Sissy's and crossdressers

I'm starting to write things down on how I feel as my sissy self. Comments will be welcomed and friending someone and meeting others is always possible.
I've been crossdressing since I was a very young c***d, long before I knew that there was something called sex but knowing some how that I couldn't let anyone else know. I've been married twice and have worn my wives lingerie without them knowing. There has been only 1 other person who knew and that was a co-worker who was gay and we had a affair that went on for 4 to 5 years. It started out as two men but once I mentioned that I love wearing lingerie he had me wear it every time we met because he knew it made me horny and was always ready for sex.
I have tried to find others who want to meet and play or even just to talk but I don't seem to have any luck, maybe it's because here in Iowa this is still considered a little weird. I know that there are others like me but they seem to shy to meet and going to meetings is impossible because my wife doesn't know about my sissyness and I can't tell her.
I would like to hear from others so that there can be some communication between us.