Black was not my intent

After my experience with the guy in the Sears parking lot I started thinking I wanted to relive it. I couldn't get hold of him but responded to a CL add. The add said some think like " needs a release now and can host" .nice pic of his cock,looked nice and shaved too,so I responded. A hour later I'm walking up to a apt thinking what am I doing? As I knock a guy opens and it hits me ,he's black. He seems really nice and invites me in and sits on the couch while pulling down his black boxer shorts. Reality hits, I'm looking down at black cock not massive but 7" and thick . Now I'm thinking just do it and I proceed to get to my knees and start rubbing him and touching him. I'm trying to get my courage up when he put his hands on the back of my head and pulls me in. As I start to suck him he already has precum which is exciting as well . After about ten minutes I start to feel him tense up and this time he grabs my head and pulls it tight shooting a massive load in my mouth. He released my head and pulls out .i looked down and there's a lot of cum and his cock is soft. I wipe him and myself up then put my mouth on his soft cock and to my surprise he's instantly hard again.i looked and said seriously you have more ? He said yup. This time after about ten minutes and him not coming I said I have to get going and he replied he's almost there. Doing my best I'm sucking his balls then back to sucking one more time he says,yes ! Here it is! I started faster and like last time holds my head down filling my mouth only not letting go. Then he said swallow it all and I did. He pulled out looks at me nods saying go ahead clean me up. I knew what he wanted and licked up every drop of cum off his body. As I walk out his door and get into my car im thinking what am I doing? I'm a married guy who doesn't run around and somehow I find myself wanting to suck off men and have them get off. This has to stop! But I like pleasing and I guess I like cock too.very confused