How I become a boy devoted to BBC #1
I have been asked many times how everything started. After many years I am still amazed on how everything started. I always thought it must have been my fate. I mean, I do not know if to call it luck or just things were supposed to go that way. But the more I look back the more I think something extraordinary happened in one precise day of my life that started all. A connection of many small and insignificant things combined to give rise to an explosive mix that I call the origin. Then, little by little everything changed in my life in a way I never imagined. I was a young and naïve first-year college student, 19 yo, starting to explore his sexuality. What happened on that day, more than 20 yeards ago, helped me to go over some prejudice, to accept my body and my nature. I still say I am bisex because I like girls, I am amazed by their beauty. However, sexually I feel satisfied and completely free with top black men only. I think this kind of path was possible because I met the right people at the proper time of my life when I was young and easy to mold. From one side you might think that it was just an imprinting, that someone molded me as he wished despite of my will. But after many years I can say this was not the case. He only helped me showing me the way and giving me the privilege to achieve the biggest fulfillment of my life ( which is understanding and accepting myself exactly as I am witohut any constraints). I will talk about the contrasts I had to face, the afterthoughts and the struggles against my own pride and masculinity till I accepted my nature and my destiny as a submissive black cock owned boy. And there is more because one thing is to just be available to accept black men as lovers, a completely different thing is to accept every black men wanting to use you for their pleasure, even if you do not know them, even if you do not like how they look, or even if you just cannot even look because you’re blindfolded or because of the darkness.
So everything started in 1998, internet was only at the beginning in Italy, not very popular and no smartphones. There were only mobile phones and short text messages (sms). Meeting new people was more direct, on real life…there was no virtual life. As I said I was 19 years old, male looking in good shape but I have never been a muscular guy, nor I went to the gym. As a physical activity I just did some running. I used to have pretty long brown hairs, just reaching my shoulders and heazel eyes. I had no facial hairs and very few hairs on the body. Also, there were two body parts of me that where quite uncommon for a guy. First I have large nipples. Second my butt is quite fat, for being a guy and it is even more evident because I had a woman-like small waist. My butt was soft and round, it looked and felt like the butt of a curvy woman. I have to say that I never felt like a sissy or a femboy..I was just a boy with this exception of large nipples and round butt. Also, I have a small cock, and also I cum quickly…so I always felt I could not satisfy girl needs. I admiredr well hung male pornstars watching how thay could fuck so good the girls and wondering how I would have felt if they fucked me. This was something that puzzled me about watching porn I used to imagine to be the girl, not the man..and enjoy his energy. I think these body features somehow affected my sexuality. I did not consider myself gay however and I was attracted by girls. Nevertheless, sometimes I had girl-like behaviours. For example, sometimes I enjoyed wearing lingerie at home and looking myself at the mirror fantasizing about what a men would think looking at me…ust wondering if he couls have found my niplles and my butt acctractive. In public I behaved, looked and dressed like a boy. The only exception I made it was while I went to do jogging around the park. I liked to wear leggings for men. They were quite tight and my butt looked really round and fat wrapped on these. While I was running, I fell brave enough to wear them, helped by a large t-shirt and big sunglasses to protect me, like a shield, from people judgments. In my fantasies I loved to think that someone would notice my feminine side but that was all.
Ok…there is one detail I skipped…but I guess it is important for you to understand: I liked to play and stimulate my ass with a dildo while I was masturbating at home. It was pretty big, like 20 cm ( about 8 inch) and with time I got used to it…I enjoyed to see my gaped hole after I played with it and fantasiszing about how it looked like a pussy. But that was all about my sexuality towards the gay side. I never had a male partner and I only had a few sex dates with girls but very disappointing...i knew i was not goo in pleasing girls.
It was late spring, like end of May maybe first days of june and I used to go for a 45 min run everyday in the morning at the park near my house (I lived with my parents although I had a bedroom with my own bathroom). I liked to sleep and I used to study during the night so I usually started running at 10.30 -11.00. In that period of the year it is actually already quite hot here in Rome. There was a loop in the park, like 8-10 minutes running for a round trip and I usually did 4 to 5 rounds. I felt sexy with my leggings and behind of my big sunglasses I tried to see if people noticed me while running…that was the usual game I liked to play to spend time and not to think at the physical effort while I was running. I must say that typically people do not look at other people running, maybe ony girls are noticed.
