How I become a boy devoted to BBC #2
Continue.....
After that sms, I did not hear from him for about a week. In these days I went running and saw him working, but he never looked at me, never said hi, nothing. My head was spinning, I did not understand what he had in mind. I believe he was blocked by his cultural heritage about feeling gay, or maybe he was afraid of being judged by his friends and colleagues if something came out. I also thought that maybe he was not really interested and it was making fun of me. I was very confused and the fact that he was ignoring me was driving me crazy. Another small but crucial detail:”the wait”. All the thinking and trying to analyze his rude approach was little by little preparing me to accept everything he could have proposed. He felt so secure and experienced, I did not want to disappoint him and I needed to feel I was able to please him. But I had no idea at that time of what was happening…I was driven by the flow.
Then, one day I got a sms from him.
He wrote: “I figured out how to fuck your ass. You have to accept 3 conditions, just tell me if it is ok for you”
Nobody has ever been so explicit about wanting to have sex with me…I thought it was due to the language barrier since his Italian language was not very good. Anyway, my heart was beating fast for the excitement and I was projecting the “being rude” in “he really wants me a lot, he likes me a lot”.
I answered, “what rules?”
Then he sent me 3 long messages, one for each condition, ( I do not remember his exact words but I remember very well the content. The fist was:
1 About the way you offer your body to my pleasure: You must be freshly and completely shaved up to your waist. You must be clean inside. You must wear stockings, g-strings and just a t-shirt as a top. You must use a woman's body lotion with a nice and sexy woman perfume. Your ass must be ready for penetration, opened, and properly lubed. I hope you are well trained cause I am pretty big and I will go hard and deep on you.
About the first part I thought it was reasonable, besides the fact that he wanted me to be clean he wanted me to feel more feminine. About being open, I was used to the size of my 8-inch dildo and I thought no real man could be as big as it was. So I felt comfortable about handling him ( yes…I was naïve and without experience..i should have thought better about it). Anyway, rejecting him was not an option. I wanted him, he has been successful in turning on my desire and for me it was a pleasure and easy to fulfill his request so I answered pretty fast.
I said: “no problem”
2 About our interaction: we do not talk and we do not see each other: We communicate by sms only…and I do not accept a no from you. When I need to empty my balls you must be available as soon as possible in that same day, I will not wait till the next day. You send me a sms when you are at the entrance door of my house, I open it and you come upstairs to the flat. You will find the door opened, enter and close the door. The first door on the right is my bedroom…go in, undress and get ready. When you are ready send a sms and turn the light off. Then put yourself in doggy at the border of the bed and wait for me. When I will have finished I go away. Right after you can turn on the light, get dressed and go home…I do not want to see you. Soon you will forget my face and so I will do for you. You’ll remember my cock very well and I will remember your ass.
This was weird. I have never had sex with a man before and I really could not imagine that this was going to be my first time. I expected it should be more like a boy-girl intimate connection, touching kissing, and having fun together. Also I felt a little bit humiliated that he wanted to do it without light, just at the dark, and did not want even to see or talk to me before or after.
However, rather than say no, I tried to figure out why of this request and I thought that it was related to his cultural brakes about homosexuality…maybe he felt ashamed of something that he somehow desired but could not admit. I was sure that if we enjoyed each other, little by little we could have removed this rule and have something like a relationship.
I took like half an hour to answer but then I said: “ok”
3. Accept your role as my cumdump: I do not use condoms and I cum inside. I am clean, I got tested before coming to Italy.
This request scared me. At that time I could not understand why it could be so important for him not to use a condom so I said: “This is very risky, I never had unprotected sex with girls and I do not see why we should do it…I mean it can be fun anyway don’t you think?”
His answer was very rough. “You have to say Yes or no….if you say no we stop it here and you will never be suitable for my big black African cock.”
That was the hardest point for me to accept…and his answer sounded like a challenge to me….also I did not want to disappoint him and in the previous days, my head has been spinning so much on fantasies I was obsessed…so I said to myself…”if he is so careful about all these details and if he says he is clean maybe I should trust him. Let’s try one time and see how it goes.…
So I say “ok, if it is so important for you I accept it, I do not want to disappoint you”
“Very good” he said. Then he added: “Soon you will experience how it feels to be owned by a black man from Africa and you will experience the real sex. You will love it and that will change your life forever”
I said: ”you are scaring me” and he answered: “do not worry, your big, fat white ass is a clear sign, I have no doubts. You will find out soon you are a black cock slut and you cannot escape from your fate.”
