Im a CWAD...a what? Read on to learn more

Three times in the last week I have gotten into nasty heated arguments with other girls because they were offended by a word or concept I posted because it did not fall into their idea of how I should speak or think if I was a Trans Gendered woman. I was informed and did not realize that my life long struggle with my self identity had very explicit words and behavior written in stone by the more enlightened ones suffering from the same affliction. Well, it turns out, if I did not conform to these standards it would invalidate all 40 years off personal misery, depression, self loathing and suicidal thoughts making my perceived issues total bullshit and pale in comparison to the pain and struggle endured by those who towed the line speaking and behaving correctly. As these exchanges got more hostile I was told with absolute certainty that I was not a transgendered woman , just a man playing dress up. Then they informed me not conforming and misrepresenting myself as one of them made their real struggle even more difficult. That no real transgendered woman would ever refer to themselves as a sissy, tranny, shemale, ladyboy, Tgirl etc. Those terms are only used by unenlighted crossdressers and transvestites, posing as transgendered. This was usually the climax of my scolding and when I went to reply and defend myself they had blocked me. No reply was needed, I was a fraud and nothing I could say was worth reading. OH NO! Im shunned. Feeling how a Amish school girl must have felt after being shunned for saying a word like penis within ear shot of an elder in 1820.

That's when it hit me! It hit me like a diamond bullet right in my forehead! They were right! Im not transgendered! Gender in and of itself has never been part of it for me. That assuming gender defined as whats between the legs! I never prayed to God as a 7 year old k** to please let me wake up in the morning and have a vagina. When asked what I wanted most for christmas, I never secretly thought a vagina would be awesome! I prayed to God and was hoping Santa would use majic to make me wake up and be a girl. Ive never wanted a sex change operation--that would ruin it for me. I just want to live as, look like and be percieved by others as a girl-- A pretty, feminine, soft, vulnerable, prissy girly girl-- Looking like the landlady in the movie Kingpin and having a vagina would suck--looking like Christina Agularia and having a dick still would be awesome. I realized that the physical attribute that clinically one must possess to be female was never given much thought in regard to why I wanted to be a girl. Never stressing over not having one-- No I wanted to look like a girl and decorate myself and be pretty. So that being said, I officially am stating right now that I am not a Transgendered woman! I am a fully fucntional all American Chick with a Dick and I dont care who knows!! Wow that felt liberating. So, nothing I post should offend the vagina coveting members of our population and what makes me a really cool CWAD is I dont care what you say or do or call girls like me you cant offend me because my self worth is not dictated by the opinion o other--Now if you dont wanna be disrespectful to me and piss me off all I ask is refer to me in feminine pronouns and dont mock or minimize my life struggle and personal lifestyle choices. Final thought on this wordy post that I had to gey out o my system. To the TG elite that offend easy and demand tolerance from all but give it only to the like minded two words or you Fuck Off and suck my sissy faggot tranny shemale ladyboy chick dick!! To those who live and let live unconditionally and respect my thoughts on this matter please give me a comment and some feedback! If I offended anyone please tell someone who cares, I dont,, get a fucking life and unfriend me ASAP assuring no further damage to you ego---XXOO Alicia Nicole CWAD