Senior Sex The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well." OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having… Read more

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.” The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!” The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot r… Read more

My wife is so annoying! "do you think I'm sexy? How hot am I? Aren't I gorgeous? Do I have a nice ass?" "Do these pants make look fat?"........All I want is for her to answer me once in awhile!!!!… Read more

I was bored today so I thought I'd look up some good one liners..... for no good reason really; Just because I could and had some time to kill! I've used some of them and added a few of my own. Feel free to leave your own. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" (I actually used this one once) If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong... God must love stupid people. He made SO many. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. Crowded elevators smell different to mi… Read more

I love the fact that we have the ability to make friends here. I'm here to have fun as are most of you. You know why I'm here. It's stated why I'm here on my profile. If you haven't read it then stop here and read it. I'll wait....................... I have a simple rule. If you are on my friends list it's because I like you, we have great conversations or we are like minded people that share the same interests and respect to the content that we enjoy not to mention each other. It has been brought to may attention, on several occasion, friends of ours have been disrespected, even worse, har… Read more

My good friend passiva inspired me to do this. I did find all of these online. There's some good ones here. Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock. Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention. You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home. Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard. If you're feeling down, I can feel you up. My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass? Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to sprea… Read more