These words sounded so exciting but scary..I had no idea of what was going to happen.
However I was surprised because I was not offended by his words anymore. I thought, “ok it is just his way of talking, he does not know how to say things more smoothly”. I always tried to justify his manners.
Then he said: ”now stop talking, I will message you when I want to fuck your ass”.
It was Friday so I had the weekend to start getting ready for him. I went shopping cause I only had a few things and I wanted to buy new sexy lingerie for him. It was fun to look for stockings and lingerie, trying to figure out if he would have liked it. I also tested several women's body lotions trying to guess what fragrance would be his favorite one. I picked a very sweet body lotion called “Angel”, I still use it after 25 years.
Somehow I already felt like I was his woman. I was doing all these things to please him.
Friday night I played with my dildo fantasizing he was him. I never tried to push it all the way in because in my masturbation games, I just needed a little bit of anal stimulation and I felt that it hurt if I went too deep. But that day I thought I had to try to take it balls deep cause he might have been as big as the dildo. It had a vacuum lock so I stuck it on the floor, I lubed it and I lubed my ass. Then I sat on it and I pushed as down as I could. I could feel a sense of fullness but then it stopped somehow 1 inch before the balls. I could feel hitting a spot and not being able to pass it. I tried to push harder but it hurt and it was not going more than that. When I took it out there was some red spot on the tip. So I got scared and stopped immediately.
So I started to think: “ What if do not like anal sex with him? And if I have to stop him because of the pain? he will not like me and he will be disappointed. He will not want to see me anymore” Too much thinking I guess but I could not avoid it…I did not want to disappoint him.
At that time I did not have internet. I thought that it reached the end of my ass and I was afraid it was too short for him.
So the day after I went to a sexy shop. I was very embarrassed but I needed to ask about these things and I did not know who else to ask. There was this older lady and she explained me about the sigmoid bend. She said it takes a lot of patience and lube and she said I should not be worried because it is extremely rare that a man can go so deep. I was too shy to say that my lover was a black man and that he told me he was quite big. So I just said I wanted to train my ass and be able to take my dildo to the balls.
And she said: “relax, try to find the right angle and position and put lube inside with a big syringe”
She added: “ Anyway, go slow and do not push, you can get hurt. it is a matter of time and training. Always stop if you see a red spot”
I bought the big syringe and a big bottle of lube, I also bought an anal douche to clean myself. I went home, got ready for my session, injected the lube, and tried again with my dildo. It still hurt but I could feel something different. With the lube, my inner body was trying to make room for the dildo. I could feel it was stretching my bowels but it was not enough. It was a strong stimulation but not a discomfort…a mixed pleasure and pain. I still could not take it all the way but the feeling was acceptable. Indeed I could feel some drop of cum on my cock…I was close to the orgasm. So I gave just a few deep strokes with the dildo. It was painful but I had an orgasm without touching myself.
I thought: “ ok this is why some people are obsessed with penis sizes…a bigger cock feels way better than an average one…it is completely a new experience”
And I went further: “Maybe he can give me an orgasm just fucking me. If it is so, maybe I am more similar to a girl than to a man. I cannot make a girl cum with my small cock but a big cock can make me cum”
I know they were crazy thoughts but I really had to learn so many things about sex, everything for me was a new discovery and something to think about. I think from that day cock sizes started to become important to me and at the same time I started to lose interest in sex with girls.
So I was telling to myself: “Maybe the rude black man at the park was right about me, about my ass, being built for big black cocks”
Probably this day is the origin of how I became a size queen. With years and years, I explored and got used to very large, huge, (I’d say extreme) dildos sizes.
Next time I will finally tell you about the meeting with my black lover…yes, because despite what he felt and the way he wanted to dominate me I already considered him as my lover. Just give me a sign that you enjoy the reading…I decided to use this thread to collect my memories so I will continue anyway. However it is nice to feel that my writings might be of inspiration for someone.
