First experience with super hot gay sex
Nobody knows I have sex with men. Except those men themselves, of course. I am a tough successful businessman, happily married for 22 years to a beautiful wife and father of a beautiful three of a kind offspring. I am secretly an effeminate bottom who wants to blow men and get fucked by them. In my youth I never really engaged in homosexuality, I fell madly in love with all kinds of girls and I liked them a lot. However, I have never been in love with a man; I've never even come across a man I had to touch at all costs. Or that I wanted to see naked. Even in the gym, the sight of a naked man doesn't do anything for me. I look at their cock and don't get excited at all, I don't even feel anything special. But in the right context, and certainly after watching some gay porn, an almost indomitable desire for a stiff cock arises. To stroke it, examine it, and have it in my mouth and then in my ass.
When did this actually start? I remember well when I was six years old in the attic I found a toll with my grandparents with a stick on it with a round button on it. I don't know why, but at one point I put my underpants down and put the stick in my anus. It turned me on terribly. Again and again I pushed the stick in and then slowly pulled it out again. A wonderful feeling and it led to a wonderful erection. Had that been an omen? I did not associate this act with a penetration by a man. Just the physical feeling was nice, and maybe even the idea that I secretly did something forbidden? I remember being horny all day. After that experience, did I look differently at boys or men, or was I focused on dicks? No. Until I was fifteen I cannot remember any homoerotic experiences. At that age I went to Amsterdam with some friends and went to a peep show where you could also watch porn movies. After researching all the straight options, including a movie of a woman with a sheepdog that I didn't find exciting, I went into a booth and chose a gay movie. That interest could have signaled what was to come, but I probably only saw oral sex because the video did not impress much. Even collective masturbation experiences with friends at that time did not arouse any desire for men or cocks for me. The pinnacle, of course, was that the boy in a sailing camp who told me in our room at night about "how nice it was to put a finger in your anus" didn't wake me up in anything. It might not have helped that I had bowel disorders at the time, but I found the story and the boy more strange than exciting. But there was some slumber somewhere, because I know that an excerpt in an information book about young boys who were initiated by older boys into men's love did excite me. But still, gay eroticism was something far away, something that did not happen in my environment, and which was not for me. Even a very strange incident afterwards, did not ring a bell for me. I had driving lessons from a fat man of about sixty. I can't remember how the conversation turned to gay sex, but somehow we drove to the station bookstore and got the guy some gay booklets for me so I could see for myself. Would the driving instructor have noticed anything about me? During the conversation I showed something of interest in gay sex. Maybe the instructor fell on me but I never picked up those signals? In the evening in my bed I naturally read and watch pictures. I still remember that 20% of the content made me very horny, but also that I found 80% pathetic and dirty. In retrospect, I think at the time I thought that gay sex belonged mainly to my imagination and should take place between very attractive men with beautiful bodies and beautiful stiff cocks.
When I was now eighteen years old as a student, I went out every night and ended up in the strangest tents, I got to know the so-called shemales. Brazilian and Thai boys who to a greater or lesser extent had themselves converted into women. Once I was, quite tipsy, in the back of a car with a shemale. I put my hand on her knee and slowly moved it upwards. There I came across some rather firm underpants that made me feel a bulge that suggested a cock. I put my hand in the underpants and there I felt a small limp cock. Not very exciting, I left it at that and so no bells rang that something was wrong. That only came a few weeks later. With friends and my then girlfriend I was out and about in Amsterdam and we visited the Flora Palace, known for the slogan: "Hey, are you gay, see you monday at Flora Palace ". I do not remember anymore, but afterwards I will have given the final push to visit that tent. With a beer or twenty behind me, I started out moment secretly to the “Dark room.” A pitch-dark space in which men could have anonymous sex with each other. I stepped inside a corner and soon noticed that a man was standing next to me. My hand went to the man's crotch and there I felt my first real stiff cock. Not small, but not particularly big. Especially the swollen veins I noticed. Without thinking about it I got on my knees and put the cock in my mouth, sucked on it and blew the man. It excited me for a moment, "jesus, I'm here like a whore sucking a man, delicious," but unfortunately after a few minutes the fun seemed to be over again. Later I would recognize the pattern but at the time I subconsciously quit, got up and died ug to my company. With the man's pre-cum in my mouth and on my lips, I kissed my girlfriend at the time and had wonderful sex with her after the evening. The next day, with a big hangover, some gnawed, but exactly what that was, I had no idea. It just seemed to be someone else in my head who wanted and did things like that. I wasn't like that in person. Especially when I was busy, I was not into cocks and gay sex at all. I often fell madly in love with girls and then yearned for them, how the hell did this deviation fit in there? Again, I never fell in love with guys. I became good friends with the guys I liked, but I never really wanted sex with them. I never fantasized about having sex with famous guys. Strangely enough, although I often befriended boys who later turned out to be gay, the friendship often bled to death afterwards. When I masturbated, my fantasies were about faceless and personalityless men. They were machos who wanted to have sex with me, but they never had a face, they were cocks with a beautiful body on them. I don't remember my fantasies exactly, or I wanted to be fucked I don't remember, just the vague idea of an excited man wanting something with me.
