My story part 1... my younger years
So, I’ve been asked by a couple of people about how I came to be who I am… My story. I am a pretty boring person for the most part, but here it goes…
I have always wanted to be a girl from my very first memories. I guess when I was a toddler, I would try to wear my mothers clothing. This made my parents panic because they were scared that they had a ‘transvestite’ boy. Call me what you want, I won’t change who I am because of labels that others give me. My early years were not pleasant. My father is / was a violent man and is opposed to anything LGBTQ. I remember getting a doll as a present once and he went ballistic, screaming about how his c hild wasn’t going to be a ‘fag’. Sorry but playing with a doll isn’t going to make your c hild gay, now sucking cock just might. I also realized that I had to hide who I was. I remember secretly putting on girls’ clothes late at night when my parents were asleep. It felt so normal, so right, to wear them. I used to grab all the fliers as a young c hild and dream of the wearing all the cute outfits. My parents just thought I was looking at the toys.
I entered my teenage years as a very confused c hild. I desperately wished I was born a girl and now started to become attracted to others. I did like girls, but mainly because I was jealous and wanted to be one. I did my best to hide my attraction to boys. To be honest, boys didn’t attract me, men did. I fantasized about men, dreaming up situations where they would ‘force’ me to perform various sex acts on them. I was also a painfully shy teenager and kept to myself.
I vividly remember my first sexual experience. I won’t say exactly what age I was, but it was legal age (just) in Canada at the time. I met a young man, probably early 20’s who caught me staring at him. He was very tall and muscular. He came over and started talking to me as if we knew each other. He asked me what I was doing that night and if I wanted to go somewhere. My parents were out that evening so I said that I would meet him around 7 pm. He drove up in an older dodge that night and we drove to a local park. I was very nervous as he put his hand on my leg and slowly moved it towards my tiny dick. God I can still remember shaking, both with anticipation and with fear. He leaned over and slowly kissed me, so very sensually. I calmed down and kissed him back. His hand reached my cock and lightly brushed up against it and unbuttoned my pants. He unzipped my pants while I concentrated on kissing him. My heart must have been beating a thousand times a minute. He broke off the kiss and smiled at me as he lowered his head and pulled my little cock out. I was fully erect now as he put his lips around the head and ran his tongue over it. Holy fuck, I gripped onto his hair and almost shot my load immediately. He pulled down my pants and began to suck it harder. Wow, it wasn’t long until I shot my load. He just looked up and smiled at me.
At this point we both had our shirts off and I had my pants down to my ankles. He leaned back and undid his pants and smiled at me. I instinctively lowered my head down to his very massive cock. He was so much bigger than me. At least 8 to 10 inches with much girth. I hesitantly put my lips on the tip of it, closed my eyes and began to suck him off. He barely fit in my mouth. The shaft wouldn’t go more than half way until it pushed against my back of the throat, where my gag reflex kicked in. It probably wasn’t the best blow job I had given, but I was certainly eager. I guess I sucked him off for around 15 minutes before he lifted my head and began to kiss me again. He leaned me backwards and got on top of me. I wrapped my legs around him as he passionately kissed me. I thought this was it, he was going to fuck me with that massive cock. Holy shit was I scared. He put some kind of lube on his fingers and stuck one finger in my ass and began to massage me. I reached down between his legs and began to stroke him. He stuck a second finger inside me and I gasped in pain. Oh, shit he had huge fingers. I just held on as he pushed his fingers slowly in and out.
I continued to jerk him off. He must have realized that his cock was too big for me because he pulled his fingers out and just concentrated on kissing me. I must admit that I was anticipating being fucked and was mildly disappointed when he didn’t. I was a small guy, probably 5’ 5” and maybe 110 lbs soaking wet. He must have been at least 6’4” and 250 lbs. He could have done anything he wanted when on top of me and I would have let him. I continued to jerk him off and felt him grip onto me tighter, he was close now. Another couple minutes and I felt him pull back and then he shot his load all over my chest. He ran his finger through his deposited load and put the finger in my mouth. I tasted his cum as he scooped it into my mouth. He pushed my head down to his cock and I sucked the last bits of cum from him.