After that sms, I did not hear from him for about a week. In these days I went running and saw him working, but he never looked at me, never said hi, nothing. My head was spinning, I did not understand what he had in mind. I believe he was blocked by his cultural heritage about feeling gay, or maybe he was afraid of being judged by his friends and colleagues if something came out. I also thought that maybe he was not really interested and it was making fun of me. I was very confused and the fact that he was ignoring me was driving me crazy. Another small but crucial detail:”the wait”. All the thinking and trying to analyze his rude approach was little by little preparing me to accept everything he could have proposed. He felt so secure and experienced, I did not want to disappoint him and I needed to feel I was able to please him. But I had no idea at that time of what was happening…I was driven by the flow.
Then, one day I got a sms from him.
He wrote: “I figured out how to fuck your ass. You have to accept 3 conditions, just tell me if it is ok for you”
Nobody has ever been so explicit about wanting to have sex with me…I thought it was due to the language barrier since his Italian language was not very good. Anyway, my heart was beating fast for the excitement and I was projecting the “being rude” in “he really wants me a lot, he likes me a lot”.
I answered, “what rules?”
Then he sent me 3 long messages, one for each condition, ( I do not remember his exact words but I remember very well the content. The fist was:
1 About the way you offer your body to my pleasure: You must be freshly and completely shaved up to your waist. You must be clean inside. You must wear stockings, g-strings and just a t-shirt as a top. You must use a woman's body lotion with a nice and sexy woman perfume. Your ass must be ready for penetration, opened, and properly lubed. I hope you are well trained cause I am pretty big and I will go hard and deep on you.
About the first part I thought it was reasonable, besides the fact that he wanted me to be clean he wanted me to feel more feminine. About being open, I was used to the size of my 8-inch dildo and I thought no real man could be as big as it was. So I felt comfortable about handling him ( yes…I was naïve and without experience..i should have thought better about it). Anyway, rejecting him was not an option. I wanted him, he has been successful in turning on my desire and for me it was a pleasure and easy to fulfill his request so I answered pretty fast.
I said: “no problem”
2 About our interaction: we do not talk and we do not see each other: We communicate by sms only…and I do not accept a no from you. When I need to empty my balls you must be available as soon as possible in that same day, I will not wait till the next day. You send me a sms when you are at the entrance door of my house, I open it and you come upstairs to the flat. You will find the door opened, enter and close the door. The first door on the right is my bedroom…go in, undress and get ready. When you are ready send a sms and turn the light off. Then put yourself in doggy at the border of the bed and wait for me. When I will have finished I go away. Right after you can turn on the light, get dressed and go home…I do not want to see you. Soon you will forget my face and so I will do for you. You’ll remember my cock very well and I will remember your ass.
This was weird. I have never had sex with a man before and I really could not imagine that this was going to be my first time. I expected it should be more like a boy-girl intimate connection, touching kissing, and having fun together. Also I felt a little bit humiliated that he wanted to do it without light, just at the dark, and did not want even to see or talk to me before or after.
However, rather than say no, I tried to figure out why of this request and I thought that it was related to his cultural brakes about homosexuality…maybe he felt ashamed of something that he somehow desired but could not admit. I was sure that if we enjoyed each other, little by little we could have removed this rule and have something like a relationship.
I took like half an hour to answer but then I said: “ok”
3. Accept your role as my cumdump: I do not use condoms and I cum inside. I am clean, I got tested before coming to Italy.
This request scared me. At that time I could not understand why it could be so important for him not to use a condom so I said: “This is very risky, I never had unprotected sex with girls and I do not see why we should do it…I mean it can be fun anyway don’t you think?”
His answer was very rough. “You have to say Yes or no….if you say no we stop it here and you will never be suitable for my big black African cock.”
That was the hardest point for me to accept…and his answer sounded like a challenge to me….also I did not want to disappoint him and in the previous days, my head has been spinning so much on fantasies I was obsessed…so I said to myself…”if he is so careful about all these details and if he says he is clean maybe I should trust him. Let’s try one time and see how it goes.…
So I say “ok, if it is so important for you I accept it, I do not want to disappoint you”
“Very good” he said. Then he added: “Soon you will experience how it feels to be owned by a black man from Africa and you will experience the real sex. You will love it and that will change your life forever”
I said: ”you are scaring me” and he answered: “do not worry, your big, fat white ass is a clear sign, I have no doubts. You will find out soon you are a black cock slut and you cannot escape from your fate.”
