Watching porn - mainly a guy thing?
(Please keep in mind that these are entirely subjective personal opinions, based on my own experiences, observations, generalizations, biases and thoughts. No offence to anyone whose opinions differ from mine.)
One of my mottos is "If you're anti-porn, you disrespect male sexuality". While this site proves that there are some women who like porn, in my experience visual porn is still overwhelmingly a guy thing. And the most vociferous anti-porn people I've met have usually been straight females or religious males. I've read and heard that, as a general rule, straight women tend to prefer erotica in written form and not overly explicit while men tend to gravitate to the visual and very explicit.
Whenever I encounter someone strongly putting down porn & masturbation, I feel fundamentally misunderstood as a man and a porn lover. Worse, I feel that the critic has zero interest in trying to understand this part of male sexuality, or getting to know me in full. To them, it's a black & white issue and porn is just bad, period. I find that kind of mentality rather hurtful if I let it get to me.
It seems to me that there are two fundamentally different kinds of porn viewers:
- those who are mainly attracted to the performers' looks
- those who are mainly turned on by the act depicted and care less about the performers' looks
I put myself in the latter category (at least for vids). Whenever a female partner has felt jealous of my porn or that I'm comparing her to who's on screen, I take pains to tell them that I'm far more into the act itself. This is the truth, and yet most women I've been with cannot seem to accept this.
Another misconception from anti-porners is that pornhounds strongly want to experience all the things they're watching. This may not be true at all! For me, much of the porn I watch I choose precisely because it isn't anything I'll likely ever experience. I see no point in watching average sex that's the same as what I can get at home. Rather, I want to watch something a little freakier, that for me will likely stay entirely a fantasy.
If men and women are to respect each other and get along, we need to openly discuss our respective sexualities and come to an understanding about them. It seems to me that female sexuality is generally more respected and understood than male sexuality is, but I could be wrong about that.
I'd love to see peoples' comments and experiences on this.
One of my mottos is "If you're anti-porn, you disrespect male sexuality". While this site proves that there are some women who like porn, in my experience visual porn is still overwhelmingly a guy thing. And the most vociferous anti-porn people I've met have usually been straight females or religious males. I've read and heard that, as a general rule, straight women tend to prefer erotica in written form and not overly explicit while men tend to gravitate to the visual and very explicit.
Whenever I encounter someone strongly putting down porn & masturbation, I feel fundamentally misunderstood as a man and a porn lover. Worse, I feel that the critic has zero interest in trying to understand this part of male sexuality, or getting to know me in full. To them, it's a black & white issue and porn is just bad, period. I find that kind of mentality rather hurtful if I let it get to me.
It seems to me that there are two fundamentally different kinds of porn viewers:
- those who are mainly attracted to the performers' looks
- those who are mainly turned on by the act depicted and care less about the performers' looks
I put myself in the latter category (at least for vids). Whenever a female partner has felt jealous of my porn or that I'm comparing her to who's on screen, I take pains to tell them that I'm far more into the act itself. This is the truth, and yet most women I've been with cannot seem to accept this.
Another misconception from anti-porners is that pornhounds strongly want to experience all the things they're watching. This may not be true at all! For me, much of the porn I watch I choose precisely because it isn't anything I'll likely ever experience. I see no point in watching average sex that's the same as what I can get at home. Rather, I want to watch something a little freakier, that for me will likely stay entirely a fantasy.
If men and women are to respect each other and get along, we need to openly discuss our respective sexualities and come to an understanding about them. It seems to me that female sexuality is generally more respected and understood than male sexuality is, but I could be wrong about that.
I'd love to see peoples' comments and experiences on this.
13 years ago