Still, I went a step further every time. I noticed that if I were to be with a girlfriend for a long time, for example on a vacation of a few weeks, I wanted to have sex with someone else in the days before. That should have been women too, but yes, they are not always readily available. So back to a tent, preferably with a big gulp on it, where there were gays or shemales: The Odeon Cellar, or the DOK. There was one shemale around that I noticed. A Brazilian woman with beautiful firm breasts. When my friends were home I spoke to her. Inside she suggested to go to my room and I liked that, after all I had drunk enough for it. Once inside we were lying on my bed after a few minutes of kissing. She kissed wonderfully, a big tongue that penetrated deep into my mouth. I pulled her dress up and her underpants down and her stiff little penis about twelve centimeters leaped out. Without thinking, I started licking and sucking the penis. Again that was great the first few minutes, but after that the fun was quickly over. I lay on top of her and she led my cock to her ass. I entered her and fucked her for 5 minutes until I came in her. I found it terribly exciting, but after my orgasm, the excitement disappeared immediately and I actually wanted her to go away immediately. She noticed that, and she left, I am a bit ashamed of that afterwards, but it was very confusing for me. For months I was 100% straight again, but the effeminate niece happily returned.
After another drink-filled evening with friends, I walked past a gay disco on the ramparts. I must have looked interested because the doorman called me: "Just come here for a drink!" "If I can enter for free, I will do it," I said. That was no problem and before I knew it I was standing at the bar with a double vodka watching the gay sex video screen. As I expected, I found it very exciting. Watching stiff cocks disappearing in mouths and butts looked very natural and natural, as if it were meant to be. It completely sobbed me and I saw the world strangely sharp. The bartender saw it and pointed to the dark room: "You will find that interesting ...". Without thinking further, I entered the darkroom. After walking 1 meter in the dark I felt that hands were touching me, slid to my crotch and in no time my pants were open and I got a huge erection. Strange hands jerked me off, squeezed my balls and I had to sit back because I got dizzy from the horniness. I leaned against a man who started licking my neck. My shirt was pulled up and my left nipple was massaged and my right nipple licked. Then I felt a warm mouth around my cock. I was completely out of the world, how horny this was! When the man behind me started rubbing his cock on my anus I recovered a bit. It felt great but alarm bells also went off, "I'll blow you," I whispered. I pushed the crowd around me, got down on my knees, and looked for his cock. Near my face I grabbed a big cock and started licking the head. How nice it felt, a kind of silky soft layer over a rock hard post. More and more I started to lick and suck, and eventually I put his cock in my mouth as far as possible, almost against my throat. My head was empty, I blew this man like a full-blown slut, it felt wonderful all the time. Someone else pressed his cock to my cheek. I also took him in my mouth. I wanted more cocks, I couldn't think of anything else, in my mouth, in my ass and in my hands, hundreds! One of the men neatly indicated that he was going to cum so I jerked him off until I heard him moan and his seed ran over my hands. That was the time for me to return to reality. Suddenly I wanted to go home to my girlfriend.
The next morning I woke up with two kinds of confusing thoughts in my head: "I am really gay, or am I bi, it was disgusting, it was very horny, I don't want this anymore, I got something right away", it was a huge chaos in my head that lasted two more days. After that my normal life came back. I still had myself tested if I had not caught something, fortunately that was not the case, but partly due to that test experience I was quite a while free from the need for men's love. I sometimes visited a gay site, or read stories about gay Amsterdam and discovered the many possibilities that Amsterdam had to offer, but took no action. Until my best friend's bachelor.
