Big Dick Jokes I Came All Over

My dick is so big they made a porn film about me not being able to have sex; and then a sequel since they could not fit it all in the shots.

My dick is so big it was in two bukkake scenes at once but was not invited to attend either one.

My dick is so big SETI rejected my membership for fear that knowledge of its existence explains alien a*****ion probing stories. And that the wild yet symmetrical shapes of my ejaculate explains crop circles.

My dick is so big it went to college for two semesters and all the courses were devoted to it, one semester abroad (yes, everything below is one long joke):

First Semester, Abroad:

sociology: My dick is so big I meet a girl online who invited me to fly from Europe to Oregon and I was already there.

independent study: My dick is so big I fell asleep outside on my back and a plane crashed.

religion: My dick is so big a phallus worshiping tribe started a civil war over it, and they all died (well, that last bit is just not funny, not funny at all).

study abroad: My dick is so big it studied abroad on its own.

Second Semester:

physics: My dick is so big I rolled over on the beach one day and discovered neutrino particles deep within the earth (read a book people!).

anatomy & physiology: My dick is so big I cannot cum on myself.

honors work: My dick is so big when the manned mission finally reaches Mars it will already be sticky.

US history: My dick is so big it shot Lincoln.

...

college life: My dick is so big I slept in a dorm one night and everyone got laid!

graduation: My dick is so big at graduation it gave the commencement speech and handed out diplomas all without graduating itself or even being invited to attend.

::Epic dick metaphors do not happen every day, unless you are a hooker :)