Swingers Comun Sense and Social Courtesy

All of us want to be successful as swingers. It doesn’t
matter how often, with whom, where, or in what style we swing.
One of the nicest things about our lifestyle is that most
of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness,
and common courtesy; just as we ourselves wish to be treated.
Think C.S.A.S.C. (Common Sense and Social Courtesy).
If you employ the following suggestions or adapt them to
your own situation, you should become a welcome participant.



BE COURTEOUS - Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities,
uncertainties and fears.


Courteously is how we all want to be treated—with kindness,
thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence,
courtesy is our treating people the way we ourselves want
to be treated. Remember the Golden and Silver rules.


BE FRIENDLY - Whether or not you are personally interested
in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you
may share many other interests or you may meet that person
again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you
ARE compatible and do wish to share time.


RESPOND TO ALL INVITATIONS - RSVP means please reply to
the invitation. It does NOT mean reply only if you plan to
attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party,
a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous
enough not to respond, PERIOD. Good etiquette and good
social courtesy DEMAND you respond, by either calling
or writing to say yes or no. If someone was gracious enough
to invite you, respond, even if it's just to say you
can't make it (why? because they thought enough to
invite you).


NEVER ARRIVE EMPTY-HANDED - When you go to someone’s
home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring.
(it’s amazing how many supplies, other than food are
used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple,
a house-gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.)



GO PREPARED - Take whatever you personally are going to
need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie
or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate
cleansing articles, condoms, etc. If you plan to stay over,
sleeping bags or blankets and pillows necessities.


CLEANLINESS— Nothing turns a person off faster and more
effectively than an unclean body or bad breath. Even if
you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home it
is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive
at your destination. It is amazing what driving somewhere,
stopping for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather UNDO.



RESPECT OTHERS’ FEELINGS - Beware, not everyone is comfortable
in all situations. Keep your eyes open for signs that your
partner, as well as others, are relaxed and enjoying themselves.
If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the
rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself.
If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain
polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that
not all people feel the same about things.


DON’T BE PUSHY - If you are interested in swinging with
someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested,
they will respond positively. If they are not and say “No,
thank you, ” do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or
coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably
work against you. Everyone has the right to say “NO”
at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever
forget that.


ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU - Do not allow yourself to become
sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested
in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that
you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to
enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want,
where you want and with whom you want.


HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO - One of the basic etiquette in swinging
is the right of anyone to say “No”. Experience has taught
most people that everybody is not right for everybody else.
Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to
a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swing world accepts
the premise that everyone has the right to say “No”
to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple “No,
thank you.” Never give an explanation, because that
is what usually causes the problems and the pain.




CALL/E-MAIL TO SAY THANKS— Most people only use the telephone
if they are going to go somewhere. The social ambiance of
a ‘thank-you note, ” email or phone call to someone
whose hospitality you enjoyed. It means a lot to most people,
and they will surely remember you when planning their next
event. Don’t you like to be thanked?


BE GOOD HOSTS— When you have people coming to your home,
try to anticipate their needs: put clean sheets on the beds;
keep plenty of clean washcloths and towels available.
Show your guests through the house so that they will know
where the bathrooms, kitchen, and other rooms are located.



ANSWERING YOUR EMAIL– All replies to your profile should
be answered in a few days, even if it's "No thank
you. I/we are not interested at this time (or never)."
If you are sending the email, remember that not all people
you write to are interested in you or your partners sexual
heroics. A first email should include a brief description
of why you're writing and your social and sexual interests.
Should someone decline to meet with you, don't take
it personal. Move on! There is someone out there for you...
you just haven't met them as yet.


ENJOY YOURSELF— Most important, have a good time, act
out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy
everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm,
laughter and a positive attitude.