After a lot of alcohol again, I was on my way home at about three in the morning. I actually didn't feel like going home yet, but sitting alone in a bar didn't seem appealing to me either. Why not even look in the gay sauna, came to mind. Just watch and get nowhere! Moments later I was in the shower, then put on my towel and went on a journey of discovery. I saw men making love in the sauna, men blowing each other in the steam room and a man getting fucked at the entrance to the darkroom. The most exciting thing was the private cabins. There lay and stood in alluring poses, alluring me. Gradually I became completely gay again from the gay disco. Without that I walked naked into the darkroom. I grabbed every cock that came close to me. I immediately took big cocks in my mouth, then I got up and moaned at the man "I want you to fuck me". Then I rubbed their wet head against my anus, moaning until I felt that they wanted to push. When I felt their jerk in me, I stopped and said that it should only be safe and that they should get a condom. I sucked twenty cocks and felt it in my ass, I got so horny! Now it was time to be deflowered. At the bar I got a handful of condoms and packs of lube. My desire to be fucked was overpowering. This primal feeling, which was hitherto completely unknown to me, always seemed to have been there, I thought it was the most natural thing in the world to long for a cock in my ass, for a man who was going to fuck me. I picked out a well-lit private cabin, left the door open, and lay down so that both my butt and my cock were clearly visible. Fortunately I have a nice round ass with a slim body and I am well-made, so you will attract men with that I thought. Every time a man stood in the door, I stroked my buttocks and asked if I could see his cock. Some cocks I found too big, others too small or sometimes I found the man not tough enough to deflower me, it had to be a real man. If they wanted to step inside I pushed them back. Then my prince came on the white horse: muscular, chest hair and a cock of about 18 cm (that's how long my cock is, so I could see that well). I didn't see his face properly, but I found that exciting. He didn't know what I meant when I asked if he wanted to fuck me, but he understood "I want you to fuck me." I pulled his cock in and started tonguing wildly with him. I remember that I had to get used to his stubble, after all it was early in the morning, but it turned me on. I kissed his entire body and sucked his dick wildly and deeply as he licked and fingered my ass. Then I lay back under him with my legs wrapped around him and begged him to fuck me and luckily he said "I'd love to". I got down on my knees, gave him the first condom and the lube and he smeared it both on his cock and on my anus. He slipped inside me without feeling any pain. When he was completely inside me, I almost cried with happiness. I think I shouted and groaned "Oh this is horny" a hundred times. It felt wonderfully delicious and so different from usual. He was a great lover: tender and rough, slow and fast, but above all in total rhythmic harmony with me. On my knees, on my stomach, on my back and on top of him, he continuously fucked me and I thought it was heaven on earth. We came together wonderfully and still lay in each other's arms and slept briefly. Then he got up, kissed me and said “goodbye”. I've never seen him again, but I honestly wouldn't know what his face looks like.
After that I went home, had sex with my wife for months again until the next gay experience presented itself, but more about that later….
When did this actually start? I remember well when I was six years old in the attic I found a toll with my grandparents with a stick on it with a round button on it. I don't know why, but at one point I put my underpants down and put the stick in my anus. It turned me on terribly. Again and again I pushed the stick in and then slowly pulled it out again. A wonderful feeling and it led to a wonderful erection. Had that been an omen? I did not associate this act with a penetration by a man. Just the physical feeling was nice, and maybe even the idea that I secretly did something forbidden? I remember being horny all day. After that experience, did I look differently at boys or men, or was I focused on dicks? No. Until I was fifteen I cannot remember any homoerotic experiences. At that age I went to Amsterdam with some friends and went to a peep show where you could also watch porn movies. After researching all the straight options, including a movie of a woman with a sheepdog that I didn't find exciting, I went into a booth and chose a gay movie. That interest could have signaled what was to come, but I probably only saw oral sex because the video did not impress much. Even collective masturbation experiences with friends at that time did not arouse any desire for men or cocks for me. The pinnacle, of course, was that the boy in a sailing camp who told me in our room at night about "how nice it was to put a finger in your anus" didn't wake me up in anything. It might not have helped that I had bowel disorders at the time, but I found the story and the boy more strange than exciting. But there was some slumber somewhere, because I know that an excerpt in an information book about young boys who were initiated by older boys into men's love did excite me. But still, gay eroticism was something far away, something that did not happen in my environment, and which was not for me. Even a very strange incident afterwards, did not ring a bell for me. I had driving lessons from a fat man of about sixty. I can't remember how the conversation turned to gay sex, but somehow we drove to the station bookstore and got the guy some gay booklets for me so I could see for myself. Would the driving instructor have noticed anything about me? During the conversation I showed something of interest in gay sex. Maybe the instructor fell on me but I never picked up those signals? In the evening in my bed I naturally read and watch pictures. I still remember that 20% of the content made me very horny, but also that I found 80% pathetic and dirty. In retrospect, I think at the time I thought that gay sex belonged mainly to my imagination and should take place between very attractive men with beautiful bodies and beautiful stiff cocks.
