Make sure she knows and feels this, learn how to compliment her in a variety of ways, always use sparingly, too often and it won't mean anything. You can mix up what you compliment though, hair, makeup, perfume, clothes etc.
Remember her hang ups and learn to counter every negative feeling she has quickly, by reinforcing her positive attributes. Part of helping her choose clothes is making her confident she looks amazing, don't fuck that up by not following through and noticing what she wears now that she is making an effort.
It's your job to prepare your wife for a man, help her bathe, manicure her nails, shave her, apply moisturizer or lotion as she desires. Help her become the beauty you would want. A woman who feels confident is sexy, a woman who is sexy is ready to have fun. You will learn to enjoy this time together, not just because you find her body sexy but also because of what the ceremony is meant to achieve.
When you know the kind of men she enjoys, when you help her look and feel great about herself, now you have to make it easy for it to happen. She has to see you as...for want of a better word, a friend. Someone she can talk about men with, someone she can laugh and giggle with whenever she notices an attractive guy. You aren't her husband anymore, she doesn't have to watch what she says to avoid hurting your feelings.
Encourage her to explore her sexuality, the truth is most men are easy to entice. If she is looking good, feeling confident then she can have most men. It's your job to help her achieve that. Every successful sexual encounter will reinforce your wife's freedom and status. She will grow in confidence and you will see her sexuality blossom.
If she gets knocked back, remember to be bitchy together, his loss, probably a tiny dick anyway etc. Remember you're on her side, you want her to succeed at attracting the men she wants to be with. If she is shy or lacks confidence, it's your job to go ask for her, you'll enjoy the humiliation of doing it and your wife gets the excitement of seeing you do it. Always get your wife's permission before you ask, remember what she wants, not what you want.
It takes time to learn to be a good cuckold, you can watch it in porn for a few minutes or read about it in a story but to live it, you need to be constantly aware of what you are, constantly looking after your wife, protecting her from negative experiences and encouraging the positive ones.
Next blog entry I'll talk about how you reinforce your wife's sexual satisfaction during cuckolding. Now she has the confidence to go ahead with it, you have to ice the cake, so to speak.
11 years ago