These words sounded so exciting but scary..I had no idea of what was going to happen.
However I was surprised because I was not offended by his words anymore. I thought, “ok it is just his way of talking, he does not know how to say things more smoothly”. I always tried to justify his manners.
Then he said: ”now stop talking, I will message you when I want to fuck your ass”.
It was Friday so I had the weekend to start getting ready for him. I went shopping cause I only had a few things and I wanted to buy new sexy lingerie for him. It was fun to look for stockings and lingerie, trying to figure out if he would have liked it. I also tested several women's body lotions trying to guess what fragrance would be his favorite one. I picked a very sweet body lotion called “Angel”, I still use it after 25 years.
Somehow I already felt like I was his woman. I was doing all these things to please him.
Friday night I played with my dildo fantasizing he was him. I never tried to push it all the way in because in my masturbation games, I just needed a little bit of anal stimulation and I felt that it hurt if I went too deep. But that day I thought I had to try to take it balls deep cause he might have been as big as the dildo. It had a vacuum lock so I stuck it on the floor, I lubed it and I lubed my ass. Then I sat on it and I pushed as down as I could. I could feel a sense of fullness but then it stopped somehow 1 inch before the balls. I could feel hitting a spot and not being able to pass it. I tried to push harder but it hurt and it was not going more than that. When I took it out there was some red spot on the tip. So I got scared and stopped immediately.
So I started to think: “ What if do not like anal sex with him? And if I have to stop him because of the pain? he will not like me and he will be disappointed. He will not want to see me anymore” Too much thinking I guess but I could not avoid it…I did not want to disappoint him.
At that time I did not have internet. I thought that it reached the end of my ass and I was afraid it was too short for him.
So the day after I went to a sexy shop. I was very embarrassed but I needed to ask about these things and I did not know who else to ask. There was this older lady and she explained me about the sigmoid bend. She said it takes a lot of patience and lube and she said I should not be worried because it is extremely rare that a man can go so deep. I was too shy to say that my lover was a black man and that he told me he was quite big. So I just said I wanted to train my ass and be able to take my dildo to the balls.
And she said: “relax, try to find the right angle and position and put lube inside with a big syringe”
She added: “ Anyway, go slow and do not push, you can get hurt. it is a matter of time and training. Always stop if you see a red spot”
I bought the big syringe and a big bottle of lube, I also bought an anal douche to clean myself. I went home, got ready for my session, injected the lube, and tried again with my dildo. It still hurt but I could feel something different. With the lube, my inner body was trying to make room for the dildo. I could feel it was stretching my bowels but it was not enough. It was a strong stimulation but not a discomfort…a mixed pleasure and pain. I still could not take it all the way but the feeling was acceptable. Indeed I could feel some drop of cum on my cock…I was close to the orgasm. So I gave just a few deep strokes with the dildo. It was painful but I had an orgasm without touching myself.
I thought: “ ok this is why some people are obsessed with penis sizes…a bigger cock feels way better than an average one…it is completely a new experience”
And I went further: “Maybe he can give me an orgasm just fucking me. If it is so, maybe I am more similar to a girl than to a man. I cannot make a girl cum with my small cock but a big cock can make me cum”
I know they were crazy thoughts but I really had to learn so many things about sex, everything for me was a new discovery and something to think about. I think from that day cock sizes started to become important to me and at the same time I started to lose interest in sex with girls.
So I was telling to myself: “Maybe the rude black man at the park was right about me, about my ass, being built for big black cocks”
Probably this day is the origin of how I became a size queen. With years and years, I explored and got used to very large, huge, (I’d say extreme) dildos sizes.
Next time I will finally tell you about the meeting with my black lover…yes, because despite what he felt and the way he wanted to dominate me I already considered him as my lover. Just give me a sign that you enjoy the reading…I decided to use this thread to collect my memories so I will continue anyway. However it is nice to feel that my writings might be of inspiration for someone.
4 months ago