Mommy’s pussy was tingly cos she was tired as fuck, so naturally she had to start playing

I don't want to set the dog off by talking. I can't handle that.

Like, I've had a really rubbish night's ***** and just wanted to chill in bed, watch TV for a bit.

But my bits are really, really tingly and need playing with.

So, yeah, I realise what I'm watching on the telly isn't the most whack-worthy material.

Some real CSI documentary programme thing.