Thoughts On The Power Of Action Vs. Degradation
My thoughts below on this post I recently ran across ;)
https://xhamster.com/posts/854523
For me, I am a voracious reader of erotica centered around the American culturally negatively re-inforced subject of a man and another enjoying what each has to offer. Although I don't share your ideas and contentions exactly, I found this piece thought-provoking and it really had my attention and I couldn't stop reading it.
Yes, I was married for a number of years to a wonderful woman who I was deeply in love with. We married in our early thirties as we had both seemed to have sewn or wild oats. What I found in her made me finally feel like the "normal" man I so desperately felt I needed to be to fit in, in our culture. I felt like all those thoughts and desires that I repressed since I was little, were finally able to be conquered and allowed to be put to rest.
As the years rolled by, my mind would wander here and there to those feelings again, the needs and desires you outline, are not exactly mine, but what I do share is the need to be me and share that with a man who wants someone like me. After sixteen years of sharing our lives together, she seemingly felt the flick of a switch and without verbalizing anything, took our relationship and placed it in the garbage as someone would place something they no longer found useful or valuable.
The connection we had was severed at lightening speed. I was literally in shock and the devastation I felt was indescribable. Nothing I said or did seemed to be welcomed or even considered. She had found a man she needed to be with more than me and there was no discussion or turning back. That time and the many years that followed were easily the darkest in my entire life.
However, those years also let me address what I had repressed for so long. I remember when I was alone and they started to bubble up again, instant denial and repression as I had always done. Then one day, I faced them and it was almost as I said "Hello" to them. Like I almost said "What do you want? Who are you?" As I stopped avoiding them and started acknowledging them, I realized they weren't going to hurt me as they were me and they were mine.
I am someone who has finally accepted who I am and although it's completely counter-culture, I am just as worthy as anyone else in this world we share. I know it sounds ridiculous or denial by definition, but I don't look at a man and say to myself, wow that man is very attractive to me. After years of trying to get down to what it is that drives these feelings, my heart has opened up and shared with my mind that this need that I have, is intimacy.
Intimacy on every level imaginable, deep friendship, unwavering trust and acceptance, deep respect for time together and of course the ability to let it all go and please one another on the deep-seated primal instinct ingrained in our human brains after thousands of years of evolution. For me, having a man refer to me in a degrading homosexual manner is just that-degrading. Not because of my obvious birth gender, but because of how and who I see myself as in my mind.
I detest the labels our preceding generations that have crossed all cultural boundaries. I detest them because they seek to pass judgment on who is worthy and who is not able to contribute in a meaningful way to the good of the tribe. To me, that is the true tragedy of where mankind finds itself as we can look around and marvel at what we have accomplished at this stage in our existence. I know that who I am is not defined by my once inhibited sexual desires and needs. I know that my ability to make a man feel the pleasure that I am willing and able to provide is okay and extremely attractive to many.
As far as how I can relate and identify with what you wrote, I feel I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be the best bottom possible. I do understand that many feel the degradation of the bottom empowers them and heightens the experience they have in being the top. The feeling of taking what they want without any regard to the bottom's needs or desires. The sexual satisfaction of the tops actions being the entire focus of the act itself. The dominant/submissive dynamics at play.
For me though, all those things can be achieved without the total and complete degradation of the bottom when as they say, actions speak louder than words. I know that I can be the bottom my man needs me to be and express that through how my body responds to his body's movements. I can make him feel just as powerful without the outright verbal humiliation and leave him just as satisfied as if he had used his voice, and maybe even more so.
Anyway, just my observations. I really, really enjoyed what you wrote and thank you for sharing it.
https://xhamster.com/posts/854523
For me, I am a voracious reader of erotica centered around the American culturally negatively re-inforced subject of a man and another enjoying what each has to offer. Although I don't share your ideas and contentions exactly, I found this piece thought-provoking and it really had my attention and I couldn't stop reading it.
Yes, I was married for a number of years to a wonderful woman who I was deeply in love with. We married in our early thirties as we had both seemed to have sewn or wild oats. What I found in her made me finally feel like the "normal" man I so desperately felt I needed to be to fit in, in our culture. I felt like all those thoughts and desires that I repressed since I was little, were finally able to be conquered and allowed to be put to rest.
As the years rolled by, my mind would wander here and there to those feelings again, the needs and desires you outline, are not exactly mine, but what I do share is the need to be me and share that with a man who wants someone like me. After sixteen years of sharing our lives together, she seemingly felt the flick of a switch and without verbalizing anything, took our relationship and placed it in the garbage as someone would place something they no longer found useful or valuable.
The connection we had was severed at lightening speed. I was literally in shock and the devastation I felt was indescribable. Nothing I said or did seemed to be welcomed or even considered. She had found a man she needed to be with more than me and there was no discussion or turning back. That time and the many years that followed were easily the darkest in my entire life.
However, those years also let me address what I had repressed for so long. I remember when I was alone and they started to bubble up again, instant denial and repression as I had always done. Then one day, I faced them and it was almost as I said "Hello" to them. Like I almost said "What do you want? Who are you?" As I stopped avoiding them and started acknowledging them, I realized they weren't going to hurt me as they were me and they were mine.
I am someone who has finally accepted who I am and although it's completely counter-culture, I am just as worthy as anyone else in this world we share. I know it sounds ridiculous or denial by definition, but I don't look at a man and say to myself, wow that man is very attractive to me. After years of trying to get down to what it is that drives these feelings, my heart has opened up and shared with my mind that this need that I have, is intimacy.
Intimacy on every level imaginable, deep friendship, unwavering trust and acceptance, deep respect for time together and of course the ability to let it all go and please one another on the deep-seated primal instinct ingrained in our human brains after thousands of years of evolution. For me, having a man refer to me in a degrading homosexual manner is just that-degrading. Not because of my obvious birth gender, but because of how and who I see myself as in my mind.
I detest the labels our preceding generations that have crossed all cultural boundaries. I detest them because they seek to pass judgment on who is worthy and who is not able to contribute in a meaningful way to the good of the tribe. To me, that is the true tragedy of where mankind finds itself as we can look around and marvel at what we have accomplished at this stage in our existence. I know that who I am is not defined by my once inhibited sexual desires and needs. I know that my ability to make a man feel the pleasure that I am willing and able to provide is okay and extremely attractive to many.
As far as how I can relate and identify with what you wrote, I feel I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be the best bottom possible. I do understand that many feel the degradation of the bottom empowers them and heightens the experience they have in being the top. The feeling of taking what they want without any regard to the bottom's needs or desires. The sexual satisfaction of the tops actions being the entire focus of the act itself. The dominant/submissive dynamics at play.
For me though, all those things can be achieved without the total and complete degradation of the bottom when as they say, actions speak louder than words. I know that I can be the bottom my man needs me to be and express that through how my body responds to his body's movements. I can make him feel just as powerful without the outright verbal humiliation and leave him just as satisfied as if he had used his voice, and maybe even more so.
Anyway, just my observations. I really, really enjoyed what you wrote and thank you for sharing it.
5 years ago