He didn’t say a word as he slowly got dressed. I shyly got dressed and he drove me back home. I got out and he drove away and I never heard from him again. I was so confused, was I really bad? I also felt very guilty. I was now a legit faggot. A cock sucking fag. All the hateful insults boys throw at each other. I was one now. It took many years to get over this self hatred of myself. On the other hand, I loved my first experience and so desperately wanted to suck more dick. I discovered the joys of vibrators and began to jerk off every night with one firmly inserted in my ass. There was no turning back.
There was an X rated video store near my house. It advertised ‘peep shows’ outside. I would ride my bike by it and would see men go in and out of the back door. I really wanted to go in. I was u******ed at the time. I also started drinking at this age and one night, after a few drinks I got up the courage to walk in. The owner was a unshaven old man who didn’t seem to care less that I was there. I asked for some tokens and went into the dark room filled with booths. I entered one and deposited my coins. I noticed these holes cut into the walls between the booths and wondered why they were there. I flipped through the channels and came across my first ‘tranny’ porn. I was sold. I realized that I could be a girl which made me so happy. I unzipped my pants and began to stroke myself. It was then that I noticed someone running their finger around the hole in the wall. I saw a man’s lips through the hole so I moved over and put my tiny cock in his mouth. He was incredible, I quickly shot my load into his mouth. A moment later he put his soft cock through the hold. I instinctively got down on my knees and put his cock in my mouth. I loved it. Here I was finally with another cock in my mouth servicing men. After 5 minutes of sucking he shot his load down my throat. Some people complain about the taste of cum, not me, I have never sucked a dick where I didn’t swallow and enjoy it.
I began going there several times a week. Luckily, I had a part time job and was able to spend all my money on tokens. I also began to dress up. I would wear my panties, stockings and mini skirt under my ‘boy clothes’ and would change when I got there. I would walk among the booths and men would run their hands all over me as I walked by. Often men would pull me into a booth and fuck my face. I found that men loved it when I was a girl and I loved being a girl. These were some of the happiest moments of my life.
After a couple of weeks of dressing up, I decided to go on a Friday night. I walked in the dark room and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. It was a packed house and all eyes were on me. Most men that go to these places are at least 40 years old, many were up to 65-70. It didn’t matter to me, I loved older men. I find the younger the man, the more they think of themselves and the less they think of me. I don’t mind being a sexual release, but I do like to be treated with some respect. Older men have always treated me with complete respect and don’t just ‘go through the motions. I walked up and down the passages in my skirt. I got to the end and a man in his 50’s smiled at me and took me by my hand and led me into one of the larger booths.
I wordlessly got down on my knees and unzipped his pants. I put his cock in my mouth and began to work. He grew to a significant length and girth. I was impressed as I pushed him as far as I could into my throat. After about 5 minutes he pulled away and asked me if I wanted to get fucked. I shyly said that I had never been fucked. He looked surprised, then turned me around and bent me over. He pulled down my panties and began to lube my asshole. He put on a condom and began to spread my ass cheeks. I felt hit tip put pressure on my anus. Unlike my vibrator, the tip of a cock is larger than the shaft. A vibrator can be eased in, a cock head just kinda pops in. I groaned when he first entered me and my knees felt weak, he slowly pushed in and out a bit at a time. He definitely stretched me as my ass out. After a couple minutes of slow gentle rocking inside me, he gripped on to my hips and started pumping harder.
With every stroke I moaned with delight. It just felt right to have a cock inside me. With each stroke my body shuddered with pleasure. Before I knew it, I shot the biggest load of cum up against the wall. To this day, this was probably the most explosive orgasm I have ever had. He just kept pumping harder and harder. He started to grip my hips harder as well, which I realized was a sign that he was ready to cum. With his balls slapping against my ass cheeks I felt his final thrusts as he came.
I pulled up my panties, exhausted. This man had dominated me. I was his play thing and he used me… and I loved every minute of it. This is where I was born to be. I knew that this was my reason for living, to be a sissy for men. He leaned over and kissed me on my forehead. I thanked him for fucking me. He just smiled back at me as he left the booth. I walked out, adjusting my skirt and saw a group of smirking men. I guess these booths have small ‘peep’ holes so you can look in. Without knowing it I had performed in front of a group of approximately a dozen men.
