I want to allow friend requests again but...
...managing friend requests on Xhamster is kind of annoying.
TL:DR - I stopped accepting friend requests because it took up too much of my time and effort, but I might allow them back on again and just gradually remove people I don't like. Just read the bold parts of this post if you don't want to read all this ramble.
When I originally created this account, I didn't want to completely deter people from leaving comments on my uploads and profile or even sending me messages. What I wanted was to stop the flood of invites coming from people and having to manage them. While they have improved the invite system over time, it is easy just for anybody to throw a request at you and expect you to accept it.
When I see that notification pop-up, I then have to ask myself, "is this person my friend?". Generally, the answer is no: I've never met you before and 98 times out of a 100, we've never had a conversation before, but all of a sudden we are "Friends"?
I suppose that ultimately, a "Friend" on xhamster is a "Contact" - like adding a contact in a mail program or a messenger program. I've always found friend requests pointless because I allow anybody on XHamster to message me or leave a comment - so why do I have to go through extra clicks and investigating your profile to see if I want to be your friend if you just want to talk to me? Just talk to me!
I suppose that this is just the way of Xhamster and sites like it such as CornHub do things. (If I use the real name, the Xhamster will censor it or prevent me from posting this. No, seriously it will). I come from Imagefap, which has it own issues, but it had the "Contacts" system done right in my opinion. Imagefap is a page for content producers/providers, and if you like the content from such a person, all you have to do is become a fan and BOOM you are subscribed to that person. Now you can go to your feed to see new content from that person or look at your fan list to find providers you like. Anybody who was on ImageFap could become my fan whether I liked it or not and most importantly, it didn't require my input or time. Over a span of some years, I had multiple thousands of fans who could see my galleries at anytime at their own leisure. Only a few people sent me friend requests, and those were either people I've talked to from other sites, or people who had content i liked and was able to have discussions with before we finally became friends.At that point, we both had to decide if we were friends and thus, list that person as a friend upclose and center on our page - almost like being in the top 8 eight friends on MySpace.
Xhamster is similar, where 'Become a Fan'/Fan are replaced with the words "Subscribe"/Subscriber. The difference here is either most people don't use or notice the subscribe button OR for whatever reason, prefer to be a friend. I don't know WHY that happens, but I do know WHAT happens - a notification count is increased on my top bar and if I want to get rid of it, I have to accept or decline. Ok, but do I want this person to be MY FRIEND?! Ok, let me look at their profile. Is it a bot? Is it a spammer? Is it somebody even really agree with? Is it somebody that has content I'm interested in? Is a person trying to have sex with me? Can I even see anything that I like or that is useful at your profile at all or is it mostly empty and have no avatar or just a dick pic? If that is the case, why do I NEED to click 'Accept' on your request?
For a time or two, I allowed people to send requests. But then, that thought process required me to look at EVERY SINGLE PERSON that send a request. Any typical user can expect to receive anywhere from 2-10 requests per day from random strangers that require you attention to manage - THAT'S ALOT OF REQUESTS! Especially over time. God forbid you're a content producer with popular content and now all of a sudden, you could be spending more time managing friends then actually sharing content. Its like managing junk mail. I ultimately decided to deny all friend requests going forward because I didn't see the value of them and they required too much of my time to deal with. Now, not only do I have no friend requests, but I barely have any comments or messages from people.
I didn't want people to stop talking to me. I wanted people to stop sending me requests to manage and spend time on. I've always wanted people to leave pervy, informative, or funny comments on my content, or send me messages, or trade links with me - but after doing some "experimentation", it seems like you NEED to accept friends to get people to talk to you here. I guess the best thing about becoming a "Friend" with somebody is knowing when they are online so you can message them - but I didn't quite realize that was critical to discussion here.
Because of this I MIGHT start allowing friend requests in the future. I'm pretty sure at least once in the past after I turned them off, i turned them back on and got flooded again, so I stopped. It seems like it is pretty much easier to accept them all or deny them all. I WANT to talk to fellow pervs about our favorite porn and trade stuff we like and even jerk off together in private messages - it's great to perv together!
If you actually read all of this ramble of mine, then you are probably smart enough to read my profile or be somebody who wouldn't annoy me after being accepted. If I do start accepting all requests again, I will be more than willing to just defriend accounts I don't like - It seems easier to play offense instead of defense on XHamster.
