Very fine British joi there mate

I've got myself a keycard, I've let myself into a house, it's huge isn't it?

You kind of made out that you and your wife had quite a modest living

But now that I've come here and seen all these bedrooms, summer house, you've got everything going for you

And then it was just a case of checking your wife's diary which she leaves around absentmindedly

And finding a weekend where she's away with the girls