I just smiled back at them and said ‘whos next?’
I have always wanted to be a girl from my very first memories. I guess when I was a toddler, I would try to wear my mothers clothing. This made my parents panic because they were scared that they had a ‘transvestite’ boy. Call me what you want, I won’t change who I am because of labels that others give me. My early years were not pleasant. My father is / was a violent man and is opposed to anything LGBTQ. I remember getting a doll as a present once and he went ballistic, screaming about how his c hild wasn’t going to be a ‘fag’. Sorry but playing with a doll isn’t going to make your c hild gay, now sucking cock just might. I also realized that I had to hide who I was. I remember secretly putting on girls’ clothes late at night when my parents were asleep. It felt so normal, so right, to wear them. I used to grab all the fliers as a young c hild and dream of the wearing all the cute outfits. My parents just thought I was looking at the toys.
I entered my teenage years as a very confused c hild. I desperately wished I was born a girl and now started to become attracted to others. I did like girls, but mainly because I was jealous and wanted to be one. I did my best to hide my attraction to boys. To be honest, boys didn’t attract me, men did. I fantasized about men, dreaming up situations where they would ‘force’ me to perform various sex acts on them. I was also a painfully shy teenager and kept to myself.
I vividly remember my first sexual experience. I won’t say exactly what age I was, but it was legal age (just) in Canada at the time. I met a young man, probably early 20’s who caught me staring at him. He was very tall and muscular. He came over and started talking to me as if we knew each other. He asked me what I was doing that night and if I wanted to go somewhere. My parents were out that evening so I said that I would meet him around 7 pm. He drove up in an older dodge that night and we drove to a local park. I was very nervous as he put his hand on my leg and slowly moved it towards my tiny dick. God I can still remember shaking, both with anticipation and with fear. He leaned over and slowly kissed me, so very sensually. I calmed down and kissed him back. His hand reached my cock and lightly brushed up against it and unbuttoned my pants. He unzipped my pants while I concentrated on kissing him. My heart must have been beating a thousand times a minute. He broke off the kiss and smiled at me as he lowered his head and pulled my little cock out. I was fully erect now as he put his lips around the head and ran his tongue over it. Holy fuck, I gripped onto his hair and almost shot my load immediately. He pulled down my pants and began to suck it harder. Wow, it wasn’t long until I shot my load. He just looked up and smiled at me.
At this point we both had our shirts off and I had my pants down to my ankles. He leaned back and undid his pants and smiled at me. I instinctively lowered my head down to his very massive cock. He was so much bigger than me. At least 8 to 10 inches with much girth. I hesitantly put my lips on the tip of it, closed my eyes and began to suck him off. He barely fit in my mouth. The shaft wouldn’t go more than half way until it pushed against my back of the throat, where my gag reflex kicked in. It probably wasn’t the best blow job I had given, but I was certainly eager. I guess I sucked him off for around 15 minutes before he lifted my head and began to kiss me again. He leaned me backwards and got on top of me. I wrapped my legs around him as he passionately kissed me. I thought this was it, he was going to fuck me with that massive cock. Holy shit was I scared. He put some kind of lube on his fingers and stuck one finger in my ass and began to massage me. I reached down between his legs and began to stroke him. He stuck a second finger inside me and I gasped in pain. Oh, shit he had huge fingers. I just held on as he pushed his fingers slowly in and out.
I continued to jerk him off. He must have realized that his cock was too big for me because he pulled his fingers out and just concentrated on kissing me. I must admit that I was anticipating being fucked and was mildly disappointed when he didn’t. I was a small guy, probably 5’ 5” and maybe 110 lbs soaking wet. He must have been at least 6’4” and 250 lbs. He could have done anything he wanted when on top of me and I would have let him. I continued to jerk him off and felt him grip onto me tighter, he was close now. Another couple minutes and I felt him pull back and then he shot his load all over my chest. He ran his finger through his deposited load and put the finger in my mouth. I tasted his cum as he scooped it into my mouth. He pushed my head down to his cock and I sucked the last bits of cum from him.