However, let’s go to the point. In those days they were making a new pavement on a part of the park, with new lights, fences and so on… There were 3 guys working. One of them was a black male, he looked older than me, like 30-35 yo and he had big arms and chest and he was sweating a lot! As I ran nearby for the first time I could not avoid looking at him and yes, I felt some attraction for him but I did not focus on the fact that he was black. He was an handsome man!!! Having my sunglasses on I thought he would not notice I was looking at him…but he did! So I just smiled and said “buongiorno” (wich is good morning in italian) and he said “ciao” (Hi) as I crossed him. After a few steps ahead I turned back to look and I found he was still looking at me!!! I kept running and I started fantasizing: “maybe he was looking at my butt!!!”. I wanted to understand if he really noticed me, I was so excited and my heart was beating faster while I was approaching again the place where he was working. Here he is…and…oh my…he waived at me!!! and so did I, with a smile. I passed over and after a few steps turned back again to see if he was watching at my butt and he was!!! He smiled with a wow face!!! I blushed, smiled again and said “thank you”. I was quite embarrassed it was the first time I received a sign of appreciation for my butt from a stranger in public!!! I could not believe it….but it was such a thrill!!!
After my running I was in line at a drinking fountain, to put some fresh water on my head and to get some water. There was a kid before me playing with the water so I was waiting and since I was tired I was slightly bent with my hands on my knees and my butt wrapped in tight yoga pants and facing upwards . Suddenly I could hear a low pitched “hummmm” behind me. I looked back and it was him! He was in line after me to get some refresh and…he was staring at my butt! While waiting he took his t-shirt off, he had an A-shirt under it…and I must say that in that moment I noticed his big arms and shoulders and his wonderful dark skin with the white A-shirt. He was so sexy! I never felt so attracted by the body of a man before. I did not know what to say but I had to say something to get an eye contact other way he would have continued to look at my butt.
So I said: “it’s so hot today it must be hard to work under the sun..please you can go first”.
He: “Oh thank you but I really enjoy staying here. Right now something else is hard and I bet you’d like it a lot! Don’t you?”
I blushed but I could not say anything….i did not expect he could be so rude!
So he said: ”listen, I’ll be very direct because my Italian speaking is not good, I have no time to talk and I know we are not having another chance to talk but I need to tell you something.”
He continued: ”I am straight, never been with a guy and in my culture homosexuality is considered really bad but today I just noticed you have this great piece of ass”
All I could say was: “Oh yes…I noticed!!!” and laughed stupidly….then: “Thank you again” and I smiled trying to hide my embarrassment.
And he continued: “it’s more than the view”
Me: “what do you mean?”
He: “I believe that your white ass deserves to be used. It looks is built for big cocks like mine despite of you not being a girl. Don’t you agree?”
I was scared by his rude and straightforward approach…how did he dare? I thought that maybe my kind behavior pushed him to feel free to talk to me this way….maybe I made a mistake to put on those leggings. Maybe they were an explicit message for him that I was looking for sex. But he was wrong, I just wanted to be noticed…it is about vanity, I fantasized about teasing men but I was not looking for a sexual partner. From one side I was scared and felt offended, from the other I was also terribly excited. I had to say something, I did not want to reject his approach but I did not want to sexually provoke him to go further, especially that way in public, someone could hear our discussion.
I said: “well I do not know, I never considered this before”
He answered immediately: ”well, I am here to help you find it out!”
Me: “WOOOW….but you just said you are straight”
He: “ Oh yes…100% straight I have no sexual interest for you except, I need to empty my balls often and your ass looks like the perfect cumdump.”
That was too much!!! So I said:”Hey….do not say that, Ok you are an handsome man and I admit I looked at you while I was running. However, it does not mean anything and you are way too rude, I do not even know you and you should show some respect. Also, people around could hear your words”
My words somehow had an effect because he looked at his colleagues who were starting to wonder why he was taking so long and why he was talking to me. However from his answer I realized that the last part of my sentence was all he cared about.
So he cut it short: “OK I have to figure out a way just to use your asshole, if you know what I mean” and he continued “probably you do not understand and I cannot explain now”
Me:”Indeed I do not understand, you sound sex addicted, you are sick”
He:” After you finished here at the fountain, stay close and pretend to be texting someone with your mobile phone. I will tell you my telephone number while I refresh myself. Then send me a sms with just one word “Hi”. We are not going to talk anymore , nobody should see me talking to you”. Then he said, if you write me we will continue talking by messages other way if not interested, never mind…just quit.”