TL:DR - I stopped accepting friend requests because it took up too much of my time and effort, but I might allow them back on again and just gradually remove people I don't like. Just read the bold parts of this post if you don't want to read all this ramble.
When I originally created this account, I didn't want to completely deter people from leaving comments on my uploads and profile or even sending me messages. What I wanted was to stop the flood of invites coming from people and having to manage them. While they have improved the invite system over time, it is easy just for anybody to throw a request at you and expect you to accept it.
When I see that notification pop-up, I then have to ask myself, "is this person my friend?". Generally, the answer is no: I've never met you before and 98 times out of a 100, we've never had a conversation before, but all of a sudden we are "Friends"?
I suppose that ultimately, a "Friend" on xhamster is a "Contact" - like adding a contact in a mail program or a messenger program. I've always found friend requests pointless because I allow anybody on XHamster to message me or leave a comment - so why do I have to go through extra clicks and investigating your profile to see if I want to be your friend if you just want to talk to me? Just talk to me!
I suppose that this is just the way of Xhamster and sites like it such as CornHub do things. (If I use the real name, the Xhamster will censor it or prevent me from posting this. No, seriously it will). I come from Imagefap, which has it own issues, but it had the "Contacts" system done right in my opinion. Imagefap is a page for content producers/providers, and if you like the content from such a person, all you have to do is become a fan and BOOM you are subscribed to that person. Now you can go to your feed to see new content from that person or look at your fan list to find providers you like. Anybody who was on ImageFap could become my fan whether I liked it or not and most importantly, it didn't require my input or time. Over a span of some years, I had multiple thousands of fans who could see my galleries at anytime at their own leisure. Only a few people sent me friend requests, and those were either people I've talked to from other sites, or people who had content i liked and was able to have discussions with before we finally became friends.At that point, we both had to decide if we were friends and thus, list that person as a friend upclose and center on our page - almost like being in the top 8 eight friends on MySpace.
Xhamster is similar, where 'Become a Fan'/Fan are replaced with the words "Subscribe"/Subscriber. The difference here is either most people don't use or notice the subscribe button OR for whatever reason, prefer to be a friend. I don't know WHY that happens, but I do know WHAT happens - a notification count is increased on my top bar and if I want to get rid of it, I have to accept or decline. Ok, but do I want this person to be MY FRIEND?! Ok, let me look at their profile. Is it a bot? Is it a spammer? Is it somebody even really agree with? Is it somebody that has content I'm interested in? Is a person trying to have sex with me? Can I even see anything that I like or that is useful at your profile at all or is it mostly empty and have no avatar or just a dick pic? If that is the case, why do I NEED to click 'Accept' on your request?
For a time or two, I allowed people to send requests. But then, that thought process required me to look at EVERY SINGLE PERSON that send a request. Any typical user can expect to receive anywhere from 2-10 requests per day from random strangers that require you attention to manage - THAT'S ALOT OF REQUESTS! Especially over time. God forbid you're a content producer with popular content and now all of a sudden, you could be spending more time managing friends then actually sharing content. Its like managing junk mail. I ultimately decided to deny all friend requests going forward because I didn't see the value of them and they required too much of my time to deal with. Now, not only do I have no friend requests, but I barely have any comments or messages from people.
I didn't want people to stop talking to me. I wanted people to stop sending me requests to manage and spend time on. I've always wanted people to leave pervy, informative, or funny comments on my content, or send me messages, or trade links with me - but after doing some "experimentation", it seems like you NEED to accept friends to get people to talk to you here. I guess the best thing about becoming a "Friend" with somebody is knowing when they are online so you can message them - but I didn't quite realize that was critical to discussion here.
Because of this I MIGHT start allowing friend requests in the future. I'm pretty sure at least once in the past after I turned them off, i turned them back on and got flooded again, so I stopped. It seems like it is pretty much easier to accept them all or deny them all. I WANT to talk to fellow pervs about our favorite porn and trade stuff we like and even jerk off together in private messages - it's great to perv together!
If you actually read all of this ramble of mine, then you are probably smart enough to read my profile or be somebody who wouldn't annoy me after being accepted. If I do start accepting all requests again, I will be more than willing to just defriend accounts I don't like - It seems easier to play offense instead of defense on XHamster.
6 years ago