When I was now eighteen years old as a student, I went out every night and ended up in the strangest tents, I got to know the so-called shemales. Brazilian and Thai boys who to a greater or lesser extent had themselves converted into women. Once I was, quite tipsy, in the back of a car with a shemale. I put my hand on her knee and slowly moved it upwards. There I came across some rather firm underpants that made me feel a bulge that suggested a cock. I put my hand in the underpants and there I felt a small limp cock. Not very exciting, I left it at that and so no bells rang that something was wrong. That only came a few weeks later. With friends and my then girlfriend I was out and about in Amsterdam and we visited the Flora Palace, known for the slogan: "Hey, are you gay, see you monday at Flora Palace ". I do not remember anymore, but afterwards I will have given the final push to visit that tent. With a beer or twenty behind me, I started out moment secretly to the “Dark room.” A pitch-dark space in which men could have anonymous sex with each other. I stepped inside a corner and soon noticed that a man was standing next to me. My hand went to the man's crotch and there I felt my first real stiff cock. Not small, but not particularly big. Especially the swollen veins I noticed. Without thinking about it I got on my knees and put the cock in my mouth, sucked on it and blew the man. It excited me for a moment, "jesus, I'm here like a whore sucking a man, delicious," but unfortunately after a few minutes the fun seemed to be over again. Later I would recognize the pattern but at the time I subconsciously quit, got up and died ug to my company. With the man's pre-cum in my mouth and on my lips, I kissed my girlfriend at the time and had wonderful sex with her after the evening. The next day, with a big hangover, some gnawed, but exactly what that was, I had no idea. It just seemed to be someone else in my head who wanted and did things like that. I wasn't like that in person. Especially when I was busy, I was not into cocks and gay sex at all. I often fell madly in love with girls and then yearned for them, how the hell did this deviation fit in there? Again, I never fell in love with guys. I became good friends with the guys I liked, but I never really wanted sex with them. I never fantasized about having sex with famous guys. Strangely enough, although I often befriended boys who later turned out to be gay, the friendship often bled to death afterwards. When I masturbated, my fantasies were about faceless and personalityless men. They were machos who wanted to have sex with me, but they never had a face, they were cocks with a beautiful body on them. I don't remember my fantasies exactly, or I wanted to be fucked I don't remember, just the vague idea of an excited man wanting something with me.
Still, I went a step further every time. I noticed that if I were to be with a girlfriend for a long time, for example on a vacation of a few weeks, I wanted to have sex with someone else in the days before. That should have been women too, but yes, they are not always readily available. So back to a tent, preferably with a big gulp on it, where there were gays or shemales: The Odeon Cellar, or the DOK. There was one shemale around that I noticed. A Brazilian woman with beautiful firm breasts. When my friends were home I spoke to her. Inside she suggested to go to my room and I liked that, after all I had drunk enough for it. Once inside we were lying on my bed after a few minutes of kissing. She kissed wonderfully, a big tongue that penetrated deep into my mouth. I pulled her dress up and her underpants down and her stiff little penis about twelve centimeters leaped out. Without thinking, I started licking and sucking the penis. Again that was great the first few minutes, but after that the fun was quickly over. I lay on top of her and she led my cock to her ass. I entered her and fucked her for 5 minutes until I came in her. I found it terribly exciting, but after my orgasm, the excitement disappeared immediately and I actually wanted her to go away immediately. She noticed that, and she left, I am a bit ashamed of that afterwards, but it was very confusing for me. For months I was 100% straight again, but the effeminate niece happily returned.