I was embarrassed and wanted the conversation In public to end without conflicts so I said: “ok”
That was all, then I wrote his number on my phone and went home thinking that probably I would have never sent that message to him. I have been thinking about what happened for all the day, I could not believe how it was possible that I have been approached in such a rude and sexual explicit way.
He took a big risk, I could have called the police for sexual harassment. However, a part of me was excited by his ways and enjoyed his attentions. I could feel his desire for my body…also he was such a beautiful man and the fact that he took that risk with me made me feel flattered. Something was changing, a part of me started to desire him sexually. Another small detail, “His rudeness” have been the key to unlock this hidden part of my sexuality.
So, I took a deep breath and with my heart pumping fast that evening I send the message: “Hi”.
I hope you did not get bored reading this. If you want I can continue and tell you what happened next….
So everything started in 1998, internet was only at the beginning in Italy, not very popular and no smartphones. There were only mobile phones and short text messages (sms). Meeting new people was more direct, on real life…there was no virtual life. As I said I was 19 years old, male looking in good shape but I have never been a muscular guy, nor I went to the gym. As a physical activity I just did some running. I used to have pretty long brown hairs, just reaching my shoulders and heazel eyes. I had no facial hairs and very few hairs on the body. Also, there were two body parts of me that where quite uncommon for a guy. First I have large nipples. Second my butt is quite fat, for being a guy and it is even more evident because I had a woman-like small waist. My butt was soft and round, it looked and felt like the butt of a curvy woman. I have to say that I never felt like a sissy or a femboy..I was just a boy with this exception of large nipples and round butt. Also, I have a small cock, and also I cum quickly…so I always felt I could not satisfy girl needs. I admiredr well hung male pornstars watching how thay could fuck so good the girls and wondering how I would have felt if they fucked me. This was something that puzzled me about watching porn I used to imagine to be the girl, not the man..and enjoy his energy. I think these body features somehow affected my sexuality. I did not consider myself gay however and I was attracted by girls. Nevertheless, sometimes I had girl-like behaviours. For example, sometimes I enjoyed wearing lingerie at home and looking myself at the mirror fantasizing about what a men would think looking at me…ust wondering if he couls have found my niplles and my butt acctractive. In public I behaved, looked and dressed like a boy. The only exception I made it was while I went to do jogging around the park. I liked to wear leggings for men. They were quite tight and my butt looked really round and fat wrapped on these. While I was running, I fell brave enough to wear them, helped by a large t-shirt and big sunglasses to protect me, like a shield, from people judgments. In my fantasies I loved to think that someone would notice my feminine side but that was all.
Ok…there is one detail I skipped…but I guess it is important for you to understand: I liked to play and stimulate my ass with a dildo while I was masturbating at home. It was pretty big, like 20 cm ( about 8 inch) and with time I got used to it…I enjoyed to see my gaped hole after I played with it and fantasiszing about how it looked like a pussy. But that was all about my sexuality towards the gay side. I never had a male partner and I only had a few sex dates with girls but very disappointing...i knew i was not goo in pleasing girls.
It was late spring, like end of May maybe first days of june and I used to go for a 45 min run everyday in the morning at the park near my house (I lived with my parents although I had a bedroom with my own bathroom). I liked to sleep and I used to study during the night so I usually started running at 10.30 -11.00. In that period of the year it is actually already quite hot here in Rome. There was a loop in the park, like 8-10 minutes running for a round trip and I usually did 4 to 5 rounds. I felt sexy with my leggings and behind of my big sunglasses I tried to see if people noticed me while running…that was the usual game I liked to play to spend time and not to think at the physical effort while I was running. I must say that typically people do not look at other people running, maybe ony girls are noticed.
However, let’s go to the point. In those days they were making a new pavement on a part of the park, with new lights, fences and so on… There were 3 guys working. One of them was a black male, he looked older than me, like 30-35 yo and he had big arms and chest and he was sweating a lot! As I ran nearby for the first time I could not avoid looking at him and yes, I felt some attraction for him but I did not focus on the fact that he was black. He was an handsome man!!! Having my sunglasses on I thought he would not notice I was looking at him…but he did! So I just smiled and said “buongiorno” (wich is good morning in italian) and he said “ciao” (Hi) as I crossed him. After a few steps ahead I turned back to look and I found he was still looking at me!!! I kept running and I started fantasizing: “maybe he was looking at my butt!!!”. I wanted to understand if he really noticed me, I was so excited and my heart was beating faster while I was approaching again the place where he was working. Here he is…and…oh my…he waived at me!!! and so did I, with a smile. I passed over and after a few steps turned back again to see if he was watching at my butt and he was!!! He smiled with a wow face!!! I blushed, smiled again and said “thank you”. I was quite embarrassed it was the first time I received a sign of appreciation for my butt from a stranger in public!!! I could not believe it….but it was such a thrill!!!
