The Real (Sex)
You will find that the sensation of lust doesn’t spark in every human being, like the magazines want us to believe. The men are all driven in a sex-crazed stupor, women all ravenous temptresses behind closed doors. Honestly? Sex is so far from what modern-day fantasies have conscribed the EXPERIENCE to be. It’s awkward at times, not fun, uninspired. But that’s only because of all the performance anxiety; we’re tricked into trying on a silly ‘act’ like some folks say it is. We lose the natural instinct to explore ourselves, and sexuality for you and whom it may be shared with. That being said, hey. Some folks just don’t have that same ‘itch’. This stuff is mainly shades of gray (not like the frickin’novel), although it’s safe to say certain expressions and assumptions about our sensual selves remain red zone. Sensuality’s the motive.
And KINKS. I’ll lay this out in the most clear and amiable way possible. There are differing and skewed viewpoints on what those are, including ones which deserve criticism but what’s true is this: bringing power into sexual dynamics is a decision lovers have to make with each other’s wavelength in mind. THAT’s sensual. I’m stripped down to my socks in front of him, and he’s fully clothed. It’s the unspoken dominance, that casual tip in the scales that makes me exhilarated. The anticipation of that thrill didn’t come from force. I will never say rough isn’t my route, because some of my most ‘climactic’ romps were undoubtedly quite a ways down that particular road. But am I one to be fully subdued? No. And that’s what I’m neither submissive or dominant. Sure, I’ll be good. To a point.
If I had to tell anyone a sex tip (that they haven’t heard before), here’s one. Figure out the strongest sense your partner responds to. Do some research. I trust we are adult enough for that to go without explanation, although on the record it’s not going to be secondary sources!
I don’t tell y’all to stop messaging women ‘hey baby’ because women will never respond, so refrain from the ill-guised judgment calls. Sex is nuanced per each of us having it. Girl next door may like threesomes, I might join her. I fail to see why (once again, considering those NOT-blurred lines from earlier: like non-con and other fucked-up fantasies from Gonzoland) mine are of such concern. My radar only blips for someone who can fulfill my desires AND be polite about them.
What’s sexy to ME? Well, honestly, the ingenuity of someone’s mind and carefree spirit is. Of course killer hair, a sweet smile or big hands would not hurt; those are only physical modes of attractiveness. It’s hot(test) when you may venture into another’s imagination at their request, and see how similar their thoughts are to yours. From there, chemistry arises.
There are reasons beyond the mind for why humans find that spark or flame within this person, but not the next despite their lovely looks and developed appetite. And what they all are evades my ability to say. Sex, for all of its many histories and intricate rituals, is still a mystery. And I can’t help but feel that its pleasure is partially in unraveling what it means.
And KINKS. I’ll lay this out in the most clear and amiable way possible. There are differing and skewed viewpoints on what those are, including ones which deserve criticism but what’s true is this: bringing power into sexual dynamics is a decision lovers have to make with each other’s wavelength in mind. THAT’s sensual. I’m stripped down to my socks in front of him, and he’s fully clothed. It’s the unspoken dominance, that casual tip in the scales that makes me exhilarated. The anticipation of that thrill didn’t come from force. I will never say rough isn’t my route, because some of my most ‘climactic’ romps were undoubtedly quite a ways down that particular road. But am I one to be fully subdued? No. And that’s what I’m neither submissive or dominant. Sure, I’ll be good. To a point.
If I had to tell anyone a sex tip (that they haven’t heard before), here’s one. Figure out the strongest sense your partner responds to. Do some research. I trust we are adult enough for that to go without explanation, although on the record it’s not going to be secondary sources!
I don’t tell y’all to stop messaging women ‘hey baby’ because women will never respond, so refrain from the ill-guised judgment calls. Sex is nuanced per each of us having it. Girl next door may like threesomes, I might join her. I fail to see why (once again, considering those NOT-blurred lines from earlier: like non-con and other fucked-up fantasies from Gonzoland) mine are of such concern. My radar only blips for someone who can fulfill my desires AND be polite about them.
What’s sexy to ME? Well, honestly, the ingenuity of someone’s mind and carefree spirit is. Of course killer hair, a sweet smile or big hands would not hurt; those are only physical modes of attractiveness. It’s hot(test) when you may venture into another’s imagination at their request, and see how similar their thoughts are to yours. From there, chemistry arises.
There are reasons beyond the mind for why humans find that spark or flame within this person, but not the next despite their lovely looks and developed appetite. And what they all are evades my ability to say. Sex, for all of its many histories and intricate rituals, is still a mystery. And I can’t help but feel that its pleasure is partially in unraveling what it means.
10 years ago