After another drink-filled evening with friends, I walked past a gay disco on the ramparts. I must have looked interested because the doorman called me: "Just come here for a drink!" "If I can enter for free, I will do it," I said. That was no problem and before I knew it I was standing at the bar with a double vodka watching the gay sex video screen. As I expected, I found it very exciting. Watching stiff cocks disappearing in mouths and butts looked very natural and natural, as if it were meant to be. It completely sobbed me and I saw the world strangely sharp. The bartender saw it and pointed to the dark room: "You will find that interesting ...". Without thinking further, I entered the darkroom. After walking 1 meter in the dark I felt that hands were touching me, slid to my crotch and in no time my pants were open and I got a huge erection. Strange hands jerked me off, squeezed my balls and I had to sit back because I got dizzy from the horniness. I leaned against a man who started licking my neck. My shirt was pulled up and my left nipple was massaged and my right nipple licked. Then I felt a warm mouth around my cock. I was completely out of the world, how horny this was! When the man behind me started rubbing his cock on my anus I recovered a bit. It felt great but alarm bells also went off, "I'll blow you," I whispered. I pushed the crowd around me, got down on my knees, and looked for his cock. Near my face I grabbed a big cock and started licking the head. How nice it felt, a kind of silky soft layer over a rock hard post. More and more I started to lick and suck, and eventually I put his cock in my mouth as far as possible, almost against my throat. My head was empty, I blew this man like a full-blown slut, it felt wonderful all the time. Someone else pressed his cock to my cheek. I also took him in my mouth. I wanted more cocks, I couldn't think of anything else, in my mouth, in my ass and in my hands, hundreds! One of the men neatly indicated that he was going to cum so I jerked him off until I heard him moan and his seed ran over my hands. That was the time for me to return to reality. Suddenly I wanted to go home to my girlfriend.
The next morning I woke up with two kinds of confusing thoughts in my head: "I am really gay, or am I bi, it was disgusting, it was very horny, I don't want this anymore, I got something right away", it was a huge chaos in my head that lasted two more days. After that my normal life came back. I still had myself tested if I had not caught something, fortunately that was not the case, but partly due to that test experience I was quite a while free from the need for men's love. I sometimes visited a gay site, or read stories about gay Amsterdam and discovered the many possibilities that Amsterdam had to offer, but took no action. Until my best friend's bachelor.
After a lot of alcohol again, I was on my way home at about three in the morning. I actually didn't feel like going home yet, but sitting alone in a bar didn't seem appealing to me either. Why not even look in the gay sauna, came to mind. Just watch and get nowhere! Moments later I was in the shower, then put on my towel and went on a journey of discovery. I saw men making love in the sauna, men blowing each other in the steam room and a man getting fucked at the entrance to the darkroom. The most exciting thing was the private cabins. There lay and stood in alluring poses, alluring me. Gradually I became completely gay again from the gay disco. Without that I walked naked into the darkroom. I grabbed every cock that came close to me. I immediately took big cocks in my mouth, then I got up and moaned at the man "I want you to fuck me". Then I rubbed their wet head against my anus, moaning until I felt that they wanted to push. When I felt their jerk in me, I stopped and said that it should only be safe and that they should get a condom. I sucked twenty cocks and felt it in my ass, I got so horny! Now it was time to be deflowered. At the bar I got a handful of condoms and packs of lube. My desire to be fucked was overpowering. This primal feeling, which was hitherto completely unknown to me, always seemed to have been there, I thought it was the most natural thing in the world to long for a cock in my ass, for a man who was going to fuck me. I picked out a well-lit private cabin, left the door open, and lay down so that both my butt and my cock were clearly visible. Fortunately I have a nice round ass with a slim body and I am well-made, so you will attract men with that I thought. Every time a man stood in the door, I stroked my buttocks and asked if I could see his cock. Some cocks I found too big, others too small or sometimes I found the man not tough enough to deflower me, it had to be a real man. If they wanted to step inside I pushed them back. Then my prince came on the white horse: muscular, chest hair and a cock of about 18 cm (that's how long my cock is, so I could see that well). I didn't see his face properly, but I found that exciting. He didn't know what I meant when I asked if he wanted to fuck me, but he understood "I want you to fuck me." I pulled his cock in and started tonguing wildly with him. I remember that I had to get used to his stubble, after all it was early in the morning, but it turned me on. I kissed his entire body and sucked his dick wildly and deeply as he licked and fingered my ass. Then I lay back under him with my legs wrapped around him and begged him to fuck me and luckily he said "I'd love to". I got down on my knees, gave him the first condom and the lube and he smeared it both on his cock and on my anus. He slipped inside me without feeling any pain. When he was completely inside me, I almost cried with happiness. I think I shouted and groaned "Oh this is horny" a hundred times. It felt wonderfully delicious and so different from usual. He was a great lover: tender and rough, slow and fast, but above all in total rhythmic harmony with me. On my knees, on my stomach, on my back and on top of him, he continuously fucked me and I thought it was heaven on earth. We came together wonderfully and still lay in each other's arms and slept briefly. Then he got up, kissed me and said “goodbye”. I've never seen him again, but I honestly wouldn't know what his face looks like.
After that I went home, had sex with my wife for months again until the next gay experience presented itself, but more about that later….
5 years ago