After my running I was in line at a drinking fountain, to put some fresh water on my head and to get some water. There was a kid before me playing with the water so I was waiting and since I was tired I was slightly bent with my hands on my knees and my butt wrapped in tight yoga pants and facing upwards . Suddenly I could hear a low pitched “hummmm” behind me. I looked back and it was him! He was in line after me to get some refresh and…he was staring at my butt! While waiting he took his t-shirt off, he had an A-shirt under it…and I must say that in that moment I noticed his big arms and shoulders and his wonderful dark skin with the white A-shirt. He was so sexy! I never felt so attracted by the body of a man before. I did not know what to say but I had to say something to get an eye contact other way he would have continued to look at my butt.
So I said: “it’s so hot today it must be hard to work under the sun..please you can go first”.
He: “Oh thank you but I really enjoy staying here. Right now something else is hard and I bet you’d like it a lot! Don’t you?”
I blushed but I could not say anything….i did not expect he could be so rude!
So he said: ”listen, I’ll be very direct because my Italian speaking is not good, I have no time to talk and I know we are not having another chance to talk but I need to tell you something.”
He continued: ”I am straight, never been with a guy and in my culture homosexuality is considered really bad but today I just noticed you have this great piece of ass”
All I could say was: “Oh yes…I noticed!!!” and laughed stupidly….then: “Thank you again” and I smiled trying to hide my embarrassment.
And he continued: “it’s more than the view”
Me: “what do you mean?”
He: “I believe that your white ass deserves to be used. It looks is built for big cocks like mine despite of you not being a girl. Don’t you agree?”
I was scared by his rude and straightforward approach…how did he dare? I thought that maybe my kind behavior pushed him to feel free to talk to me this way….maybe I made a mistake to put on those leggings. Maybe they were an explicit message for him that I was looking for sex. But he was wrong, I just wanted to be noticed…it is about vanity, I fantasized about teasing men but I was not looking for a sexual partner. From one side I was scared and felt offended, from the other I was also terribly excited. I had to say something, I did not want to reject his approach but I did not want to sexually provoke him to go further, especially that way in public, someone could hear our discussion.
I said: “well I do not know, I never considered this before”
He answered immediately: ”well, I am here to help you find it out!”
Me: “WOOOW….but you just said you are straight”
He: “ Oh yes…100% straight I have no sexual interest for you except, I need to empty my balls often and your ass looks like the perfect cumdump.”
That was too much!!! So I said:”Hey….do not say that, Ok you are an handsome man and I admit I looked at you while I was running. However, it does not mean anything and you are way too rude, I do not even know you and you should show some respect. Also, people around could hear your words”
My words somehow had an effect because he looked at his colleagues who were starting to wonder why he was taking so long and why he was talking to me. However from his answer I realized that the last part of my sentence was all he cared about.
So he cut it short: “OK I have to figure out a way just to use your asshole, if you know what I mean” and he continued “probably you do not understand and I cannot explain now”
Me:”Indeed I do not understand, you sound sex addicted, you are sick”
He:” After you finished here at the fountain, stay close and pretend to be texting someone with your mobile phone. I will tell you my telephone number while I refresh myself. Then send me a sms with just one word “Hi”. We are not going to talk anymore , nobody should see me talking to you”. Then he said, if you write me we will continue talking by messages other way if not interested, never mind…just quit.”
I was embarrassed and wanted the conversation In public to end without conflicts so I said: “ok”
That was all, then I wrote his number on my phone and went home thinking that probably I would have never sent that message to him. I have been thinking about what happened for all the day, I could not believe how it was possible that I have been approached in such a rude and sexual explicit way.
He took a big risk, I could have called the police for sexual harassment. However, a part of me was excited by his ways and enjoyed his attentions. I could feel his desire for my body…also he was such a beautiful man and the fact that he took that risk with me made me feel flattered. Something was changing, a part of me started to desire him sexually. Another small detail, “His rudeness” have been the key to unlock this hidden part of my sexuality.
So, I took a deep breath and with my heart pumping fast that evening I send the message: “Hi”.
I hope you did not get bored reading this. If you want I can continue and tell you what happened next….
4 months ago