He didn’t say a word as he slowly got dressed. I shyly got dressed and he drove me back home. I got out and he drove away and I never heard from him again. I was so confused, was I really bad? I also felt very guilty. I was now a legit faggot. A cock sucking fag. All the hateful insults boys throw at each other. I was one now. It took many years to get over this self hatred of myself. On the other hand, I loved my first experience and so desperately wanted to suck more dick. I discovered the joys of vibrators and began to jerk off every night with one firmly inserted in my ass. There was no turning back.
There was an X rated video store near my house. It advertised ‘peep shows’ outside. I would ride my bike by it and would see men go in and out of the back door. I really wanted to go in. I was u******ed at the time. I also started drinking at this age and one night, after a few drinks I got up the courage to walk in. The owner was a unshaven old man who didn’t seem to care less that I was there. I asked for some tokens and went into the dark room filled with booths. I entered one and deposited my coins. I noticed these holes cut into the walls between the booths and wondered why they were there. I flipped through the channels and came across my first ‘tranny’ porn. I was sold. I realized that I could be a girl which made me so happy. I unzipped my pants and began to stroke myself. It was then that I noticed someone running their finger around the hole in the wall. I saw a man’s lips through the hole so I moved over and put my tiny cock in his mouth. He was incredible, I quickly shot my load into his mouth. A moment later he put his soft cock through the hold. I instinctively got down on my knees and put his cock in my mouth. I loved it. Here I was finally with another cock in my mouth servicing men. After 5 minutes of sucking he shot his load down my throat. Some people complain about the taste of cum, not me, I have never sucked a dick where I didn’t swallow and enjoy it.
I began going there several times a week. Luckily, I had a part time job and was able to spend all my money on tokens. I also began to dress up. I would wear my panties, stockings and mini skirt under my ‘boy clothes’ and would change when I got there. I would walk among the booths and men would run their hands all over me as I walked by. Often men would pull me into a booth and fuck my face. I found that men loved it when I was a girl and I loved being a girl. These were some of the happiest moments of my life.
After a couple of weeks of dressing up, I decided to go on a Friday night. I walked in the dark room and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. It was a packed house and all eyes were on me. Most men that go to these places are at least 40 years old, many were up to 65-70. It didn’t matter to me, I loved older men. I find the younger the man, the more they think of themselves and the less they think of me. I don’t mind being a sexual release, but I do like to be treated with some respect. Older men have always treated me with complete respect and don’t just ‘go through the motions. I walked up and down the passages in my skirt. I got to the end and a man in his 50’s smiled at me and took me by my hand and led me into one of the larger booths.
I wordlessly got down on my knees and unzipped his pants. I put his cock in my mouth and began to work. He grew to a significant length and girth. I was impressed as I pushed him as far as I could into my throat. After about 5 minutes he pulled away and asked me if I wanted to get fucked. I shyly said that I had never been fucked. He looked surprised, then turned me around and bent me over. He pulled down my panties and began to lube my asshole. He put on a condom and began to spread my ass cheeks. I felt hit tip put pressure on my anus. Unlike my vibrator, the tip of a cock is larger than the shaft. A vibrator can be eased in, a cock head just kinda pops in. I groaned when he first entered me and my knees felt weak, he slowly pushed in and out a bit at a time. He definitely stretched me as my ass out. After a couple minutes of slow gentle rocking inside me, he gripped on to my hips and started pumping harder.
With every stroke I moaned with delight. It just felt right to have a cock inside me. With each stroke my body shuddered with pleasure. Before I knew it, I shot the biggest load of cum up against the wall. To this day, this was probably the most explosive orgasm I have ever had. He just kept pumping harder and harder. He started to grip my hips harder as well, which I realized was a sign that he was ready to cum. With his balls slapping against my ass cheeks I felt his final thrusts as he came.
I pulled up my panties, exhausted. This man had dominated me. I was his play thing and he used me… and I loved every minute of it. This is where I was born to be. I knew that this was my reason for living, to be a sissy for men. He leaned over and kissed me on my forehead. I thanked him for fucking me. He just smiled back at me as he left the booth. I walked out, adjusting my skirt and saw a group of smirking men. I guess these booths have small ‘peep’ holes so you can look in. Without knowing it I had performed in front of a group of approximately a dozen men.
I just smiled back at them and said ‘whos next?’
6 years ago
